Saturday, September 12, 2009

Just Thinking About it Makes Me Bummed!

It is officially mid-September. Why is this significant you ask?? Because!! That means it is now officially Fall!!! Fall is my most favorite season...ever! (Right behind Spring, Summer and Christmas.) Fall is the season where you can start layering your clothing, which means that you can finally disguise the muffin-top with a bunch of alternating waistlines created by clothing! Is it there? No...maybe there? Is that a lump or just another layer!? (SEE!! We NEED that kinda uncertainty when it comes to dressing - if you HAVE a muffin top, you understand me!)

Fall is also the season when all the great USG holidays start. Granted, they are all kinda lumped in there together which totally SEEMS like a great idea while you're getting them, but then you hit March and you're all WTF?! Not till the end of MAY!? My GOD man! Can the USG get ANYTHING right??

Fall is when Halloween - the most holiest of all holidays (because it involves free candy) comes around. Naturally, not wanting to be caught without something to give the kiddies (because I'm just naturally good around children) I will normally begin to stock up on said candy in September.

And then I proceed to hide it around the house.

Unhidden, it will call to me to test it for safety reasons. You never really can be too safe with our kids these days. Why what if it were POISONED!? You don't know - which is why I selflessly throw myself in front of the bag of chocolate bars - but not the Mr. Goodbar. That shit is yucky. No self-respecting kid wants that shit. (Interesting fun fact: I adore the Mounds bars, but not really the Almond Joy. I mean, I would totally eat an Almond Joy - don't get me wrong - but if it had to choose...I would choose Mounds. -- I'm just throwing it out there Mom and/or Mel....just throwing it out there.)

HOWEVER, the best candy bar ever - in the history of the world....is the 100 Grand Bar! Remember those?? They only seem to be available at Halloween. Liz and I used to buy bags of that shit and then hide it from our families (I was just pretending. Josh won't eat candy - but he would judge me if I were to say...eat a whole bag of those candy bars and then wake up on the basement floor surrounded by distinct red wrappers and the boys, who have red wrappers stuck to their fur. -- Kernel had a wrapper stuck to the side of his head. The little shit totally dimed me out by running up the stairs to greet him from his return from a camping trip with Jake. Et tu, Brute? I bought you a cheeseburger with no pickles or onions!! HOW COULD YOU!?)

However, the worst part of missing fall in the US of A is that fall is Pumpkin Spice Latte Season at Starbucks!!! Believe me! The Gingerbread or the Egg Nog Latte cannot even compare!! It is like drinking a little cup of heaven - although, if I'm going in, I totally get the biggest cup of heaven they have to offer! Everybody knows that my most favorite thing in the whole wide world is to get a huge cup of piping hot liquid pie, disguised as a tasty breakfast beverage! "What's that Josh?? Oh? This? Just coffee. Of course I got you a cup too! Cream, no sugar, right??" SUCKAH.

So right now I envy most of you guys - EVEN you guys in Canada because you also have access to tasty Starbucks beverages. So if you guys care for me - even just a little - you will go hold up a starbucks and then send me the pumpkin spice latte mix.

I'm just sayin... a true friend would do it!

18 comments:

Karilynnlove said...

Pumpkin spice latte is the best!!!

Fragrant Liar said...

Okay. Send me your address.

Love and Candy,
Suckah

Cryptic Kitty said...

I definitely agree, the pumpkin spice latte is the best. I thought you could buy it online too, you MIGHT want to check that out! Its a syrup. :)

Must go shopping...

Anonymous said...

Michel,
what would you did if someone were to go out and wrap in their own little zip lock baggie (one large size) 1000 grand bars for you.
packed in dry ice and ready to eat.
....where would you hide the wrappers? would you share with others?

oh yeah, just to add to your suffering, drinking starbucks right now with a choc doughnut.....wanna bite?

Juli Ryan said...

I'm trying to hide my muffin top under spring dresses. Perhaps it might be time for some crunches. I don't think there are pumpkin spice lattes in NZ. But the Kiwis think going to Starbucks is like going to Mackers (the place with the golden arches). And Halloween is "too American", so we are forced to eat all the candy ourselves.

blognut said...

You know I broke up with Starbucks, right? I did it with no thought whatsoever to the fact that it is Pumpkin Spice Latte season, or that Gingersnap Lattes are right around the corner.

I also failed to consider the Peppermint Mocha Latte and the orgasmic hot chocolate. What was I thinking?

I'm not even a big fan of hot chocolate, except for now that I broke up with Starbucks, I seem to be dreaming about it.

Oy.

dizzblnd said...

I hope you get a bunch of 100 grand bars.. they ARE the best as for your latte... This is the best I could do sorry

http://thm-a01.yimg.com/image/45271f7e99446b94

Optimistic Pessimist said...

i love the fall for the same reason...i love hiding my muffin top!

Hit 40 said...

I am addicted to star bucks Christmas Holiday mint coffee drinks. Very yummy!! And the hot chocolate is fabulous!! And....

I think it is what make me gain weight last winter!! NOT LOW CALORIE AT ALL!! Less calories in a big mac!!

Some evil person joined my blog a couple days ago with a starbucks cup as their avatar.

How do you layer in Sudan?? Do you add a bra and undies?? I had to check your temperature in Sudan again. It's over a 100 degrees still!!! WTF!! Definitely no white christmas for you!!

Heidi said...

I am looking forward to my apple pie. It's a pain in the ass to make but soo good. I would send you some if I could.
I also love Halloween candy. We have never gotten any trick or treaters out here in the boonies but I stock up on candy just in case. And well, we are never home on Halloween because we are in the city trick or treating. But that doesn't matter, I feel better having it ready just in case.

Jason, as himself said...

All right. I'll do it. But if I lose my teaching credential because of this I might be just a bit annoyed.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Sometimes you feel like a nut...sometimes you don't...

CarrieAnn said...

I jumped all over the pumpkin spice latte last week as soon as I saw it on the menu. Nonfat, no whip. And it was not good. I think it was the nonfat part. Now I'm a little ruined on it.

And I don't care what you say...Mr. Goodbar is the BEST!

♥ Braja said...

WTH is a muffin top? You stuffin' baked goods down your pants??? :))

And a REAL friend would send you some amazingly organic free trade Swiss water processed decaf coffee beans (like mine did today), cos I don't have a Starbucks, or a cafe, or anything like it, and even in the city of Calcutta, no decaf is available except to buy per cup at the Hyatt and please it doesn't matter how much I love their Danish goods at the bakery and cafe, I cannot go there every time I want a decaf. And so, my friends have helped me out yet again. Real decaf. Real good. Real close. Sigh.....

Mrs. K said...

100 grand bar? you kidding? I love those! and they sell them everywhere here!! maybe we COULD travel together- I'll bring the stash :)

otin said...

I liked the original Chunky bar!

Comedy Goddess said...

I would skip the latte and walk a million miles for a 100 grand bar.
I'm old enough to remember them being called 100 thousand dollar bar. Just had to throw that fact in. And I know Facts Are Strictly Optional.

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