Saturday, January 10, 2009

Food Court Drama

Okay, so last night we had Minoy and Liz over for dinner. Dad made totally yummy lasagna! However, I then caught him red handed giving Kernel Beef Jerky instead of the dog treats. When I called him on it, he explained that "Kernel likes it better." Yes, Daddy...and I like Pie better than veggies, but that doesn't mean that I should be given pie. Please see Tina for further clarification!

Everything was going swimmingly, until we figured out that Josh and I previously decided to throw out the extra stools (because they didn't match!! I didn't want to be THOSE people in our stepford community!! I am already lacking here: I am not a Redskin's wife, I do not have fake boobs and a perpetual tan, and I have to work in order to heat our house and keep Kernel in Beef Jerky) so poor Dad had to sit in a camp chair with a TV tray -- how ghetto is that!?

My parents took approximately 438 pictures in order to get just the right one of Liz, Minoy and I. We were all relieved when mom finally said, "THERE! that's perfect!" and put the camera down. Naturally, being skeptical of my ability to photograph well under any circumstances but in black clothing and in black light, I took a look at the pic.
Apparently, my mother thinks that the photo of me with a SIDE NECK ROLL is the most flattering picture that could ever be taken!! I'm not even sure how I managed to get a neck roll on the side of my neck. It not under the chin (the usual suspect); rather, twas below my ear and above my shoulder. Clearly, I had to work at being that distorted to create that effect. I truly have a gift.
Luckily, my parents live in rural Washington State and still rely on Dial up. Therefore, there is a snowballs chance in hell that those photos will end up online to humiliate me. And for that, I am truly thankful.
And, I have just one minor complaint to lodge. (Its clearly not an entry if I'm not bitching about something.) This afternoon, Liz and I went to the mall because every store in the mall has almost 70% off their stuff (how cool is that?!?!). Little known fact though: if you buy 10 items, it STILL turns out to be expensive??? I will NEVER understand math!!
However, Liz and I are minding our own business, headed to the food court for lunch, and some family is having a HUGE birthday party for what appeared to be 72 children. Okay, (A) Who has a birthday party in a mall food court??; and (B) a MALL FOOD COURT?? (it had to be said twice because WHAT!?) If I were that kid, I'd be totally pissed. Not only were OTHER (read non-invited) kids running around in and out of their "party," but, more alarmingly, Liz and I were shamelessly staring, and sitting right smack in the middle of it!!!

So then! The mother brought out the birthday cake -- which brought any and all conversation between Liz and I to an immediate halt!! Naturally, we were enthralled and then immediately offended. We'd been staring (and sitting in) that birthday party for 10s of minutes and they couldn't even offer us a piece of cake?? SELFISH! Everybody knows if you're going to have birthday cake, you'd better bring enough for the whole food court!! HATEFUL!

Now I want cake. However, in the interest of avoiding another side-neck roll incident, I will abstain.

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