Sunday, March 1, 2009

Academy Award Winning Movies

WHY do I go see these things?? I need to go with my first instinct. If I didn't want to see it before, I probably shouldn't talk myself into going to see it at the movies simply because Kate Winslet won an Oscar!

My new Mantra needs to be: "Remember Like Water for Chocolate!" Because What the hell was that!? I am honestly confused when people tell me they LOVED that movie because it was so romantic. Seriously people?? I think fireworks came out of their ass at the end. That's disturbing and F'd up, NOT romantic.

Back to my complaint - Brandy and I went to go see "The Reader" this weekend at the theaters. I talked myself (and her) out of going to see "He's Just Not That Into You" because I heard Kate Winslet won and Oscar and people were saying how moving this movie was....

Was anyone else disturbed by this movie?? (A) there was a LOT of nudity. Full frontal nudity....FROM A TEEN; and (B) it TOTALLY bummed me out. Although, in its defense, I don't recall any of the reviews saying it was the "uplifting, feel good movie of the year." I guess it probably should have been intuitive that a movie about Nazis and the death of Jews was not going to be something to make you go home humming a happy tune.

However, I still submit that THERE WAS A LOT OF NUDITY! I believe at one point, I was questioning whether they would EVER put their clothes on... I tell you, that movie adversely affected my popcorn and milk dud consumption rates, it was that disturbing!

PLUS, the theater was FULL of old people. Not old people like me old people, I mean senior citizens (who got a discount to go to this show -- and were probably thankful). ALL the handicapped seats were taken, and I think the people behind us were annoyed at our continuous popcorn crunching (and probably my running commentary on how all the nakedness was disturbing to me....). Old people aren't as patient as they should be, frankly. Where is the kindly grandmother figure these days??

What will likely happen is that someone will point out some obvious thing about the movie, and I will go, "OOOOOHHH!" and then the movie will make sense and will seem a lot better. Kinda like when I totally hated "No Country for Old Men" because it was totally not plausible that the creepy, bad-haircut guy could find that guy everywhere he went and always showed up immediately and nobody ever seemed to catch him! That guy got away with like 723 murders!!! So I was bitching one day about how it honked and how idiotic the police department was back in the 70s, and my friend Paul pointed out that the creepy guy was Death, noting how he always said "You don't see me." if someone were going to live, and then the movie made sooo much more sense (but still a bummer, I tell you)!

However, back to The Reader, unless they're going to dress that kid, and make him about 8 years older (minimum) I'm frankly not going to see that happening. And this is coming from a girl who married a younger man!!!

That movie was like mental terrorism!!! Clearly, I'm not ready for deep, emotional movies with a social message.

You see, we build to that. Baby Steps.


Beth said...

I felt that way about American Beauty. It creeped me out when the guy slept with the teenaged girl next door.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Loved this - nice to meet you!