Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Downward Spiral Begins

Okay, so I think that living in a hotel with two large dogs has finally caused me to hit bottom. I suspect you all knew this day was coming - I did too, just didn't think it would be so PUBLIC....

So Saturday started off normal -- took the boys out for their walk, ran out of girl scout cookies, put on my alternate sweats -- you know, same ole, same ole.... I was putting the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door because I didn't want the maids to come in and face two barking, extremely bored dogs. Obviously, this was an irresistible taunt to the teen aged boys in the hotel....who felt compelled to bang on the door and bark at the dogs through the door every 20 minutes.

Normally, I could handle that - would just set a trap that would simply maim those bratty rodent children. Unfortunately, the hotel had a pipe break and there was NO WATER yesterday from about 10 am. (You know I never shower on Saturday until at least noon. It's my way) SOOO, I'm unshowered, have to purchase water from the vending machine (at $2 each) to give the boys a drink of water, and am being consistently harassed by mother f'in teens in the hallways.


So, the barking, the stinking, and running out of all my change caused me to snap. I literally stood at my door waiting for the little bastards to strike again. I didn't even have to wait long. (they're not very stealthy). They pounded on the door and I threw it open and chased that mother f'er down the hall. Caught him, and started screaming at him to grow the fuck up and where the hell were his parents?

The little bastard started to cry. His parents came out of their room to finally see what the hell was going on and I let THEM have it too. They stared at me in shock, mouth breathing, and gaping like a fish.

I can only imagine what they (and the other people who looked outside their rooms) were thinking. A smelly, crazy woman had a hold of their son, screaming at him - dogs barking in the distance. Amazingly enough, the dad actually apologized to me (I would have called the cops on me).

Beth, this is an example of the Ding Dong Ditch gone horribly wrong. I assume that kid regrets his decision right now. I haven't heard a peep out of anyone this morning; the water is back on and there is blessed silence.

I even showered and combed my hair. Next week, maybe I'll even try makeup.


Gaston Studio said...

What a hoot! I can just see you chasing after those kids, screaming, stinking, dehydrated, with messy hair flying. You probably scared 5 years off their little lives even BEFORE accosting their parents!

What I would have done. Enough's enough. Have a restful day.

Beth said...

I love it! I'll bet that kid will NEVER play that game again. Come to think of it, he'll probably need a little therapy. But he probably needed it before he started knocking on doors.

And I think the kid got what he deserved. Those kinds of games really aren't funny.

You are hilarious!