Saturday, May 2, 2009

Things I am Thankful For...

Okay, so I've been putting off (once again) being asked to do stuff... I know this may shock you - but my penchant for procrastination and laziness spills over from my work into my private life. (I KNOW! Nobody could have seen that coming. ) So I decided to (once again) do a half-assed job of responding - HOWEVER FOR THE RECORD, some of this is not my fault!!

CK Lunchbox asked me to post my top 10 Movie Stars (I can't recall if it was actors, actresses or movies...actually, I think it might be movies - the post was a while ago and there is obviously no way I could potentially figure this out (a) mostly because I don't care enough to do so; and (b) because I am clearly going to do what the hell I feel like ANYWAY because I have an inability to follow simple instructions....

AND

JB at Blackthoughts asked me to post 6 unimportant things that make me happy. Now as many of you are starting to get to know me, you probably have realized that I have a bit of a flare for drama and am a tad bit on this side of bat shit crazy. Therefore, ANYTHING involving me is - by extension - IMPORTANT!

One guy told my boss - in response to his comment that when I found out about this thing, he was going to have to peel me off the ceiling -- that the ceiling is my favorite place in the room. Normally, I would get all huffy and offended at that blatant insult; however, the man's got a point. It IS my favorite place. I DO love to storm off in a huff over some imagined slight.

I will also defend my right to exaggerate any story or situational event because it makes the story better. If I told you guys about Sudan as it REALLY happened (woke up, it was hot; got dressed, went to work, it was hot, worked, it was hot, came home, it was hot), you'd click the "next blog" button. (You'd regret it later once you realized that finding an english language blog is RARE.) That is why in the interest of full disclosure - I titled this stupid blog "Facts are Strictly Optional"... (In light of the above, Mother and Paul, you may stop sending me emails pointing out that you never said that, or that's not how it happened...beacause in my blog - that IS how it happened. Khalas!)

Anyway, in no particular order, my favorite movies and actors/actresses:

-- LayerCake with Daniel Craig (my God that man is dreamy!) I can't even really remember what it was about, but I remember liking the movie - drugs or something. I'm not sure. He has his shirt off in this movie. Therefore, it IS worth your time! And Liz, you can totally stop pointing out how Daniel is too short for me and, therefore, better suited for you; we're dating now. It's deep and lasting. Of course he is not going to publically acknowledge that -- he values his privacy. He's considering moving to Sudan you know. He'll be here Friday.

-- Anchorman with Will Ferrell. Has so many quotes I use in my daily life. Why just the other night at the Dutch National Day, I told Paul, "You know, we've been coming to this same party for the last 12 years -- and in no way is that depressing." LOVE IT!

-- Emma - with that one guy whose name I can't remember. ..Mr. Knightly. I'm not sure WHY I love this movie..I just kinda do. It's my list! BACK OFF!

-- Superbad - with Seth what's his name. SO FUNNY. Josh and I did the Muddy Buddy relay race in Richmond last year with Liz and Dan; and we named ourselves team McLovins (it fits with our last name - if you knew it, you would think it was soo cute and witty; but you don't...so just trust me here!) Even made t-shirts.

-- Twilight with that guy who plays Edward. Please don't point out that the movie honks. I KNOW IT DOES. But I am obsessed with this shit and I can't seem to stop it. Believe me, I've considered breaking up with Daniel Craig for Edward, but he's only 17 and I think that might be illegal on some States -- although we COULD move to Montana...hmmm.... BACK OFF LIZ!

-- Young Frankenstein - with Mel Brooks. That shit is just funny and it NEVER gets old.

How many is this?? I grow weary of this list.


Okay, finally (are you still here? I won't blame you if you are not, I'm barely paying attention at this point!)

6 Things I am thankful for....

-- I am thankful that there are no spiders (that I have seen so far - and would appreciate it if you didn't point out any that are native to this place!) here in Khartoum. Blognut's last post just made me realize that I really DO have something to be thankful about here!!!

-- I am thankful that I have a Penny to send me boxes filled with cake mixes! which brings me to my next one:

- I am thankful that Josh is not here! Now I know that sounds bad, but consider my point if you would. When Josh is around, he doesn't understand my undying love for cake and all things cookie. Therefore, if I make a cake, I need to carefully consider my intake - for fear that he will bust out the horrified look (that frankly, is not limited to Josh. Liz, minoy and I have been the frequent receipients of horrified looks when confronted with our ability to consume cake). So in order to AVOID this situation, I try to hide how much I have eaten, but then realize that you CANNOT do that, so then I just FINISH IT - making myself SICK in the process and then being forced to come up with this elaborate story - complete with manufactured evidence - of a crime spree in Ashburn, resulting in a break in of our house by some local homeless person. He stole our cake (and $20 out of Josh's wallet).

DO YOU SEE? I have good reason to be thankful.

- I am thankful that I have a job from which I pretty much cannot be fired because I've worked here so many years now that it is easier for them to just wait me out now. USG will always take the path of least resistance.

- I am thankful that I was given the honor of being duty officer on the ONE WEEKEND where the government of Sudan issues a formal order that ALL ANIMALS coming into Sudan will be killed in order to stop the spread of Swine flu to Sudan -- WITHOUT notifying the airlines of this....so when the damn American arrives in country with their precious kitty, Fluffy - all hell breaks lose. (Nobody panic - Fluffy and the owner are on their way back home...where they belong. Lesson to be learned here: do not try to help others and volunteer your time. It can only end in me having to do more work....)

