Thursday, March 5, 2009

Thelma and Louise (and Kernel)

After work today, Liz and I are going to roadtrip to Michigan to take Kernel to his new home. (I'm still amazed I can now type that without bursting into tears. Everyone was right, it DID get better. So sorry I called you all big, fat, heartless liars. I can see now that was uncalled for.)

I have decided to document our trip with photos - which means that I may remember to take one or two, and almost positively they will be of Kernel. As you may have noticed, my sole focus has been on Kernel lately. I have neglected poor Poods (aka Jack). In fact, yesterday, I had to take Jack to the vet for his International Health Certificate and the vet noticed that Poods had a sore on the back of his foot that he had licked raw.

Naturally, I treat the vet like 30 minutes of free therapy, so I launched into how upset I've been over Kernel, and how Poods has always been sensitive to unhappiness and stress. So the vet gave me a bottle of Puppy Prozac for Poods (notice the alliteration....4 points). He said it was to calm his "anxiety" issues. The Vet said it will help him on the flight to Sudan, with Kernel's departure, and with the new home .

Okay, aside from the whole - I've made our home a hostile environment for a DOG issue, WTF!!! What about ME?! Where's my Prozac?? SELFISH, POODS!

And as an aside, I gotta get this out there...last night I also took the Jeep into Carmax and pretty much threw it away. However, as I'm waiting for them to process the paperwork, this couple sat down beside me -- RIGHT beside me. The waiting room was EMPTY. I hate that!!! So then, the lady turns to me and goes, "hi." (I KNOW! THE NERVE!)

They proceeded to tell me about how happy they were with the carmax experience (How lame is that? Who is ever happy with a car buying experience? And WHO CALLS IT THE CARMAX EXPERIENCE?) They chatted non-stop.

Is it not obvious that I HATE other people?? And even more than that, I hate chitchat! Anyway, thank God Liz and Dan showed up with the car they are loaning me (these people are saints by the way. You should really make friends with them. Dan's an orthopedic surgeon and I'm counting on the fact that if I ever need a new hip, I'm SET! At my age, you gotta think ahead.)

Anyway, the Jeep is now"sold" and checked off my list -- if by "sold," you mean given enough money to buy another box of girl scout cookies to replace the ENTIRE box of thin mints I ate in one sitting during the whole Kernel debacle of March 2nd (that's its new name).

Hopefully, we won't pull an authentic Thelma and Louise...especially because I'm now borrowing Liz' car....


Anonymous said...

There's nothing more I hate than someone who sits next to me in a pool of open in point- we went to the beach last weekend and picked our spot- the beach was pretty desolate and I would say people were sitting between 30-50 ft. from each other, except for this family of smoking hillbillies who came and laid their towels so freaking close to us I got a spray of their sunscreen. So Graham and I just got up and moved our shit. I was not going to put up with their loud voices, smoke and obnoxiousness for the 3 hours I intended to spend there.

Believe me- it will get easier with the pooch...I had to give mine up and although it was very hard and I cried for what it seemed forever, I saw the light.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Just don't start dancing with strangers in some honky-tonk bar in Indiana, and you should be okay.

I was thinking you should take one of Pood's pills...