Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Bags are Packed and We're Ready to Go...

Well, Kernel's are...mine, not so much. For the last few hours I have been lugging ginormous bags of dog food down the stairs and out to the car. I was carrying them on my head like a Sudanese woman (practice, so I can fit in). Now I'll be all cocky..."What up bitches! Check out my bag o'kibble! WORD." (I think that is still cool in Sudan)

However, today did NOT go smoothly. This morning Jack apparently tried to end it all. I received frantic calls from the dog walker telling me that one of the dogs got into the puppy Prozac and they didn't know how many they ate. By the time I got home, it was obvious it was Poods. Check out the eyes! He was all kinds of messed up! (This is your puppy on crack.) Vet said Jack did not take a lethal dose -- just a really strong dose - usually reserved for total mental case dogs. Clearly, he was looking for attention.

In addition, while Poods was writing out his "goodbye cruel world" note, Kernel got into the bag of squeaky toys I bought him to take to Brandy's house. He had de-stuffed two of them, but at least had the grace to look ashamed. So I came home to one totally stoned dog and two stuffed animals that exploded all over the living room.

It's been a GREAT day here.

My dog food loading attracted a LOT of attention -- all the neighbors were coming over to ask me what I was doing and then act all sad that we were moving. (Although, I'm not sure WHY, because we have lived in this house for over 3 years now and I only remembered one neighbors' name. ) And, I noted that NOBODY offered to lug any food for me. LAZY!

After I told my audience our saga, Patty came back with a box of Junior Caramels to "make it all better."
WHY didn't I make friends with this lady?? Clearly, she is a healer.


Beth said...

Dagnabit. Sounds like you need to sit back with a glass (no, make that a bottle) of wine and enjoy the Junior Caramels.

Comedy Goddess said...

Neighbors seem to appear too late, or at the worst time. Sounds to me like she was raiding her kids backpack. Who brings Jr. Caramels to a neighbor she has never met?

kwr221 said...

I'm sorry to laugh about your stress, and I'm glad Pood is okay, though mellow. But, really. You write baout the funniest shit.
Or at least make the mundane funny as all get out.

Gaston Studio said...

Just found you and am so glad. Read thru your older posts and commiserate with you so much about having to find Kernel another home but I agree totally that you did what was right for him. Evidently you are going to become an expat, residing in Sudan. You will be SO happy you didn't take your dog once you get there and see for yourself how pets are looked upon.
Good luck!