Monday, September 21, 2009

It's Almost That Time of Year!!!

It's almost Halloween!! I truly heart Halloween. Not even the month of scary movies with gory shit that freaks me out on TV can put me off this most sacred of candy giving out holidays!! (Plus, I don't have TV here, so it is even better this year!!) AND, if that wasn't enough to reel you into naming it the BESTEST HOLIDAY EVER, they also add in the extra bonus of someone always throws a kick-ass Halloween party where you are allowed to dress up like an idiot, get all drunk and obnoxious, and then claim it wasn't you because you were in the Cinderella costume because you're a gentle princess, not the drunken Cupid with the bow and arrows -- I mean, that would totally be immature and unprofessional! Although I totally am both of those, you obviously must have mixed me up with someone else. Someone that looks like me, but is not me. You know, that other guy -- DOOY!

Anyway, the Embassy here is going to throw a Halloween Party and they are having a costume party! And even though, I never speak to anyone in the Embassy unless I absolutely have to and/or I need something, I really think I can win this -- but obviously, it is not going to be on looks and charm. Therefore, this is why I need you guys! I need suggestions!!

Now before you guys (Otin) start throwing out things like "slutty nurse, slutty waitress, or slutty target checkout girl - please note that I am officially too old to pull off slutty -- and, dare I say it?? Perhaps a bit too chubby. Chubby slutty = desperate and lonely. Josh isn't here. I don't need labels!

Also, apparently last year, some rocket scientist decided it would be awesome to dress up like a pirate - but a Somali Pirate. So he gets all trashed at a pre-party (we don't mess around here in Sudan) and then rolls up to the gate dressed as a Somali pirate yelling and stuff. (Snaps for being in character, though)

Now, for those of you who may not know this, write this down: It is not a good idea to go to a function at a US Government installation, in a country known to have hosted Usama Bin Ladin back in the day, dressed as a terrorist with a plastic AK strapped to your back.

Apparently, the security officers and Sudanese authorities do not think it is amusing. They will let you know how unfunny you are in a Sudanese detention center. Your parting gift is a round trip ticket home.

Ergo, let's avoid any terroristy type costumes. For safety reasons.

SO, What do you got!? Those of us who are too lazy to think for ourselves need to know!

PS I've already started stocking up on Candy

PPS So far all I have found is that crappy arab candy that nobody really wants to eat so I likely won't gain 72 pounds like I do when I'm in the states and left unattended.

PPPS I also cannot go as Little Debbie (which makes me weep) because nobody here would know what the hell I was and I cannot walk around with a SIGN....

PPPPS Maybe I could....

25 comments:

darsden said...

BOO

darsden said...

did I getcha

darsden said...

where a blue dress or sumpin... LMAO

darsden said...

I think it should be a hostess ding dong..yeah that is what you should be ;-)

Melanie's Randomness said...

I totally agree!! Halloween is seriously like the best holiday ever!! Hmmm....I too am having a tricky time figuring out a halloween costume. A government halloween party?? that's gotta be hilarious! How bout a French Maid? That can be cute even if it's not a slutty dress. Dress up like Audrey Hepburn? Hmm Sudan...hmm...How about a Genie?? Like I dream of Genie? That could be cute regardless of what the outfit is! GOOD LUCK!!! =)

Medora said...

Halloween is way fun. Do the Little Debbie. Make sure "Debbie" is somewhere on the costume, like a name tag or something. I am sure someone will think, "Debbie? Like Debbie Does Dallas?" Porn is a universal language. You might get some free drinks out of it.

C.B. Jones said...

*takes notes*

Can I dress up as Black Rambo, with an American flag bandana?

Mango Girl said...

I so don't have any ideas...other than Zebra?

I will keep coming back so I can see what others have suggested (glad you put the rules down for otin!)

rubbish said...

Don't know why but I'm picturing you as Catwoman or possibly Hannibal Lecter.

A Mom on Spin said...

Catwoman would be very good!!!

tera said...

Hmmm...I'll have to think on this one a bit. Just keep in mind that comfort is everything, there's no point in suffering being around idiots AND an uncomfortable costume!

mo.stoneskin said...

He went with an AK to an Embassy party? Brilliant. I've never heard of such a fantastic scheme in my entire life.

Captain Dumbass said...

I know! How about painting yourself like Al Jolson? I'm sure the Somalis would LOVE it!

CK Lunchbox said...

You could go as a dingo?

otin said...

You should go as a nun! hahaha! That would be funny!

Comedy Goddess said...

A slutty nun.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I'm terrible at Halloween. Hate it. Too much costume stress and not enough candy in the world to make up for that. Give me Christmas and cookies and I'm totally there. Bah spiders and bugs.

rxBambi said...

you should get a bunch of friends and all dress like sperm!!

An Open Heart said...

I always take the easy way out and go as a witch....the dress is long, flowing, not uncomfortable, the hat is fun and obnoxious and you can carry a prop, either a broom or a wand or both.....using them with abandon pretending to curse people......you can say things to people you wouldn't normally get away with because, well, you're dressed as a witch....always my favorite fall back costume...and, if you want, you can make it kind of 'provocative' (slutty) in a classy way...

Hit 40 said...

Darn Medora!! I was thinking Little Sluty Debbie too!! You could say eat me all night. I am sure that Josh would not mind this.

Beth said...

Can you get your hands on a lemon twist (don't you remember that toy from our childhood?). You could wear all black with that lemon twist around your waist. And then, you'd be a SOUR PUSS!

Близнецы said...

I am stumped. I thought about it for a few minutes but I have a hard enough time trying to find myself a costume let alone suggest one for someone else.

Why dont you go as Michelle Obama?

Anonymous said...

you have having puppy's soon? Cruella De'Vil
or how about that dragon witch for sleep beauty Maleficent
or Pocahontas (once known as little Debbie)
Medusa( do you have snakes there?)
or you can just go as your self you know greek goddess...

Anonymous said...

gonna have puppys soon damn keys

blognut said...

I think you should go as Boy George. Although, he's in jail now, isn't he? Better put on some soap on a rope, too.