Monday, April 20, 2009

Easter III - Revenge of the Pyramids

Prepare yourself! Today was the third Easter. Obviously, You can't just sit home on the 3rd Easter! Sure, I mean, Easter I and II were okay, just kinda low-key, but Easter III is when Jesus was SERIOUS, this time he meant it. So you can't offend him, you have to DO something. Therefore, in keeping with the whole rise from the dead theme - I went to go see some mummies in the Pyramids. Although there are no mummies here, there ARE pyramids - about 120 of them (that is actually not an exaggeration, our tour guide told me this today during the part where I was listening, i.e. when we first got there.)

So the Pyramids are about 3 hours north of Khartoum. I took approximately 722 photos of which I will share 147 with you - I realize that you probably have other stuff going on, but this will just take a minute - sit down while I show you the slides of my mini-vacation! Apparently, some Italian guy came through here in the 1800s and used dynamite to get to the "treasure" in he F'd up a lot of them. Which is really really annoying for tourists!

You could actually see the stuff better than my camera took it. That is King Blah Blah, and he is allegedly cool because he has the little stick with date leaves on the top. The date leaves are apparently very importanty for some reason, but there was a fly that was really bugging me and I totally didn't get past the part where he told us about the date leaves - I do know that the queens that were buried had Cobras on their sticks. Why? Because chicks are totally cooler. DOOY.

The guy from the Ministry of Tourism was telling us something about the writing, but now I can't really see what it IS, so I have no idea. Basically, every tomb area had one wall where there was a pic of the King or Queen and then whatever God they liked best. The chicks tend to like the abababat, which kinda looked like a lion and the dudes like Anubis (whom we all know from the Mummy Movie because he is the guy with the head of a dog - so THAT part of the tour was waaay cool for me. Because I totally saw that movie.)

This was from Queen Fatty McBitchy - I did not make that up - well, he didn't say those words exactly, but he did say "the fat mean queen blah blah" (that everyone hated), but that clearly is not a I was helping him.

And this was the outside of Fatty's house.

This is what happens when you don't sweep out your pyramid - it fills up with dirt. Those little line indentation looking things are Cobras guarding the door. Apparently, Cobras are not good guards; therefore, they fill it up with dirt so you don't want to go inside.

This was some random guy I saw walking with a stick. I'm not sure where the hell he came from, or where he was going, but he really liked that stick.

This was the outhouse. I always like to show people where they are expected to potty. (I chose to hold it.)

This was my camel (whom I named Joe) that we rode to get to the pyramids once the road (open dirt) ended, and that guy pulling him I named Joe's Camel Puller.

This was some other guy going up to the pyramids. I named that camel George, so as not to be confused with Joe.

And then we stopped on the way back at this place along the Nile.
And this is allegedly the spot where the British ship that was trying to escape Khartoum to get back to Egypt was attacked by the Sudanese and everyone on it was killed. Apparently, if you are SUDANESE, this is a heroic, happy tale...if you are one of the whiteys on the trip, it's just awkward. Probably a lot like when the Japanese visit Pearl's just uncomfortable for everyone.
So I drank tea from the little guy by the side of the river and I even put my foot in the water - yes, I totally let nature touch me. I had to do it, there was so much nature on me from our hours at the pyramids, I needed to get some of it off of me.

And then our guide started telling us about the crocodile who was eating the animals and some, I put my shoes back on and went back to the car.
If you REALLY want to know what's in there, I suggest you google it. I can only pay attention so long!


blognut said...

Thank you for sharing this trip with me! I've really seen all I need to see now, so it was like a virtual vacation for me! You rock!

Anonymous said...

wow that is awesome! I love the camel photo although I think you would have had to pay me mucho buckos to get on that fucking thing because I just hate stinky animals - to touch and feel - they are pretty to look at- and don't they slobber?

I hate myself- I just realized I sounded like a valley girl- and I am not even close to being from the valley! AN ISLAND yes...a valley? NO.

Fragrant Liar said...

Hey, awesome tour. You should be a guide or work in an embassy or something. I do enjoy how you helped the guide with the names of things. Great pics too.

That Zombie Chicken Award smells awesome in your sidebar.

