When Scotch Goes Bad....

Last night Josh and I went out to dinner with Minoy and her husband Theo, and Liz and her husband Dan at Clydes in Ashburn. I was super excited to go because I FINALLY read the book that is all the buzz these days...Twilight! Previously, I didn't understand what all the hype was about, thought it sounded stupid even....I mean, it was about vampires! How lame is that!?! And, it's a book for TEENS for heaven's sake.

But then Grace loaned it to me and told me that I HAD to read it. I was going to scoff in her face, but then I remembered that everyone has been talking about it. All this blather about Edward and Bella, and I had no idea what they were talking about!! Worst of all, I could not spout my opinion about it!! I gotta tell you though, I really liked it! It was a fab read. WHO KNEW!?

So imagine my disappointment when I get to the restaurant -- all set to start my spouting -- and stupid Minoy and Liz have NOT READ IT! WTF!? What we ended up talking about was the woman who just had octuplets after she already had 6 (was it 6?) kids at home!!! Unfortunately, as all three of us pretty much get our news from the Daily Show or the internet, nobody had the full story and most of our comments were absolutely made up (Note, I can't remember who said what - I was on the martini!!):

Minoy: She has 14 kids! 8 this last time and 6 before that?

Dan: I'll have a Black label, rocks

Josh: She had all 6 kids at once?

Theo: Where would you even PUT all those kids?? WHY would you want them? HOW could you pay for them? WHERE THE HELL WOULD YOU PUT THEM ALL??

Dan: Make it a double!

Me: She could have had two sets of triplets AND, I heard she's a single mom - getting assistance from the state.

Minoy: She's single? NO! I heard she was just poor. OR, it could have been three sets of twins, or one triplet, one twin and one singleton. . . . LIZ?

Liz: Just because I had twins doesn't mean I am an expert on all issues involving multiple births.

WHAT? Of course you are Liz!! As Minoy and I do not have kids, we rely on Liz' experience with twins and a singleton kid (and, as they have not died of neglect yet) - she MUST know this stuff.

However, all was not lost. Last night, Josh illustrated that he has learned to self-correct! When he would throw out some statement that would normally earn him the look, he looked at me and immediately followed it with, "That is NOT right! We have talked about this before many times! We do NOT talk like that!!" That said, when we got home last night, Josh claimed that his tummy hurt and he didn't feel too good. When I pointed out that he had consumed about five glasses of Scotch, he claimed, "the scotch must have gone bad."

Yes, it went bad likely because it was old. It was waaaay past its sell by date. That is EXACTLY what happened. There is no other plausible explanation for not feeling well after 5 scotch rocks with dinner. What is this world coming to when you cannot even order drinks without fearing for your safety!?

Speaking of food (which I usually am) - I just have to throw this out: TAPAS Restaurants PISS ME OFF!!!

Come on!! What the hell is that?! and WHY is it so trendy?! I HATE tapas. Not that the food is bad - it's pretty good actually, but there is NEVER enough!! You can't make a full sized plate of food?!?!?! What really sucks is when you go with a group of people...you get to take like one tiny piece of something and then you have to pass it on....and you feel guilty because the plate is so tiny, so you take this little wee portion and then pray that something else arrives soon. THEN, after like 40 minutes of eating about 7 forkfuls (some not even FULL) of food...you're DONE!? To add insult to injury, they charge you a fortune for it. Like $8 for each little mini-plate. WTF!

Usually when we leave any Tapas restaurant, I beg Josh to stop at Taco Bell so I can actually get something to eat.

Taco Bell: 89 cents worth of dreams fulfilled!!!