It's Okay, Everyone Remain Calm

So this morning, I received the following from my vet:

Dear Michel
"Jack" is currently being cared for here at Ashburn Veterinary Hospital, following a blood profile that showed elevated liver enzymes. Dr. xxxx is over seeing Jack's treatment. When Jack first came in today, he was presented with lack of appetite and vomiting. We took x-rays of his abdomen that showed normal kidney and liver size but did reveal thickening of the intestines. Jack is currently receiving IV fluids to address the level of dehydration he had reached, and will stay on fluids until tomorrow morning when Dr. xxxx will reassess his hydration levels and decide on further treatment options.

WTF! I received this at what would be midnight DC time...so it's not like I can call and say What does that MEAN!? Thickening of the intestines!? Now, if they were talking about ME, I'd accuse them of calling me fat - but I don't think they tiptoe around that crap with pets. Plus, who ends a note with tomorrow we will decide treatment options - without going into detail what that MEANS.

So, knowing me (as most of you do by now) you probably realize that this email was not well received... Nay, in fact, it put me into a small (read, huge) hissy fit. I went from Poods ate too much grass again, to the guy taking care of him left a big block of stinky cheese laying around and Poods got into that (because my boy LOVES his stinky stuff), to Poods has cancer and is going to die and I'm stuck in Khartoum.

Then I began to plot how to get back to the States. Clearly, I needed to go home - it was a medical emergency!

Normally, I would just tell them that my son "Jack" was admitted to the hospital in Ashburn with a life threatening illness and I needed to get home -- but (unfortunately) I am actually FRIENDS with my boss and he knows who (what) Jack is....So the old family emergency excuse is out!

ALTHOUGH, I would just like to state for the record that I think it is DISCRIMINATORY that the USG will allow you to go home if an immediate family member is critically ill or dying - but then limits the definition of family member - as not as my pet. You know, I was all in support of allowing "significant others" to be allowed to travel as dependents and to be recognized as "family" even though they couldn't legally marry!!! But where is the support for me?? The childless - bat shit crazy pet freak?? I SUPPORTED YOUR CAUSE!! Would it KILL YOU GUYS to support mine?!

Anyway, so today was pretty much a bust. (I did not solve the Sudan-Us Relations problem. I had other issues to attend to today....) I called the vet immediately upon their opening, only to be told that the "vet" doesn't come into work until like 2 (which is my 10 pm!) WTF! LAZY! Who was caring for my precious baby boy....PLUS, it simply prolonged my torture.

Now realizing that Jack was rescued by me at the tender age of 4 weeks off of the mean streets of Pakistan, and that he was raised EXCLUSIVELY by me until about age 5 when Josh came into his life (and they started their mutual hate relationship), and then he spent yet another 5 + years plotting how to separate me from Josh and Kernel - you would think that I would know that he just might be a tad bit on the dramatic side...have a flair for the overreaction, if you will...

But no! Didn't even cross my mind.

I called the vet tonight and was told that they do not think that there is anything systemically wrong with him. That he probably just ate something out on the farm where he is living.

So basically, Jack (much like his mommy) is just a pig and he ate so much, he made himself sick. Clearly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!! And also illustrates irrefutable PROOF that pets are FAMILY.