Daily Dilemma(s)

So this afternoon, Liz and I were chatting at work (thank you US taxpayer for paying to install instant messenger on my work computer) about matters of national security. Liz informed me that there was a critical shortage of Peeps in Northern VA. I KNOW! Why wasn't I called?!!?

Naturally, I would not be aware of this information as I am no longer there, and since Liz won't start her own blog - something about claiming that I steal all her material (and am a much faster type-er) so what's the point? -- CONSEQUENTLY, you all are likely not aware of this information!! And this is my public service to you! (Now do you see?? We are making sure the world is safe for democracy!)

So then started the Great Peep Debate of 2009. Wherein we spent HOURS (Okay, it was probably minutes - we're both too lazy to type that much) debating whether Peeps were actually yummy.


I say NAY!

Now don't get me wrong. I loves me some marshmallows!! In fact, I've never met a Rice Krispy Treat that I didn't like!! Because seriously, what's not to love!? AND, they're fat free! (Although, I might have made that up and have since forgotten if that was a lie I told myself in one of my many fatty food justification benders, but as far as I recollect, it's a FACT!) (See blog title for further info.)

Anyway, my point was, Peeps have potential. They COULD be yummy...but then it got all ruined because of that stale colored sugar hard-shelled coating. That crap is NASTY!


Plus, I heard once that no NEW peeps have been made since their first production back in the 1950s (note annoying fact-checkers: I totally just made that up, don't try to point out how that is wrong and then spout the real date. You should probably be advised that MOST of what I say is wrong! I say a lotta things! Who listens!?!?), they just keep re-gifting them to people -- much like the dreaded fruitcake.

Although, to be fair, that might have been my dad who told me that, and as I have found out in my later years -- much to my dismay and subsequent public humiliation - his reporting is RARELY accurate. For example, there was the time he told me that the price of gas corresponds directly to the distance your gas station is from Kansas City, Kansas in response to my simple question of "Why the Exxon on Post Street more expensive than the Exxon in Belgrade?" OR, the time he told me that I needed to stop at the gas station and ask the Mechanic (who was dreamy, FYI) to check my tires because they needed to have winter air put in to replace the summer air. In my defense, however, it TOTALLY made sense at the time!! Besides, WHY the hell would you lie about that?! And to your TEENAGE DAUGHTER!? For Shame!!

Someone should probably call child services. Is there a statute of limitations on that??


Sorry! I got off track....Liz, on the other hand, alleges that Peeps are awesome, but only in smores because the chocolate gets all melty and the sugar coating serves as an adhesive, adhering the marshmallow to the graham cracker so you don't end up with a big mess all over you.

First of all, I cannot comment on this authenticity as I have yet to successfully create a smore (I always eat the chocolate first while the marshmallow is cooking, and then eat the marshmallow immediately after I catch it on fire because I can't possibly wait the 48 seconds it takes for the flames to lightly toast it, so I stick it right down in there - AND, because who really wants a damn graham cracker? They fall squarely into the "not worth it" category. Wasted carbs I tell you!


Obviously, I was the winner of the Great Debate. (It's my blog; therefore, I get to choose the winner - take a wild guess whom I like better?)


And then, I arrived home to find my housekeeper left me this:

There is a large warning to Keep the OFF wipes "out of reach of children." Obviously, they need to expand their warning to include "Keep out of reach of Garlic." The worst part of this whole situation is that garlic was like $12!!!

How firm is the 5 second rule??