Monday, March 16, 2009

Did I Call It, or What??

Last night I finally gave in and unpacked my bags - knowing that I had to go into the office and probably shouldn't show up in the same clothes I wore last week and/or my smelly sweats. So I unpacked, went shopping and bought some microwavable (non-girl scout cookie) food - even some half-&-half for my morning coffee.

I was making this hotel a home. I was considering going to Home Depot to pick out some wall color (I'm sure that they would've been so thankful, they'd give me a discounted rate on my stay!) So I awoke this am, put on clean clothes, did my hair, put on makeup and went to work.

And how was I rewarded??

I was told that I am leaving for Sudan tomorrow. TOMORROW!!!

Now my newest (and frankly toughest) challenge faces me: HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET ALL THAT CRAP BACK INTO THAT SUITCASE!?!?!

How the hell did I get it all in there? WHY, for the love of all that is holy, WHY won't it go back in there???

Forced to review and rethink everything I might need - I'm frantically shoving crap into my bags while watching American Justice on A&E -- and DAMN, people are ghetto!! Am I being too judgey here? Wouldn't you put on makeup, iron your clothes, and comb your hair before doing an interview for a TV show??? I'm going to go out on a limb - even before the end of the show and state: The parents did it. (They totally look like they did it. Creepy mustache, bad hair. Clearly, bad....see my past experience with jury duty for reference; I can totally tell guilt just by lookin' at 'em.)

Also, watching these shows has only cemented my resolve to always clean the house before I go to bed, or leave it for any reason -- on the off chance that someone will die and/or break in. I would be utterly humiliated if my house were a pigsty for all the world to see when they do a show re-enacting the crime. This goes hand in hand with my resolve never to wander around the house or sleep naked, because I believe that will increase my chances of dying -- as all dead people seem to be found naked -- and I refuse to be found naked. Crime scene photos are brutal.

Everyone knows the camera adds 10 pounds (and, as it turns out, girl scout cookies add another 14.)


Anonymous said...

Ok at the risk of sounding completely dumb, and I've tried to go back really to find out, I have but I haven't found it...WHY are you going there!?!??!? WHY!?!?! Why not Florida? It's so nice here...and our beach is so pretty...come see, for reals!

Gaston Studio said...

LOL, well, you knew if you unpacked, you'd get the call to roll. Frankly, I'm happy for you as you were beginning to lose it kiddo, what with all the girl scout cookies, smelly sweats and picking out paint colors.

Save flight.

Beth said...

There is some sort of version Newton's Law that causes unpacked necessities to expand once placed out of the suitcase. And it causes planned moves that have been delayed to suddenly not be delayed once the suitcase has been unpacked.

Seriously, be safe. We'll hold the fort till you return to bloggy land.