Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Career Progression...

So I've been trying to figure out a way to get ahead at work - you know, without having to actually do something (because that's simply not my way). Apparently, my Plan B - where Josh miraculously becomes a cosmetic surgeon (OMG how cool would that be?!?! I get all teary-eyed just thinking about it) and then I quit my job and stay at home to pursue my life long dream of not having to work - is obviously not going to come to fruition. WHY? Because Josh refuses to go to medical school - telling me that "because you don't want to go to work is not a reason for me to go into a career field in which I have no interest..."

SELFISH!

So today I was trying to think of why Josh would be so hateful to me - forcing me to work, claiming I need to be nice to people, that I shouldn't bitch so much on my blog -- obviously, the man doesn't understand me and my artisitic (aka bitchy) ways. But then I thought, maybe it's not about me - maybe he has his own ideas for his future career options and perhaps I should think about how I can help him achieve those goals.

HAHAHAH!! OMG! I totally crack myself up! Not about me!?!? Priceless!

ANYWAY, since Josh isn't going to enable my future laziness, I figured out what it is I have to do: turn to a life of crime!! It's so simple, it is BRILLIANT! I was all excited there for about 5 minutes! I was thinking I could recruit Minoy and Liz into my semi-organized crime ring and we could start this big crime syndicate -- but then I realized two things: (a) that sounds like more work than my regular job; and (b) there is NOTHING I want to steal here!! As far as I know, there's no market for dirt!

Damnitt!! So now I'm back to having to go back to work tomorrow AND since Josh clearly is not going to fulfill my life-long dream of being married to a cosmetic surgeon, I obviously have to get up and pretend to exercise before I go to the office and pretend to work.

Where the hell is the humanitarian organization for people in my situation?? Someone should start a fund.



18 comments:

darsden said...

dang Josh...man I feel your pain! You need to start rubbing elbows outside the compound I guess, they just don't know what they are missing out by not supporting you Not to be there! Stocks would go up big time too..in lil debbie stocks anyway You would be a big boost to the economy recovery!!

Близнецы said...

Put a paypal donation thing on your blog. It will be the fund. :)

firefox said...

I am sorry but I do see Josh's side. (don't tell him I said this) 1. He would have to work long hours, sucking and touching tits and ass.His hand all over strang women that need him to make hot perker boobs. ( BOOB OR THIGH MAN)...2 YOU would have to work in the office to keep the nuses and crazy ass chic off him.(you do have good taste) it has been said that a % of doctor do ( I work in a hospital and you should see the shit some doctors do.(not that i think that Josh would ever!!!) He would be stupid, how many ways do you know to kill an man? and to be honest I would never wanna piss you off!! 3.icky fat cells... yuck... come on
But i do know how he could made your dream come true. He could dress up as one for halloween you would walk around and tell every one this my hubby Josh he's a surgeon!

will he give discounts to friends and family?
As for a job, I would shot for a career field in World domanation ( it always keep pinky and the brain busy)

A Mom on Spin said...

I'm still waiting for the day when I become a millionaire because my blog is discovered, turned into a book, and then a movie. . .

Could happen, you know. . .

Captain Dumbass said...

Somalis are pretty good pirates, right? Maybe you could hire some of your own and be their pirate queen.

Otin said...

OOOH OOOH! Can I be the Godfather in you crime syndicate!? Don Otin! LMAO!!!!

Crystal said...

Ha, you are hilarious!! I just found your blog and love it. Consider me a follower!

CK Lunchbox said...

you take down an oil tanker off the coast and I guarantee you won't have to work for the rest of your life

Beth said...

I must get your secrets on pretending to exercise. How do you pull it off?

Hit 40 said...

Asking him over that crazy computer talk thing probably is not the best way to get what you want.... try asking him after a fun friday night :-)

Hit 40 said...

... He will be in Sudan soon. Then, he will be putty in your hands. Go ahead and start the paperwork to enroll him in medical school. Just tell him that it is training for his trip to Afghanistan.

blognut said...

I think Josh is being completely unreasonable, but that's just my opinion.

Rather than turning to a life of crime, I think you should start a phone-sex hotline and charge Josh to call you. He'll end up spending so much money calling you that he'll have to get that cosmetic surgeon job to afford you.

Frau said...

I married to a selfish man too! It's hard! I wanted him to be a plastic Surgeon too but manly for the discount.

Susan said...

The least Josh could do is give you his blessing to have an affair with a plastic surgeon. I think you'd be great at being a kept woman.

rxBambi said...

Boys suck! Hubby thinks that because I COULD work full time that I SHOULD work full time and support him. hahaha. Yeah right. My money goes to important things like shoes and handbags. Save his stinking paycheck for inconsequential things like the mortgage and power bill...

Anonymous said...

Josh is a Saint I tell you. You should get down on your knees and thank God that you found him and that he loves you so much. It takes a special man to understand your whims.

Lisa (aka LadyWanderlust) said...

One person's "bitchy" is another person's "self-expression with an attitude". I am the self-professed Blogoddess of Snark and it makes me quite happy! I believe if there were more bitchy bloggers out there, well, okay maybe that wouldn't change the world but it sure would help some people to let loose!

TechnoBabe said...

Is Anonymous who left a comment here really Josh?
Or Josh's brother?