No Shit! There I was.....minding my own business, taking a shower...and even though Josh is not here, I still decided I should shave my legs (it's waay too hot here for fur)! Well, as I was singing into the razor (NO! That didn't happen, but if it did...MY GOD that would have been even worse!! I see the danger now...), I decided to do a little happy dance to go along with the happy tune I was singing. (for the record, I have no idea why I am happy on a morning when I have to go to work. I can only assume I am still drunk or something). Anyway, while I did my happy dance, I somehow managed to drop the razor onto my foot. (This is not the first time this has happened to me. In fact, I'm starting to think it might be a regular hazard and I should probably take appropriate protective measures. Like hire someone to shave my legs for me. Okay Josh?? It's for SAFETY!)
Anyway, as all you girls know, it didn't hurt at first - simply surprised me. But as I stared at it, I realized that the razor somehow managed to shave off a what appeared to be replica of Sudan off of the top of my foot!!! Naturally, at this point, I stood very still and stared at it. The longer I stared, I could start to feel a little sting and then I knew what was coming.....
OH THE HUMANITY!!!
It was like a scene from Psycho! Naturally, all I could think about was the stupid stories my friends who are retired police detectives tell me constantly about how all the dead people they found in their career were always naked. That's right!! You heard me: NAKED.
My two biggest fears: Being found dead naked and/or dying in a food related incident. Or, worse yet: Dying in a food related incidient WHILE naked. OMG I just freaked myself out a little there.
So not only did I lose what appeared to be 3 litres of blood (or it might be something else, I can't really figure out the metric system! Although snaps to me for spelling it all British-like...) I now have an open wound that pretty much opens the door for Africa to not only touch me, but to just stroll on inside.
Welcome Africa!! Parasites and Amoebas to the left; flesh eating bacteria, please move to the right....No pushing...there's plenty of room for everyone.
The Very Best Day
5 hours ago