Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Twilight...

Okay, once again I am FORCED to post about Twilight. WHY can't I quit you Edward!?

I have a confession to make (and no, I'm not going to confess yet again that I have read the ENTIRE series, have done the internet research, watched the movie, and have seriously looked into how I can move to Forks Washington ...) I have now corrupted the entire diplomatic community in Sudan with the Twilight series. (I have not moved onto the Sudanese yet though...you see, we have to build to that!)

Their arguments against it were not only repetitive and puny (Teens?? Vampires? WHAT? WHY?) -- they were no match for me!! ESPECIALLY when I pointed out that it was all the buzz, people were talking about it and they wouldn't be able to join in the conversation.. PLUS, every diplomat out there is constantly searching for anything to talk about besides the "what do you do at your embassy?" and "Have you gotten used to how hot it is yet?" (God that is lame!) during these damn National Days.... Honestly, its like going to the same function night after night...

-- I managed to convince the Brits by guilting them into it: I pointed out that we totally did them a solid on the whole Harry Potter thing (which is totally not as good, FYI!)

-- I told the Canadian guy to use it for research on a new threat to his homeland (in hindsight, maybe that was wrong...);

-- I convinced the Italian lady by threatening to withhold information about where the spa is located; and

-- I shamed my boss Paul into it by pointing out that he pretty much called me fat in an official function in front of foreigners....(and then I told him I posted a blog about it and how he has been added to the No-Fly watchlist with Homeland security -- ENJOY YOUR VACAY PAUL....) Plus, I cannot wait to mock him openly in front of the foreigners....because, that's always fun:

"So Paul, can I get my copy of Twilight back? I already Loaned you the other three AND the movie. Plus, did you have to highlight passages and make notes in the margin?? I mean, that's kinda rude don't you think?? I didn't realize you were so into teen vampire romances. I think that is just great! Mohammad? Have you read it? Paul can tell you all about it!! Paul....go on...."

Payback is not the only bitch in town !

18 comments:

blognut said...

I love you, Michel! Honestly, I think it's fabulous that you are setting Paul up for future embarrassment. That's exactly the sort of thing I would do!

You and Payback are not the only 2 bitches in town!

darsden said...

I don't do vampires..there are real ones out there!

Michel said...

Blognut: hell hath no fury like me. I hold grudes I tell you...even when I can't really remember why...

Darsden: But EDWARD is a good vampire! And he is so dreamy and conflicted. (sigh)

Kathy B! said...

How did I take so long to find your blog?!

You are an evil genius... and that's a compliment, btw :P

Michel said...

Kathy! I have often wondered if this world might not be a better place if I would (a) actually DO work, rather than pretend to work and (b) used my powers for good.

Guess we'll never know

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Bwahahah!!!! Oh, how I wish I could be in your world...the fun.

Heidi said...

I too am a huge fan of Twilight. After you have finished encouraging everyone to read the Twilight series you need to get them to read cook books so they can learn how to make good cake.

tera said...

Ok, I'm probably going to make enemies by stating that I don't get the whole Twilight thing... (I personally prefer the Blood Ties series) but my main issue here is ...FORKS? Seriously?? Honey, take my word for it, it rains there more than almost anywhere else in the country. Seriously.
Shudders

Smart Mouth Broad said...

OK, I was on the fence but you've convinced me now. I'll read it/them. And Paul..........muahhahhahha.
Michel, I just love the bitch in you.

Gaston Studio said...

Excellent setup for Paulie and he totally deserves it.
Good little bitch!

Refuse to discuss Twilight when there are so many excellent books out there.

Hit 40 said...

I will have to try the Twilight movie for you. I really do not enjoy reading a whole book. TOO ADHD!!!

He put notes and highlighted your book??? Is he making you a test over it?? Did he want to have a book talk with you? Highlighting and note taking when reading just for enjoyment? I am out of the nerd loop on this one.

Suzy said...

Okay, now I know why Heidi wrote me and said she discovered you thru my comments and thinks you're funny. SHE'S TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THAT SERIES. I'd read it but I haven't learned how to read yet. I'm only 3.

Beth said...

Is it wrong of me to feel sorry for Paul? I still haven't read the Twilight series. Do you really think it is worth reading?

Justin said...

My 14 yr old daughter is really into the Twilight series... read the books, internet stuff and the movie, etc. The reason I bring this up is to highlight the fact that now Paul is a 14 yr old girl.

Jason, as himself said...

What was that? I missed it. My eyes glazed over as soon as I read the word,"Twilight."

I'm sorry, nothing personal, you know I love you. I just, you know, am tired of the competition.

Jahnu said...

Go and speak to Amy at Bitchin' Wives...she has done a post on this too :))
xx

Jahnu said...

Oh damn...that was me, Braja :))) On my hubby's computer and didn't change the ID... been posting commments on my comments the same way...btw, commented quite a bit since you posted...quite a little discussion going on re the spiritual...
xxx
LOVE BRAJA :)))

Michel said...

Mary: You totally CAN! There is a daily flight from Frankfurt - you'll just have to stop in Jeddah and Pretoria on the way..it's not trouble..really.

Heidi: I seriously could talk about Twilight for days.

Tara: GASP! I said GOOD DAY!

SMB: Honestly, I feel your pain - i fought it, Liz fought it - we all fought it. It SOUNDS stupid...we loved it.

Jane: But are they teen vampire romances? come on now....focus!

Hit 40: The movie is not as good as the book. However, I thank you for your support!!

Suzy: 3 words: books on tape

Beth: No, sometimes even I pity paul. Then I remember the attrocities committed against me. It's all good.

Justin: Feel free to tell him that personally.

Jason: You cannot put your personal feelings aside for Edward and Bella? Think of the them, Jason...think of them.

Braja: You have your hubby's password to his account?!?! You totally need to post all kinds of comments!!! (on someone else's blog) Open with..."So I really hate stem cell research. Thoughts?"

I'll go check them out!