Thursday, September 3, 2009

I Moved to the Ghetto to Get Away from the Hounding Reporters...

In the ghetttooooooooo......And his mama cried.....(Shit! now that stupid song is stuck in my head!)

Poor little baby child was born in the gheettoooooooo.....in the gheeeettooooooo...

But alas the do-gooders have found me!! Unable to leave me in peace, the so-called investigative reporters have outed me. Frankly, I am disgusted by what mascarades for journalism today! There are sooo many other stories that could and SHOULD be told -- why just the other day, I found a lady who I swear was an al-Qa'ida beautician here -- she was TOTALLY using enhanced brow removal techniques (in clear violation of the Geneva Convention -- or what I imagine should BE in the Geneva Convention if I had ever actually READ the Geneva Convention -- but seriously, when is that ever going to be applicable?? )

I will admit though, this al-Qa'ida beautician, was good. My brows were scared straight! That Bitch got them in line -- and believe me, they had it coming! Therefore, I'm not going to create much of a fuss. I WILL, however, demand anesthesia if/when my brows ever start to act unruly and I am forced to visit her again. I'm just saying...so her methods are unorthodox and maybe you don't want to know about them but she gets results! I need her on that wall (of brow threading material)!

So basically, because America is full of greedy, scandal hunting "investigative reporters" this lady and her chamber of torture continues threading willy-nilly...and me sweet, innocent me am being libeled (or is is slandered? WTF? I can never remember which is which - and it is really awkward to try to storm off in a huff if you have to hem and haw over which baseless accusation to throw out before you do!) by Amy and her crack team of reporters and peeping toms.

Do yourself a favor! Go read Amy's slanderous libel (ha! how 'bout that!?!) And then tell me you are not disgusted with the state of the American press these days!?

You will thank me for it.

16 comments:

An Open Heart said...

(giggle, giggle, giggle, snort, giggle)

(that's all)

S

Linda said...

I was all on your side with the slander/libel, until I followed your link to the aforementioned piece.

Sorry, I think she's got the goods on you. I'm just going to have to start following her as well. (In a non-stalkerish, internet way, of course)

darsden said...

LMAO-nananabooboo she got you..and she isn't even around to defend herself this weekend.. I smell a roast coming on ;-) You and your poor innocent self...NOT rolling over the got my brows scared straight... I wanna know what she did...what kind of waterboarding was going on.. waxboarding, razorboarding,pullandpuckboading? Tell already woman!

otin said...

When you went to the beautician, did you let her wash your hair, or was water boarding in the back of your mind? hehe!

dizzblnd said...

I LOVEd it.. sorry girl!.. you need an intervention..

Start here http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Love-Little-Debbie-Snacks/118339

Beth said...

Your eyebrows were scared straight?! Do you look like Bert from Sesame Street now?

As for the reporting, I think you need to move. And get a body guard.

Hit 40 said...

I have read about threading. A local woman does this technique for the brows. She claimed in the newspaper that it didn't hurt??? Obviously a lie!! You would never exaggerate.

♥ Braja said...

Threading is the only option in an Indian beauty salon. And those last three words? I use the term cautiously and lightly. Please do NOT imagine "beauty salon" in a way that your mind might originally allow you.

Reddirt Woman said...

Oh, Michel... You need to figure out how to stem this tide of liebelous er...a... slanderous reporting... cut it off at the knees as it were...

Don't 'cha have something on her that you can use?

Perish the thought.

Helen

blognut said...

I'm so glad that your eyebrows have been scared straight and you will look permanently perplexed.

I suppose that look is only going to help you at work, right?

Gaston Studio said...

With Beth's comment, I immediately superimposed your photo with Ernie's eyebrows and that gave me a great laugh, at your expense, of course!

Amy's post is brilliantly funny, girlfriend. Go ahead, I know you've got something up your sleeve to counterattack.

rubbish said...

Surely there's a special op's team you control that can hunt this insurgent down and drop her off at Guantanamo Bay for a few years. Or are they busy doing something else for you - http://www.newschannel5.com/Global/story.asp?S=7938981

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Dude, you are hysterical! lol

tera said...

** snicker **

rxBambi said...

You have totally been busted. And we love it.

loveandbooze said...

I read this blog, but I can't remember anything because I am trying to hard to forget the words to "livin in the gheeeeettooooo..."