Michel said...

Blognut: That's why I do this, so you don't have to go places!!!! Sudan: check!

Mrs. K: Joe did not actually stink - and the whole place was dirty, so I didn't mind that part - what I did mind was the getting up and down..that shit was scary! Like, Totally scary enough to gag me with a spoon...

Fragrant: I pretty much suck at listening to stuff, so I just kinda make it up afterward!

And, THANK YOU for that award! It is soo cool get win stuff! I need to give about 4 of them out tomorrow - I've been bogart'n the awards.


bernthis said...

you and I were seperated at birth as that is exactly how I with the zero attn span would have gone about describing my trip.

well done

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

Your photos are wonderful and I can see the details. Nice to see inside the pyramid. I've been to the pyramids at Giza in Egypt (while visiting my mom Gaston Studio), but flipped out before I got 15 feet inside the narrow opening. Sent my husband in and kissed him goodbye in case he didn't come back out.
Your comments had me falling off the chair laughing. Joe's Camel Puller - too funny!
By the way, camels spit - they are disgusting creatures!
Thanks for stopping by the other day and your comment on my WW bracelet :).

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

That was me deleting the dumbest comment I've ever made and that's saying something.

What? No camel toe pictures?

Gaston Studio said...

Great that you were able to get out and have a little mini vacation but if you want to see some REAL pyramids, go to Giza and stop fooling around with that small stuff!

Seriously, don't you just love those hieroglyphics depicted on all the walls? LOL to the names you gave to the camels and the driver, and please keep your feet out of de Nile or next you know, you'll be complaining about how hard it is to find a crutch in Sudan!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Fab photos!! I love learning about new cultures, and men with sticks.

Scobberlotcher said...

Wow, those are incredible pictures. What an incredible experience.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, too, and offering input on the Funyuns issue. :) I don't know if I'm smart enough to stick around your blog, but I think I'll skate around here for a little while.

Hit 40 said...

A better post if the gator would have nipped you!!

Great pics! I was more impressed that you were able to insert the pics where ever the heck you wanted! More fascinating to me than how they built the darn pyramids.

There is another blogger that lives here in my town. I plan to stalk him in person this summer to interrogate him on pimping my blog if I don't get it all figured out.

As always... I turned the whole comment into something about me. How rude!!!

Suzy said...

Fabulous pics. Makes L.A. look like Indiana.

Hit 40 said...

Hi again...

Now remember you started it!!! Your tagged again and again!!! Check my blog.

Beth said...

Good God! Are you secretly working with the Travel Channel on the side? They allow that?

And probably the guy with the big stick was going to touch something with it. You know, so he could make fun of all those people who won't touch things with a 10 foot pole. He just wanted to show them up. I think thats how they roll in Sudan.

Michel said...

Bern: I am so thankful to know that there is someone else out there who is as shallow and who has the attention span of a three year old. Because those people truly appreciate my work!!!

Dee: Hi Jane's Daughter!! I DO so love that bracelet (you guys should check it out). YOU KNOW, in arabic culture, when someone says they love it, you GIVE it to that person..I'm just saying...hahaha

Susan: haha! I DID actually take a pic of the camel's toe, and was going to post it with some snarky comment, but I was afraid my mom would see it and lecture me about being a "lady."

Jane: I'm pretty much done with pyramids now. There was dirt, it was hot, there was dirt and old pictures....and it was hot..and there was dirt. fin

Michel said...

Mary: I really should have followed that guy...he probably did have something to poke. I love to poke stuff with sticks. GOOD THINKING!

Scobber: Thank you (i think). I'm just guessing you don't have to be brainy to read me!

Hit 40: ha! that took me 3 mos to figure out. Never gonna tell (probably because i think it is magic every time).

Suzy: Thanks!

Hit 40: NOOOOO!

Beth: I should actually demand that the travel channel pay me. I'm doing all their work FOR them...LAZY!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Thanks, Michel. Thank you so much for the tour. I'm so glad you're there. I would know nothing about Sudan if it weren't for you. Sometimes I think you were sent there just for me. To educate and enlighten me. To entertain and inspire me. Me, me, me. I'm sure this is all about me.