Monday, May 25, 2009

AT LAST!!!!

Okay, so you know how I'm always looking for some reason to sue - anyone, I'm not discriminatory when it comes to class action lawsuits, I accept all kinds of wrong doings -- well, let me tell you my friends. I have just hit the mother lode!!!

I'm pretty much going to OWN the USG! (Although I might have to split it with the others who live on this housing compound, and that is unfortunate - for them.)

Now I can stop documenting the instances of sexual harrassment in the workplace -- and believe me, there were plenty. Why just the other morning I walked into the Embassy and that SAME GUY who harrasses me at Post One did it again! He said, (and I quote here so you can get the real story of the trauma I suffer on a daily basis..) "Hello. Good Morning ma'am."

I KNOW!!! RIGHT!?!?

HOW DARE HE! This is an unspeakable outrage!! Naturally, I have kept a running tally on such indicents as the aforementioned...and I was waiting for one more fat comment from Paul before I filed my hostile workplace complaint.

But now...now that stupid "shit people said to me" file is old news!! WHY? because I've got ASBESTOS in my ceiling!!

I just received an email from the housing people that they are required by law to notify me that they have found asbestos in my ceiling (they technically found it 3 mos ago, but apparently are very slow typers). However, the rocket scientists in Washington think it is fine because they do not think it is the airborne kind.

WTF!?

Then of course, in big bold letters it lists how much asbestos is LEGAL to have in the workplace, but then notes that although it may be LEGAL, it is not necessarily Safe...there is no safe level of asbestos.

So, what does this mean to me? It means I likely have mesothelioma - I'm totally googling the symptoms right now so that I can catalog the exact dates/times I start to experience these symptoms and can, therefore, put a price on my angst.

I'm thinking 12.5 million...because it's in my HOUSE...and because they intimated that it would be too expensive to fly someone to get it out of my ceiling and therefore, I should just live with it. Okay, well, technically they DIDN'T say that, but they did respond that they could not do it themselves, they would have to fly someone out - so I had to write back and say, THEN FLY SOMEONE OUT .

I say again, WTF!?

One of you guys who has TV, please write down that number of the lawfirm that wants you to call if you think you might have mesothelioma.

I am almost positive I do. I could totally list my symptoms right after I google what they are...

26 comments:

darsden said...

1 800 whine me....

this from the woman who was dying from chocolate cancer...LOL

y don't you just move ?

actually smile at mr. nice sexual harrassment ...he won't ever speak to you again..LOL

you are 2 funny

Michel said...

darsden, I said I would be nice to you today - technically it is 8 minutes into TUESDAY where I live - therefore, you're on notice missy!

Michel said...

I only said I would be nice because I knew there was only 20 minutes left to be nice to you.

otin said...

sounds like a job for Erin Brokovich! Thats all I'm writing, been drinking beer! LOL!

Fragrant Liar said...

Holy bejeezus and WTF, Over! You better buy an asbestos mask until they can get that shit removed from your house. It'll go great with all your capris and your jammies. I can see you vacuuming in your heels and mask, a la Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.

That's totally unsafe, my Sudanese Smartaleck.

lisa said...

I heard you can legally smoke pot to help with your metho symptoms. So it's a win-win situation. A fabulous lawsuit and a good high. :)

Hit 40 said...

Take a pic for us. I am curious what it looks like... is it compact or loose?? sounds like a bad stool!! LMAO!!

But... really a pic for us!!!

Hit 40 said...

Damn I crack myself up. I am laughing so hard my eyes are watering. REALLY!! NO SHIT!!

Hit 40 said...

No shit - stool!!! Even funnier!!!

lakeviewer said...

I just want to know where your tour goes. I want to be there sitting in the front row.

blognut said...

No way! I will send you facemasks and rubber gloves immediately!!! We can't have you coming down with mesothelioma! I'm going to go watch TV and write down that number for you the second I see it.

You do know that if you win 12.5 million in your class action lawsuit, your attorney gets 12.4 of it? And you pay the taxes, and come out with about $.35. What can you get for that in Sudan?

blognut said...

What's it like to go to sleep at night while looking up at a ceiling that you know is trying to kill you?!

Char said...

haha, Blognut, Michel is probably now going to sue you for all that insomnia that's sure to come from your question.

marathoner81 said...

So if you sue and win 12.5 million will you fly me out to Sudan so someone can tell me how much the worship my dark hair and chubby body??? I just want to hear it once, please??? I'll bring chocolate.

Beth said...

I say it is time to pull out the Little Debbie snack cakes.

BTW - Did you happen to eat paint chips from the window sill when you were a child?

Vodka Mom said...

okay, has Hit 40 been drinking again? Christ, I can't leave you two alone FOR A MINUTE.

Hit 40 said...

Gosh... I would have to say from our comments. We are a bunch of selfish bastards who care very little about your asbestos issues!!!

CarrieAnn said...

If only I could get sexually harrassed like that...

Lyndsay said...

I SHIT YOU NOT ... the commercial just came on.

got your pen?

It is 888.811.MESO ... however, it looks like you had to have contracted it before 1995.

You are screwed.

♥ Braja said...

Yeah I think you're screwed.

Can you go return to being sexually harrassed?

Gaston Studio said...

OK, I'm going to get all serious on you. They surely know that the safest way to handle asbestos is to CONTAIN it... not REMOVE it. If I know this, why doesn't the damn USG??!! It also doesn't cost nearly as much as removal and is totally safe after being contained... and tell them to get their ass in gear; this is not a joke.

But if you do decide to sue, go for a helluva lot more than 12.5; are you crazy? You have to think in terms of hundreds of millions!!

Kathy B! said...

I'm thinking the sexual harassment is the better choice here! Asbestos can be scary...

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

Are you sure these folks aren't bullshitting you? I thought mesothelioma was a geological period. On a serious note, if you find you do have it - take these simple steps.
Get sick.
File lawsuit (I'd add $150 on your estimate for sheer fun).
Burn down office with slow typers in it.
Get away with it on diminished responsibility.
Spend money on hats and shoes and chocolate.

Love the blog, will be back to visit.

Suzy said...

California has popcorn ceilings all over the place, and they are all asbestos. I might be dead as I write this.

Michel said...

Okay, I waited too long to post smart ass comments and now am overwhelmed:

However, I gotta back mad aunt Bernard, mostly because I'm scared he/she might be crazy and turn my skin into a dress (if she says It puts the lotion on itself, i'm outta here!) but she posted some very valuable options for me.

Believe me, I jest, but I've created a shit storm out here with other residents. They have now taken up my cause and now I just sit back and wait for the cash.

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

Go girl! Enjoy your shitstorm - crack open a beer, light your pipe and admire your handiwork...