Thursday, February 5, 2009

A New Year, Some New Gear

So as you know, Josh has been home on R&R for almost three weeks. This final week of his vacay has been the most "difficult" for him. I do believe he is over resting, and as such, has begun a campaign to suck the life out of me!! Even the dogs are tired!!! An unattended Josh - with no work, race training, or specific duties - is a disruptive and destructive Josh.

So, I'm trying to get rid of our junk we've been unknowingly collecting for the last four years here in Ashburn where apparently I felt compelled to have all this crap in order to bolster my self esteem. Josh, conversely, has been diligently researching and purchasing new gear for the trip he and Dan are going to take to Alaska to learn how to climb Denali (or Mt. McKinley for those of you who have not been lectured on the 7 summits of the world).

As such, I have had a full week of lectures on the best sleeping bags and the necessity to have a proper ice axe. In fact, this week he literally purchased an ice axe! He put it in the front seat of the car when he came to pick me up from work (for the ice axe's safety, mind you) and I was pretty much stabbed in the leg by the thing and then told to "be careful!"

Am I crazy here? (or as Josh likes to say, Am I "being a B?") In what possible situation would an ice axe come in handy other than on this one specific trip they are plannin? We will be living in AFRICA....where it is AFRICA HOT. Josh would pretty much have to purchase the ice in order to axe it. Now I'm very supportive of having the right gear, but I'm just sayin...they rent that shit.

Mark my words, he's going to use that once. The ice axe is EXACTLY like the multiple types of diet pills I tend to buy --hydroxycut, hoodia, dexatrim, crack cocaine-- take once, and then promptly forget to ever take it again...(and then usually malign the company/drug dealer for selling shoddy products).

On Wednesday, he purchased a special stove that was rated for expeditions/Mountaineering. I wouldn't actually care; however, he proceeded to TEST this stove on the kitchen table. He "tested" this stove for so long -- measuring the height of the heat and flame -- and correct me if I am wrong here, but don't you put the pan directly ON the stove?? Does the stove necessarily NEED to have the height/heat ratio?? -- he let that stove burn until literally the camp stove fuel ran out!!! And then proceeded to lecture me on the importance of testing your gear.

What I heard: BLAH BLAH BLAH Stove! Best blah blah blah rated blah blah.

I will give him credit for stopping that stupid beeping upstairs and for changing those light bulbs that burned out about 3 months ago (although, the kitchen, sans mood lighting created by burnt out bulbs, is not as pleasant. Apparently, I was really onto something there). BUT, (and with me, there always seems to be a but) he also "fixed" the toilet in the guest bedroom. Apparently, today alone, he fixed it twice. When before it was allegedly leaking in that back section thingey, it no longer does that. No, he fixed that problem. Now, it simply leaks all over the floor.

As soon as I put him back on the plane, I should probably call a plumber. Know anybody??

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