Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tonight, I'm Tired....

Therefore, I'm simply going to post something my dear friend Liz sent me. She is always charming.

Enjoy!

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

-- A half-gallon of 2% milk
-- A carton of eggs
-- A quart of orange juice
-- A head of lettuce
-- A 2 lb. can of coffee
-- A 1 lb. package of bacon


As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.' I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

23 comments:

darsden said...

Bawhahahahahahaha and that was mean.. hope he runs out of drinks!

Middle Aged Woman said...

Is your friend really ugly? If she is, I don't think it was very nice of you to post this. If she's actually pretty, than it sounds like you two are ganging up on ugly people. Either way, I need a drink.

Comedy Goddess said...

OMG, that is horrible! Can it be true??

Go visit The Peach Tart. You can access from my blog. She has some desserts that will make you cry out, I'll have what she's having!

Self torture is the new black.

Suzy said...

A drunk was driving down the freeway here in LA, just in time to see my sister's car roll over and over down a cliff. He stopped his car on the freeway and started weaving towards her. When he got within hearing distance he said, "WOW, that was awesome."

Amanda said...

It's one of those internet forward jokes. I've seen it posted all over.

HA ha ha. Joke...

lakeviewer said...

Michel, you got to stop picking up derelicts in these places. He knew little English; and what he knew he misapplied.

blognut said...

What's this about being tired? I mean, I totally knew you were lazy and all, but tired? From sitting around all day? Doing nothing?

Oh, please. I think it's called 'the nods' and it comes from all that drinking and drugging you're doing over there. Seek help, my friend. Seek help.

Lori said...

OUCH! hahahahahahah. made me smile, which is quite the feat at 5:48 in the afternoon. :)

tera said...

Ah ha ha! I love that one!

Oh, and p.s. - I left you something on my blog.
Go there.
Now.
:)

loveandbooze said...

Never heard that one before. VERY funny!

She said...

Hilarious! ;-)

A Mom on Spin said...

cute. . .very cute. . . or perhaps, ugly. . .very, very, ugly. . .

otin said...

HAHAHA!!!! Poor little ugly girl!

Captain Dumbass said...

I'd like to say I didn't laugh at that, but I did.

♥ Braja said...

Love it :)
Oh yeah and photo is coming....right now!!

Kelly's Ideas said...

very funny! I was trying to figure out what she bought that said she was single.
Love,
kelly

CK Lunchbox said...

It doesn't work real good as a line at the bar either... just saying.

Amy said...

Funny! Hope it was a joke or at least hope the girl wasn't really that bad! Probably the guy had bad eyes, cause you know, you see all kinds of weird things when your drunk.

Gaston Studio said...

How horribly funny! What is it with drunks anyway, that they think they have the right to say whatever they're thinking.

Medora said...

Booze makes one brutally honest, and usually cross eyed, too. I used to have drunks downtown (while I was at work in the public library) offer me money for sex, and I'd tell them to wait a moment while I called down to security and ask the police officer if what he was offering was a fair rate for the specific act he requested. They always stood there and waited while I called the cop to come and get them. Duh.

♥ Braja said...

Holy shit, I just read Middle Aged Woman's comment.

♥ Braja said...

Wait a minute....NOW I know what you're up to: the comments score was low on this post, so you're just tryin' to get everyone to come BACK here and have a look.

Oh well done. Bloody marvellously clever. Good girl. Proud of you....
xoxoxo

Pastor Sharon said...

Well, I was so busy yesterday. . . all side tracked and out of sorts so I didn't read your lovely post here!

This is terribly funny!

Braja has a great point here!