Saturday, February 7, 2009

Why America is Better

In case you were starting to think that America Sucks -- and it could happen, what with the news telling us all that the economy is in the tank and that America is virtually seconds away from being sucked into a black hole. Although, someone should probably tell the stores that, because we had to wait in a long line to buy stuff today! AND, the restaurants still have at least a 60 minute wait to be seated.

Clearly, the message is not strong enough for people. We need something MORE than imminent financial ruin to get people to stay home. Clearly, we need zombies running in the streets or something because frankly, its inconvenient for ME!

ANYWAY, in case you were teetering on the verge of wanting to cash it all in and move to a foreign country, I just wanted to post the pic of what Josh found in his living quarters in Iraq. The above is what is commonly known as a "Big F'in Spider," or in scientific terms, a "foreign" spider. Spiders that myself and my colleagues ensure DO NOT get a visa to come to America. (You are welcome!!)

Now although Josh did not use scientifically accepted measuring devices like an "altimeter," or "ruler," he did comment that he was scared. Therefore, it was clearly ginormous (as all spiders bent on mass destruction usually are) and was waiting for Josh to return from R&R so he could bust a cap in his ass and take over. I can only assume that Josh is looking for new living quarters. He cannot stay there now. The first spider is always the scouter - and usually the smaller, more nimble of the bunch. God help Josh if he is still around when the others arrive with their luggage.

Our weapons are powerless against foreign spiders. This is well known. He has to move. I see no other option.

1 comment:

Braja said...

lol...hilarious. and true. and funny, i did one about snakes today. time to move on people. indeed... :)