Friday, April 24, 2009

???: It's What's for Dinner!!

Okay, so since MOST of you live in the greatest country in the Whole Wide World, The US of A -- Canada, don't even BOTHER trying to pretend like you're better. For the record, that is NOT bacon! -- (it's almost yearly eval season, I gots to pretend like I'm all gung-ho America and how I love my job...) ANYWAY, as America has a plethora of restaurant choices these days, I'm sure most everyone has had Ethopian food at least once in their life.

And if you haven't, you have GOT to do so. Why? Because that shit is good!!! Hot, mind you -- so hot your mouth burns a good 23 minutes after you finish eating - but it ROCKS. (In my humble opinion - and since this is MY blog, it's pretty much the only one that counts.)

Well, the reason I bring it up is because my cook made Ethopian food!!! (look I've attached a pretty pic for you as Exhibit A so that you can see that unholy mess - that looks so nasty, but tastes so, so yummy. ) It's important to be able to SEE what I am talking about, because I have a few questions concerning this.

Exhibit A

(a) What the HELL is it?! Do you see that piece of chicken. As far as I can tell, it is a chicken breast with a LEG coming out of the side of it. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THAT CHICKEN??? I suspect Sudan raises genetically deformed chickens, but I can't prove it -- yet.

(B) See exhibit B below. I have always wondered this....WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BREAD!? It is very yummy - when you eat it with the fiery food; but GOD HELP YOU, if you take a bite of that stuff without it. It is SOUR and Nasty....WHY? For the love of all that is holy, WHY!?

Exhibit B

Plus, don't you think it kinda looks like that stuff we put down in our cupboards and drawers? What is that stuff called? Contact paper?? You know, for when you put your glasses away and you don't want it to touch the cupboard because you have never cleaned it since you moved in?? You know that stuff??

All of the above, not withstanding, I still eat it, I still love it, and I will probably ask her to make it again.

Which I totally realize is probably quite surprising for you all - considering that USUALLY the stuff comes on a big communal tray and you have to share the lumps of food they put all over it - you are absolutely right, NORMALLY, that is not my dealio.

But it's just THAT good. (And, Josh isn't here, so I pretty much get to eat it all by myself, so it is not really an issue today.)

However, I might not WANT you to tell me what it is, how it is made or why it is the way it is. I can only assume there is some horrific Africa tragedy attached to the sour spongey bread and the chicken with the boob-leg. I don't want to know that.

Therefore, I officially decree, it is made from Ethoipian "Wheat," that (when ground finely) creates a spongey effect due to the climate and minerals in the soil. The dish itself is called Yummyspongeyhotbird. The Bread is called spongebobsourpants. The lentil looking mash on the side is called lentil curry. (dooy).

The chicken? I don't know, that shit's just messed up.


Gaston Studio said...

LOL. The bread does look like a very thin slice of some kind of sponge, a clean one at that! But that chicken. Damn, girl. If it was deformed what the hell are you ingesting that deformed it in the first place? Toxic waste?

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I cannot beeeeelieve you just dissed Canada! OH MY GOD.

And, yeah, it IS bacon, and BETTER bacon, baby!! And not only that, but, but,our pigs are happier pigs. And cuter...

And that chicken is totally messed up. And it isn't Canadian. It's most probably from the U.S. of A, eh. :oD

Smart Mouth Broad said...

"SpongeBobSourPants"! I'm LMAO!

blognut said...

I gotta be honest about that chicken-y boob chicken spongebob boob breast thingy. It looks like a pair of deep-fried sunglasses. And I don't know what to think about that bread. I wasn't thinking contact paper so much as that non-slip rubbery stuff we use to hold throw rugs in place. I don't think that's supposed to go in your mouth. Just sayin'.

Hit 40 said...

I do not see bread? It looks like the liquid in my bucket after I clean the kitchen floor.

And...I figured out the customize thing. Thank you!!!!!

kwr221 said...

You have a COOK?! whoa. I am jealous.

