Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Stress is Killing Me!!!

Now I've gone and done it! I broke my damn blog!

I got all uppity because I received not one, but TWO major awards (that did not come with cash and, therefore, are dead to me) from Beth and from the Smart Mouth Broad. Therefore, thinking that it was simply only a matter of time before their checks arrived, I set about posting said awards on my blog - because I'm gracious like that.

And then I decided to actually READ their posts and realized that Beth told all her followers to come and read my blog!! So then I was feeling all nekked-like, I mean, we might be having company today - people who are not my family and Liz - and they can't see my blog like it looks everyday! I needed to clean that shit up pronto.

So I went into the "customize" your blog button dealey-bobber. (Stop me if I get too technical here) And then I tried to fancy the place up! I was looking at gadgets, debating whether to change the blog layout, color scheme, choose a whole new look ....I was gonna throw it all out there. Puttin on the glitz for these nameless people.

Why? You ask?? Good question. (You're welcome. I like to reward good behavior.) Because it has recently come to my attention that it matters how many followers you have (and apparently bragging about having 9s of followers is not done. Honestly, someone really needs to write a blogger etiquette book. So that some of us can avoid looking like the new hillbilly from Montana on the block!!)

Now I'm not entirely sure why it matters, but I have read a number of posts where people accuse people of not following them. (Had I known that baseless accusations could be throw about, I would have been on that a LONG time ago!) However, I am not here to question the establishment.

And then, it also came to my attention that some blogs have a little thing that ranks commenters. And I noticed that my name was NOT EVEN ON THE LIST -- which frankly is an unspeakable outrage (credit to Beth) and will not be tolerated. SO, I have spent the last few days in a flat out war with Vodka Mom to become the greatest commenter of all time. (Because I am sure there has to be cash involved in this honor. )

SOOO, I prettied up the place, and hit save....then it looked all funky/screwey and the little bar with the Arabic writing I have learned to use was MISSING. There was NOTHING there. I couldn't do anything!!!
(Photo taken previously so that I could prove to my parents (and now you) that I was enduring hardship here!)

WTF 'puter!? I turned it off, went downstairs to make a small snacky-snack and came back up and it had fixed itself....but back to the old self, not the new snazzy self (which, technically speaking, I never actually SAW, but am sure it was beyond fabulous. People would have written songs about it). No, the non-cleaned up for company self.
And you know what?? I'm just gonna leave it -- for safety reasons.
Now, not only do I have to live with the same stupid blog, Beth also told everyone I was "hilarious and would make you laugh out loud." WTF BETH!? Now what am I supposed to do!?! I cannot be the greatest commenter of all time AND be funny!? Its simply too much for one person. I give up!

And, to update you all on the daily hardships that are my life - I gotta admit...today was good. My housekeeper and cook started yesterday (and before you start thinking how glamorous and cool my life is here - let me caveat that with a disclaimer that I live in a dirt pile (and I'm lazy), combined with the price of food here -- I found out there is a Sudanese price, and a Western devil price (shockingly, even the Sudanese call me the devil. I wonder where that comes from??) -- THEREFORE, I'm not glamorous or cool per se; rather, just lazy and cheap. (And, all the cools kids have them here. I pretty much am that shallow.)

Anyway, we stopped at the National War Cemetary the other day and I took a picture. And by "war," they mean the one they fought with the British back in the day when General Gordon tried to stop the slave trade in Sudan. In case you didn't know, that ended badly and wasn't such a good plan (in hindsight). I thought this was even more cool though because if you'll notice....there is GRASS!


Hit 40 said...

I will comment and follow! YOUR RANT WAS EXCELLENT!! I am soo tired. But, I think you stopped by my post today?? I also spent the day trying to make sure that I figured out the easy things on this blog site - I thought maybe I could preschedule a blog to be posted??? I even read all the help links w/o luck. Anyway.... we both got a headache today trying to figure out technology!!! I have a funny one today if anyone wants a GOOD GIGGLE!! And, my post tomorrow is adorable. You might have to steal the post idea from me.

Hit 40 said...

Oh... and how the heck do you get your comments to be where everyone can see them without having to click to them!!! And, can I preschedule a posting??? I am back to work on Monday - and it would help. Maybe, you can make your tips tomorrows posting for me. THAT WOULD ROCK!!!!!

only a movie said...

Hi - visiting from Beth's place. :-) Looks just great over here. Lots of fun. I imagine I will stop back again.

Jan said...

Okay, you were recommended by both Beth and Smart Mouth Broad...you must be the real deal.


I think your blog is quite nice. And I wouldn't worry too much about the whole "who's following who" bit. I can't technically follow you because I use WordPress to blog, but I can subscribe to your feed. Which is just as good.

If you want the lowdown on blogging etiquette, you can do a little reading here.

Beth said...

Again, hilarious! Sorry to put so much pressure on you. I have faith that you'll be able to handle it.

And I'm like you on the followers. It is really flattering and all but I'm usually not sure where I am going. Will they care when I get them lost?

Anonymous said...

I think VodkaMom gets paid a commission for each comment. She's stinkin' rich!!!

Great post and your blog look is marvelous.

Anonymous said...

I've been meaning to update the look on my blog but I'm too scared to do it in fear I'll erase the whole fucking thing...because I'm stupid that way. And forgive me for asking- but what have you changed since I was here last? And what are you talking about rankings? My head hurts already! Haven't you read what kind of day I've had!?!?? Don't play with my head today!

Suzy said...

I tried putting that translator on my blog then everything I wrote came out in Hindi. It was pretty funny, for 20 seconds.

Suzy said...

i forgot to thank you for voting for me!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Yes, this blogging thing is not for the weak. There are days, I tell you, that blogging makes me hide back under the covers from whence I came. :o)

Alisha said...

haha, I totally get you on the blog world. People are CRAZY out there!

blognut said...

Dudette, I say WE write a blog etiquette book. We can do a whole chapter about comment contests on Braja's blog. Yeah? Let's do it.


That's the smiley face I promised to leave!

darsden said...

I have really enjoyed your quest to be the best :-)

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

How can you be both Beth and SMB recommended and I never have been here. And you are a lot of fun. I'll be back.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Sorry for the additional pressure but you do have the cupcake for emergency stress attacks. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

Stopped by from Beth's and I just have one thing to say... I'm lazy and cheap too, where's my damn housekeeper?! This is so not fair!

:o) i will follow :o)

Tricia said...

So glad I stopped by. Hilarious. Cheap and lazy seem like the perfect reasons for a housekeeper and cook...where do I sign up!

Gaston Studio said...

TOO funny! I first started my blog to increase traffic to my small business online and then thought, "Who the hell wants to read about something new I've put in the shop?" It's much more interesting to write about roaches in the south and snakes in the outhouse!

Have I increased traffic... hell no! I'm too busy keeping up with you and your GLAMOROUS life in a Third World country; Beth and daily encounter with IGNORANT PARENTS and snotty nosed kids; and Smart Mouth Broad and her BIKER buddies!

I'm not even awake yet today!