I got all uppity because I received not one, but TWO major awards (that did not come with cash and, therefore, are dead to me) from Beth and from the Smart Mouth Broad. Therefore, thinking that it was simply only a matter of time before their checks arrived, I set about posting said awards on my blog - because I'm gracious like that.
And then I decided to actually READ their posts and realized that Beth told all her followers to come and read my blog!! So then I was feeling all nekked-like, I mean, we might be having company today - people who are not my family and Liz - and they can't see my blog like it looks everyday! I needed to clean that shit up pronto.
So I went into the "customize" your blog button dealey-bobber. (Stop me if I get too technical here) And then I tried to fancy the place up! I was looking at gadgets, debating whether to change the blog layout, color scheme, choose a whole new look ....I was gonna throw it all out there. Puttin on the glitz for these nameless people.
Why? You ask?? Good question. (You're welcome. I like to reward good behavior.) Because it has recently come to my attention that it matters how many followers you have (and apparently bragging about having 9s of followers is not done. Honestly, someone really needs to write a blogger etiquette book. So that some of us can avoid looking like the new hillbilly from Montana on the block!!)
Now I'm not entirely sure why it matters, but I have read a number of posts where people accuse people of not following them. (Had I known that baseless accusations could be throw about, I would have been on that a LONG time ago!) However, I am not here to question the establishment.
And then, it also came to my attention that some blogs have a little thing that ranks commenters. And I noticed that my name was NOT EVEN ON THE LIST -- which frankly is an unspeakable outrage (credit to Beth) and will not be tolerated. SO, I have spent the last few days in a flat out war with Vodka Mom to become the greatest commenter of all time. (Because I am sure there has to be cash involved in this honor. )
SOOO, I prettied up the place, and hit save....then it looked all funky/screwey and the little bar with the Arabic writing I have learned to use was MISSING. There was NOTHING there. I couldn't do anything!!!
(Photo taken previously so that I could prove to my parents (and now you) that I was enduring hardship here!)
WTF 'puter!? I turned it off, went downstairs to make a small snacky-snack and came back up and it had fixed itself....but back to the old self, not the new snazzy self (which, technically speaking, I never actually SAW, but am sure it was beyond fabulous. People would have written songs about it). No, the non-cleaned up for company self.
And you know what?? I'm just gonna leave it -- for safety reasons.
Now, not only do I have to live with the same stupid blog, Beth also told everyone I was "hilarious and would make you laugh out loud." WTF BETH!? Now what am I supposed to do!?! I cannot be the greatest commenter of all time AND be funny!? Its simply too much for one person. I give up!
And, to update you all on the daily hardships that are my life - I gotta admit...today was good. My housekeeper and cook started yesterday (and before you start thinking how glamorous and cool my life is here - let me caveat that with a disclaimer that I live in a dirt pile (and I'm lazy), combined with the price of food here -- I found out there is a Sudanese price, and a Western devil price (shockingly, even the Sudanese call me the devil. I wonder where that comes from??) -- THEREFORE, I'm not glamorous or cool per se; rather, just lazy and cheap. (And, all the cools kids have them here. I pretty much am that shallow.)
Anyway, we stopped at the National War Cemetary the other day and I took a picture. And by "war," they mean the one they fought with the British back in the day when General Gordon tried to stop the slave trade in Sudan. In case you didn't know, that ended badly and wasn't such a good plan (in hindsight). I thought this was even more cool though because if you'll notice....there is GRASS!