Okay, clearly that last one freed up my inner sarcasm.... So, I'll just stop my list now.

AND, I'm NOT going to tag 6 people because I don't think it is right to give homework over a weekend. I'm just a good person like that.....

27 comments:

Gaston Studio said...

So agree with you about Mel Brooks' Frankenstein; that man was funny!

I think you should ditch Craig and take up with Edward as long as you're in Sudan (because they don't care anyway) then you can switch back to Craig when you return stateside, you'd become a real switch-hitter than and be admired by all who aren't as gutsy as you.

And I totally agree with you about finishing cake; why leave evidence?

I promise I will not tell you about the huge, I mean HUGE spiders that invaded my office in Cairo... and the fact that no one knew where they relocated after they left to terrorize someone else.

Hit 40 said...

I'll be back... it is music lesson time. Then, I will fully critique your thought of the day.

Oh gosh... Adam just bent over to have me look at his butt for rash progress!!! REALLY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT WORSE IN SUDAN!!!!

I left you a love note over at Darsens? I am sure I spelled that wrong. She will be linked up tomorrow!!! I have some thoughts for her.

Michel said...

Jane: you are BRILLIANT!! i WILL break up with Daniel and date the 17 year old vampire for my 2 years here. It will of course, break daniel's heart, but he will be okay.

And DAMNITT. You know those spiders are on there way here. I was suspicious that I had not seen one; it was only a matter of time. they were simply doing reconaissance before the actual infiltration.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I don't believe I've seen any of the movies you listed but I think we can still be friends because the only thing in the world that equals your love of cake is my love of cookies.

Michel said...

hit 40; oh it is GAME ON lady...! You forget - I do not have such mundane distractions as music lessons or TV...GAME ON!

SMB: I am frequently torn b/w my two loves: cake and cookies. Both have their merits. Cookies are more portable, cake has more frosting. We can be friends as long as you never ask me to share.

Because then you will most certainly pull back a bloody stump.

darsden said...

You not naming 6 people cuz YOU don't know 6 people lets just get that out first.

YOU mean people actually fly to Sudan..thought they were just sent there as punishment!!

Of course LayerCake would be your first choice! CAKE CAKE CAKE what is it with you!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

That policy is just plain dumb - the virus can already spread from human to human - there is no point in focusing on the animals anymore. What was up with Egypt slaughtering its pigs, anyway? Have none of those officials taken basic science? Or were they just using it as an excuse to get rid of the dirty swine belonging to their resident infidels?

Beth said...

Have you ever considered that your love of cake is ruining your life? Perhaps you need therapy.

Seriously, Anchor Man rocks! I noticed you didn't list Dodge Ball, one of my favorites.

Dedene said...

Oh brilliant! I would have loved seeing the hissy fits in the airport.
Your love of cake is normal and healthy. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Hit 40 said...

I've seen superbad. I consider it part of my job to know the kids lingo. It was cute. So... I can follow McLovin jokes. I try to catch a little of whatever they are watching because... if I don't they can have a ton of fun when your not in the loop.

Maybe you should have kids... you can then blame the missing cake on them!!

And where the hell is Josh again??? I am still blown away that he does not need a booty call & is going on some crazy mountain climbing thing instead of trip to see the honey??? Cancel his subscription to penthouse!!

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

You? Exaggerate? No way! I don't believe it! Oh and spiders?! I HATE HATE HATE spiders!

I have something for ya! Just noticed its a duplicate but come on over and pick it up anyway! =)

tera said...

Ok...so here's my most important question of the day:
What if Daniel Craig said he hates cake and won't even touch a cookie but has 3 pet tarantulas?

blognut said...

Ok, I've forgotten your entire post now because of tera's comment. That's the most upsetting thing in the world to me, and I'm quite sure you're going to be even more upset than I was. Tera! What were you thinking?

♥ Braja said...

All I saw was "batshit crazy" and that you wouldn't make me do homework, and i felt safe....
:))
xx

otin said...

Hit 40 told me to come by and say hello. I had to laugh at your frustration with people tagging you for stuff, it really is like a job! LOL!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

So glad the kitty was saved. That would have sucked had it been subjected to the firing squad...

Michel said...

I had planned to comment on all your comments, but now Tera has me so upset by her blasphemy that I'm SPEECHLESS! Utterly speechless.

I'm not even sure what to do now.....

Mrs. K said...

well i can't comment too much 'cause im in the bathroom. sorry.

hee hee shut up- you know you do it too.

Deb said...

oh how i adore storming off in a huff! it's one of my favorite pastimes. and i am really good at it, too!

Beth said...

It is strange to think that their are people out there who don't like cake. One of my step-daughters won't eat cake. I don't trust her.

Beth said...

Oh, I know this is mean, but I left you an award. I can be cruel like that. Muwhahhah!

marathoner81 said...

Superbad was super funny...it made me pee my pants (just a little) a couple of times.

Char said...

If I were closer, I would so make you a cake. But you would have to make up your own damn lies about how it disappeared. I just couldn't be involved in your blatent deception.

Kathy B! said...

How is that even your lists are funny?!

And yes, the Twilight movie honks. I just watched it last night and I was appaled. Good things they threw in the eye candy!

amy said...

Aren't you glad I never ask anything of you? ;)

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