And the food looks good. Even better with a cold beer.

kwr221 said...

And don't diss Canada. I live in upstate NY and they're my neighbors. ANd they have way better beer. And all-dressed chips.

Jane! said...

I'm guessing Ethiopian restaurants don't put many pictures in their menus. Ex A looks tasty but B looks.... too much like a live skidosis culture. Okay, I made that up.

Good luck with your eval. Thankfully, I only have to pretend I'm all gung-ho on my state.

Glad you came over and waved your hand in front of my eyes.

darsden said...

LOL my butt off woman... I think there are other things in that food to "ya know wha I mean" you are hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Ok can I be frank? forget the chicken- what the hell is that shit next to the chicken? and that 'bread' you call you sure it is edible? it looks like it could be
a) a sponge
b) the fat they take off of people from lipo
c) asbestos

be careful...your girl may be trying to kill you. eat frosting instead.

Anonymous said...

wait i didn't mean asbestos...i meant that foam- the type florists use.

Michel said...

Jane!! I'm in Sudan. It's not like there are really OPTIONS...but point taken!

Mary: It's aboot time you noticed that I like to blame Canada!!

I also like to claim that I am FROM Canada when I meet strangers who yell accusingly at me "ARE YOU AMERICAN" - I simply yell back, "NO! I'm Canadian, you hoser!"

SMB: So was I!

Blognut! Yes! The rug thingey! THAT's what it was!! Exactly. However, that no-skid shit is yummy if you mix it with chicken boobleg

Kristen: You're just scared that Mary will get to your house before she finds me...

Jane! I'm going to have to call you Other Jane or we'll get confused. I'm usually insulting Jane (gaston studios) and I didn't want to offend you on your first day. You see, we BUILD to that.

Darsden: Yes. I believe it is called funk. And maybe some other crap.

Mrs. K: Yes, you may be Frank, but I am not sure many will believe it. It is a personal choice after all and I support you in your choices.

Frosting does sound like it would be yummier. Cake! It's what's for dinner!!

Michel said...

Hit 40! I did not forget you (yes I did); however, now that you mention it, it DOES look like liquid...but I swear to you, it's spongey bread.

You guys seriously need to go to an Ethiopian restaurant and try this stuff! I am sure the restaurants in America and Canada serve non-boogleg chicken

Susan said...

That's just nasty. I think the dirt has taken over your brain and the lack of decent cake has deadened your taste buds. That bread does indeed look like mop water. Not that I'd know from any recent experience...

Beth said...

Do you smell it before you eat it? And do the Sudanese have boneless chicken? I'm all about that boneless crap.

Found any good sushi restaurants yet?

Fragrant Liar said...

Regarding exhibit A, which one was the chicken again? All I saw was some weird-shaped toast with jam all over it and then some sort of masa goop. And regarding exhibit B, is that really pancake batter? It's got all the air out now, I think, so you can pour that stuff onto a hot griddle post haste and nuke the syrup. Yum!

Justin said...

Ate at a Ethopian restaurant in Atlanta once. They came out and put down that "bread" but I didn't eat it at first coz I thought it was the placemat. The waitress came out and did the "hand-to-mouth" mime. At that point I thought she was just trying to get the mzungu to eat a plastic product.

Jason, as himself said...

Hmmm. Never tried it. And with so many other yummy foods in the world, this doesn't look too tempting!

Hit 40 said...

Oh... how did you know that i would check back!@

bernthis said...

As you said in your comment to me, at least it was cooked FOR you. Do you know how many meals I cook that even I can't stand?

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

I dunno... it sure don't look like food to me! I guess when its all ya got :-/

jb said...

Michel...I'm a chef and all I want to say is Eh!!!!!Canadian bacon is looking pretty good at this moment. It really looks like soemone threw up I your plate a nice little Picasso painting. The bread truly if that's whats for dinner I'm scared to see what's for breakfast or lunch.

Thanks for becoming a follower and I hope you don't get food poisioning.