Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Downside to "Vacation"

Okay, so remember how I was all excited because I had so much fun on my "vacation" to Port Sudan? Remember that? Remember how I had all these cool fun-tab-ulous pics of exotic things I saw and did?? Remember that?

Well, as it turns out, I was supposed to be WORKING while I was down know, for the Embassy -- representing our country. (I know! I totally forget that's why I'm here sometimes too!!!) I, however, contend that if they wanted me to WORK, they should have:

(a) been more specific in their guidance other than just saying, "We need you to go to Port Sudan next week";

(b) they should have told me that I was supposed to LISTEN to the people when they were blathering on about relations between our countries and that I would be required to write up what they said upon my return; and

(c) they really should not have let me travel with Christina - and perhaps they should have told her the above too...

I submit to you that this whole fiasco could have been avoided!!!! I'm the VICTIM HERE!

Okay, so after today I have learned yet another valuable lesson about travel within Sudan: Don't do it! IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

Why, you ask?? Why am I now going to take active measures to avoid leaving Khartoum in any way, shape or form for any extended period of time??

Because when you are not here to defend yourself with blatant lies about how busy you are and how you couldn't possibly help out on this or that - PEOPLE VOLUNTEER YOU FOR SHIT!

God I hate those people!!

I bet you were not aware that international diplomacy was such a cut-throat business! That colleagues will turn on you at the drop of a hat. That looking out for your fellow man has gone the way of leaded gasoline and littering without fear!!

So while I was out "working," I was signed up to be a "sponsor" for an incoming officer. An officer who will arrive here at some point (I didn't read all the way to the end! I was busy trying to remember what the hell I did in Port Sudan other than learning that "Sharmuta" is Arabic for Whore! I KNOW! How cool is that word!?) - and will work at USAID!

GASP! I know!! A do-gooder!!! Someone who apparently LIKES people and wants to HELP them....WTF!?

We clearly have NOTHING in common!

I have no idea what I am supposed to say to this person - and, I didn't actually pay attention when they briefed me on the rules and regulations and stuff....what you're supposed to bring, do upon arrival, etc. I just figured someone would tell me. Plus, I'm a big (read HUGE) fan of pleading ignorance and apologizing. You'd be amazed how much you can get away with in life utilizing those two key ingredients. Shit! Guaranteed this guy is going to totally hate me within a week. And, you know who is going to suffer because of this travesty of justice, don't you??

The poor Sudanese! (likely because I will give him incorrect information! It's like I always say, If you don't know it...make it up!)

Obviously, I am never leaving Khartoum again!!! (Well, until next month when I go to South Sudan...)


tera said...

Working. Shirking. Smirking. Funny how they all rhyme. And typically all get you in trouble.
Hmmm...I think there is a conspiracy afoot!

darsden said...

Damn woman...when is it Not all about what if this is your work for us dammit Michel! LOL (so exactly how long before you Khartoum gig is up and you have to come back to the real world Oh, yes I need to know this because I want to meet your plane)
I new you weren't working and enjoying the the expense of your blonde headed freind and OUR COUNTRY!!! I think it is hilarious you will be playing an officer and a gentleman...rotflmao only at the expense of your poor officer he will be playing both roles. Man he doesn't know what shit is instore for him...poor dude in a foreign country with love, our of country, and then YOU!

marathoner81 said...

Why in the hell would they want you to work on your vacation? Sounds kind of rude to me.

blognut said...

I hear ya'! I'm excited to be going on vacation in a couple of weeks, but I know that these assholes here at work will pile my desk with all manner of craptastic fun!

I will return to find myself in charge of everything that no one else wants to do, including Chairperson of the Employee Holiday Party Committee.

I'm still going to go, but I know I'll have to come back with a plan to get all of these little bastards!

Deb said...

so is this like the big brother/bis sister program? are you going to be like a mentor to this poor sucker?

Gaston Studio said...

God, I'd forgotten what it's like to work in an office with all the back stabbing, cheating, lying not to mention the gossip that goes on when you're out of sight!

I can see how the pleading ignorance and apologizing part can really come in handy, so you can always tell the new officer that you were out of town when it all came down. Someone dropped the ball, at your expense!

P.S. I love that word, sharmuta.

Hit 40 said...

Is the new guy any fun like my student teacher? I love my student teacher!!! He is good looking, hard worker, and funny.

Hell... he does my job for me!!! Train this sucker to do your job!!! Newbies do not know any better. This could be some real fun.

Let your hubby know about the new younger man in your life :-)

Pastor Sharon said...

What were they thinking? Doing that stuff to you while you were away with a gray headed woman, unable to defend yourself. I'm thinking you should teach this man you are about to "mentor" to blog! After you teach him a thing or two, he could be almost. . .as funny and the material would be off the chain.

♥ Braja said...

Yep, rude.....RUDE!!

Captain Dumbass said...

Teach him to pronounce Sharmuta properly. I think that's a good place to start.

Beth said...

It is obvious the people you work with don't really know you or they wouldn't have signed you up to be a do-gooder. Why don't you take this guy to the Nile and encourage him to drink up?

Also, you could teach him to touch all the nature he possibly can.

Oh, and how about him taking off his shoes and going barefoot on the roads since there are no sidewalks?

Kathy B! said...

Be careful of the un-announced do-gooders... that's all. I'm just sayin' I've gotten hosed there before...

Michel said...

Tera: A conspiracy you say?? You might just be onto something!!!

Darsden: Of course it is about me. DOOY! And I don't think I want you meeting my plane - I'd end up on some list!

M81: I KNOW! RIGHT!? They should really specify in advance if they don't want me to vacation. We could have avoided this whole messy event!!!

Blognut: OMG not the Holiday party committee. That is like the kiss of death. Not only is it a hideous job - everyone feels that they can give you their opinion! UGGH!

Deb: Shit! I hope not! I intend to just make sure there is milk/coffee/bread in his house when he arrives and call it a day. I'm not going to actually have to TALK to you think?? They wouldn't be THAT cruel!?

Jane: know this one? It is equally fun.

Hit40: Hmmm. You raise a valuable point - he actually COULD be dreamy. I should really think about this - however, please refer back to where I said he worked for USAID. It has been my experience that this is not the case. I simply cannot risk it. What if he is all preachy and friendly?? I might have to SPEAK to him more than once.

Pastor Sharon: Teach someone!? What I SHOULD do is....oh, umm...nevermind. Tell God I said What up, and I'm doing better. Although I'm not sure why he felt he needed to send someone to monitor the blog - I DID say I was going to try to be a better person. He should at least give me a minute to get started!!! It's kinda rude!

Braja: One MIGHT question their upbringing!

CD: I should teach him all the appropriate words, although SOMETIMES i get their meanings mixed up. I'm just saying. Accidents happen.

Beth: It IS obvious! Your suggestions have merit. I will draft him my first email today.

Kathy: Oh, I am! you are absolutely right! Nothing good comes of a do-gooder. Plus, they never think I'm funny.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I HATE it when they expect you to pay attention to intruction.

Pastor Sharon said...

LMAO. . . wait does A stand for, can I actually say that? You have got me laughing so hard. I truly hope you are okay with me reading your blog. God actually has someone monitoring me now because I am reading it. . . seems I'm laughing much more now and He wants to know "what's so funny?"