Thursday, April 9, 2009

This Cannot Possibly Bode Well....

For my ass....

I gotta tell you, my cook ROCKS! I am not sure what the hell she is making - she called this dish, "meat," (no further specification) and it LOOKS like a big 'ole mess, but I gotta tell you...that shit is good!!!





And, those little fan shaped things, they are filled with veggies and I ADORE them...I'm not sure exactly what type of veggies they are, it all seems to be a lime green color inside, or what exactly the mashed potato looking thing is...But I do know one thing: it is not potatoes. Might be some sort of root all mashed up --turns out ground up mystery root is Yummy!!!
Ummm...Josh, you might wanna get over here pronto and so you can eat half of this! For safety reasons. I'm just sayin....
However, the one beef I have with foreign countries (okay, to be fair, I might have mentioned more than one) is that they do not cut up their meat in any recognizable format. Remember those pictures in the Betty Crocker Cookbook where they illustrated how/where to cut and what the cut is supposed to look like?? Remember that? I'm going to need someone to ship me a bushel of those. Because they have not made it to Africa.

The chicken seriously is unrecognizable. I'm not sure why they can't cut along the appropriate parts - I mean, it seems kinda intuitive. It's not like I got out the Betty Crocker Chicken map when I cut my first chicken...I just knew that the leg should be cut at the part where it meets the chicken.

Honestly, I'm not that bright! This cannot be rocket science. However, maybe in the interest of saving time, the butchers here use roadside bombs to cut up their chicken. I mean, Sudan is kind known to be sunny and terroristy. It would actually make sense if you think about it.

VIOLA! mystery solved. (Thank God I was here!!)
AND, I knew you guys were all waiting anxiously, so HERE ARE THE PUPPIES!!!!









Do not panic Josh and/or Liz, I have not adopted them (fully). I have, however given the local guards food and dog treats I had on hand for Kernel and Poods. In return, the guards say that I can name them. So far, these are the names I have come up with: Jihad and Abu wa'Akbar. Well, I did also have Dijaz on the list, but then I remembered that Dijaz means chicken in Arabic and realized that might not actually be prudent.
Maybe I should not be trusted to name them.... We've already established that the Sudanese do not get me, and by "get," I mean, "think I am funny." Which clearly is not right. SOOO, I open up the bidding for their little names.
The one not in the photo ran away under the guard house when I walked up to them. I've already named that one "Snotty." I also considered naming them Sleepy, Stinky, Fatty and Farty, but I didn't want to ruin their little puppy lives. You know how if you name your child "Marvin" he becomes a marvin at school?? I'd be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Therefore, I welcome your suggestions.

14 comments:

darsden said...

Oh that does look good. I am so hungry right now I am cutting this out and putting it in a pan. I want to know about the veggie pie! Cute lil babies :-)

Michel said...

And let me caveat before anyone who named their child Marvin gets all spun up in a huff, I was just using that as an ILLUSTRATION. I am sure your little Marvin is popular and beloved by all kids (who are not openly mocking him).

blognut said...

Do they cut the meat like that deliberately so you won't know if you're eating a house pet? Just wondering, 'cause I'd want to make sure.

As for the puppy names, I think Chuck and Larry.

Hit 40 said...

Sounds like you may have some scrape meat for the new puppies?

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Roly, Poly, Holy (for Easter) and Moly (the one that ran away).

Elizabeth said...

I think it only fair to your readers to confess to the fate of the last set of siblings you named (Haider and brothers). I believe it involved death by human food. Perhaps you should stay away from the puppies for their own safety.

And the cook is only as good as her ability to use refined sugar. If her desserts resemble that shit they call "cake" at Chinese restaurants, you'll need to fire her ass.

Fragrant Liar said...

Hmmm, I'm not too sure about the meat cake surprise. What sort of meat do the Sudanese favor?

For the pups, how about Harvey, Mikey, Ollie, and Stanley. Good 'merkin names. :)

Justin said...

Josh, this does not bode well for you. So many pics of puppies... so many pics of future pets.
- Justin

Beth said...

How about Algebra, Alfalfa, Alchemy, and Albatross (AKA Snotty). Then you could just yell Al and have them all come running.

I once ate a *real* Vietnamese restaurant in town. They chop all the meat up with the bone still in it. Gross!

Thanks for posting a meal scenario. I've been rabidly curious about what the Sudanese eat. Or at least what the Americans in Sudan eat.

minoyw said...

Wow!!!!! Michel, you have been blogging for real!! I assumed this foray into the blogosphere would fizzle out like most of your "hobbies"....also, I lost interest myself and stopped reading it 'cause as we all know, I have a very short attention span. Well, I'm back biatches, and I want to know why I can't get my own post vice merely commenting at the bottom of a long list of other peoples' comments? This is bullshit!! I'm OUTRAGED!!!! BTW - before I storm off in a virtual huff, Michel, I haven't seen you around the office lately. Are you sick or something? Where've you been? What's going on?

Justin said...

What do the Sudanese think of the American who takes photos of her meals?

Suzy said...

Do not name any of them Jihad. You're begging to be killed.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Somehow I missed this one. Feel free to use any of the names I was suggesting for you as names for the poopies. I can't stop it. I really need to grow up.

Mrs. K said...

so wait- your husband is not there with you getting his body full of shit?? WHY THE HELL NOT!?!?!? where is the for better or for worse part?