It's About Time....

I just realized that I haven't humiliated my husband lately...I've been remiss in my duties.

As many of you may know, Josh and I have a love-hate relationship with this blog; I love it, and he hates it. (Although I cannot imagine WHY..what's not to love? I mean, COME ON!)

He hates that people he doesn't know now know about his shit. What I keep trying to explain to him is that nobody but he and Liz' hubby, Dan care about his shit....because his shit is all about the gear.

(So help me God, if I hear about that damn sleeping bag one more time...)

Anyway, so Josh is back from his brokeback-packing adventure in Alaska. He and Dan had a great time and then he spent a week with his family (Hi guys!) before returning to Iraq. Naturally, I had no idea he returned to Iraq. In fact, there was an awkward phone call via skype where I asked his dad if Josh was there, and after an extended silence where I was forced to check to see if I had mistakenly called Ann Taylor again, was told, "Ummm...no. He left. Don't you speak to him?!"

I totally saved that conversation though. I told him, "HA! Yes, I was just checking to make sure I was still married...." (It is probably quite likely that Josh's parents want to have me committed. If you don't hear from me for a while, someone please check the Minnesota Mental Institutions....)

Truth is, I DO speak to him... I speak to him all the time...but as it turns out, I do not actually LISTEN to him. And this (apparently) is where I need to focus my efforts in general.

However, in my defense, it is HARD to do so when you are talking to someone via Skype, so you're already online - and then I am all bogged down because I am behind on my commenting on other peoples' blogs (because how will you know what I think if I don't tell you?!) and so I'm attempting to multi-task while I'm talking to him - PLUS, he was likely talking about the gear and how cool it was to have a sleeping bag custom made for you and then some blah blah blah blah....but then Beth was talking about how she ate too many Fiber One Pop Tarts - and I'm all "Pop tarts are fiberey??" So then I had to explain how fiber and pop tarts were applicable to Alaska and his ice axe (which was quite the feat, let me tell you) but once that was over - I totally had to look up pop tarts to see if they had frosting on them but were still fiber because how F'in yummy would that shit be -- and how the hell could I get it out here in Sudan..... I mean, you see my point, right?!? I got a lotta shit goin on!

Okay, so maybe I'm not such a good listener.

HOWEVER, I'm an equal opportunity non-listener. Why just tonight I was talking to some Ambassador at the Yemeni National Day and I not only do not know his name, or what Embassy he was from....I'm pretty sure he thinks I have Tourette's Syndrome because I can't seem to control myself anymore with my Arabic. Tonight, someone said, "Wa'llahi" and I totally perked up and then repeated it - all proud of myself! (because I KNOW that one!!) Everyone stopped and stared at me. A few laughed, but it was the nervous "I'm kinda scared she might kill me and then use my skin to make a lamp shade" kinda laugh... One guy even turned and walked away.

So once again I have humiliated the US of A. On the bright side, however, nobody accused us of being an oppressive colonizer!

I'm totally making progress you guys!!! You are welcome!!!