Remember how you used to describe when someone was mad at you that they were Giving you the Ole Stink Eye? Ever wonder where that came from??
Africa. It came from Africa.
More specifically, I think it might even have originated in Sudan. And, even more importantly, it is not limited to the Stink Eye, there is, apparently, also a Stink Ear.
Because that is what I have.
So here's the dealio. Khartoum has what you might describe as an air quality problem. The combination of sand storms, dust from the cars driving on the non-paved roads, and poor sanitation and waste management all combine to create the perfect storm of environmental conditions. Specifically (and this is gross, so if you're eating, you might want to navigate away from this page quickly...I'm just saying...) the air is FULL of fecal particulates. In fact, in the last survey done by the State Department (when they determine the amount of "post differential" they give employees - meaning how much extra they gotta pay you to live under these conditions) said that the amount of fecal particulates in the air is "too numerous to count." Which I can only assume means that there are large floating clouds of poop hovering over my house trying to get insdie RIGHT NOW!!!
Obviously, my house is not hermetically sealed because some of them got into my ear!!!
SOOO, (medically speaking) what happens is the poop - or "stink" as it is more commonly known - gets in your eyes, ears, sinuses and I can only assume lungs and creates the Hurt-ey symptoms found on WebMD.
Believe it or not, I am one of the lucky ones. There are currently three people at the Embassy with what looks like pink eye -but is, in reality, STINK EYE! Me...I was blessed with simply stink ear (which I think is a little less disgusting than Stink eye because ewweee). And God only knows how many there are in actuality -- these are the ones that I know! I'm frankly not that friendly, so there may be more!!
There may be a poopdemic and we just don't know it yet.
So maybe the Sudanese don't actually hate America! Maybe they weren't really GIVING us the stink eye, maybe they just HAD the stink eye! If we want to smooth our relations, we should probably just offer them some anti-bacterial drops for ears and eyes.
Once again, you're welcome! I realize you guys are just thankful I am here to help.
Get thee to an independent bookstore.
1 hour ago