Sunday, June 28, 2009

You Know What I Hate??

The 4th of July.

You heard me. I HATE IT!

Okay, so you guys all look forward to your upcoming long weekend, cookouts and beer followed by fireworks, right?? Know what I look forward to?? The Embassy's National Day Celebration that totally ruins the 4th of July weekend and a bunch of terrorists making threats so that even if we DID want to have a beer-fest cookout; we couldn't.

So now I'm debating what I'm going to wear to this stupid National Day. The event is outdoors and amazingly enough it is calling for sunny and hot in Sudan that day. So I need to find something that goes with sweat rings. I'm also in the market for some sort of mask to put over my face because any makeup I would put on just falls right off my face like some sort of sad, scary clown.

No wonder foreigners hate us: I'm f'n scaring them!

Anyway, I just thought you should all know - when you are eating your fluffy jello salad made with Sudan no-having whipped cream and fresh berries (also not found in F'n Sudan) that I will be standing in the 120 degree heat, chatting with foreigners, pretending to listen to what they say in return -- probably nodding when they tell me that America Sucks (um-hmm...) and here is why (indeed. Absolutely...what??) and then excusing myself to go get another non-alcoholic drink searching the crowd for any semblance of a non-foreigner, probably settling for a Brit and quickly realizing that they are also not American but at least they get my jokes - or are also in misery and are only pretending to get them - but that's just good enough at these kinds of functions!! You take what you can get!

So, enjoy your holiday weekend. I will be out there sweating in my dress, making aimless chit chat in order to make the world safe for democracy.

And then I'll go home and probably think about finishing my unpacking, but will likely just call Josh up to bitch at him because WHY THE HELL DID WE NEED CAMPING GEAR IN SUDAN!?

20 comments:

otin said...

I wouldn't want to have a cookout any place that hot charcoal was a form of air conditioning! From the Title of this post, I was expecting about 10 pages of material! LOL!

otin said...

Take that Darsden and Hit 40 I was effin first!!!!!!!!!!

Hit 40 said...

Yes Otin - your on top!!! JUST A REAL MAN!!

Michel - maybe the locals could use the survival gear??

dizzblnd said...

UGH.. I am so sorry. No wonder you hate it, among the other obvious reasons. I will pray that it won't be so bad this year? I know.. but it's all I got.

LOL@ something to go with the sweat rings.. that had me confused for a moment. Then I figured it out. Too funny

CarrieAnn said...

I hate the fourth of July, too. I always have to work late because it's a holiday. And when I get home, I have to try to not set myself on fire while I play with sparklers. Too much work.

darsden said...

I am so sorry to hear that Michel! But, I too will not even notice the holiday, everybody is out of town...oh wait, I still bbq for myself..never mind and you can see some fireworks from my house...so sometimes I don't even bother going to the beach.

Otin-Soooo proud of you LOL

Jason, as himself said...

"...amazingly enough it is calling for sunny and hot in Sudan that day."

I love it.

And Michel, I WILL think about you on the 4th while I'm enjoying my beer and my grill and my fireworks.

lakeviewer said...

I bet the hot dogs are forbidden in Sudan. You wear makeup in that heat? Scary!

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

Awww thanks Michel, for all you must endure
for the good of mankind! I sleep soundly just knowing that you, while suffering through heat stroke, non-alcoholic drinks and idle chit chat, are making the world safer place.

I knew all along that it was you (I can read between the lines).

You with your sweaty ringed clothing and melting made-up clown face. Yes you, my friend, are the picture of democracy!

Unfortunately all I can manage say to try and show you my heartfelt appreciation is -

Crap, I'm glad its not me!

So sorry! :-/

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

While you're talking to the Brit, rub it in that now his country has taken our place as Iran's #1 enemy. They love that.

Gaston Studio said...

Yeah, what's with wearing makeup at all in a hot country girl! Do the tinted sunscreen thingie; lighter and doesn't run.

Hey, got an idea for the sweat rings... just get a solid color dress and use a glass to make circles (rings) all over it with bleach, guarantee it'll blend right in!

At any rate, I'm very proud of you over there defending our morality, uh, country.

blognut said...

I hate the 4th of July, too. I'll get around to explaining that sometime this week, but just know that you aren't alone in it! :)

By the way, nothing goes with sweat rings. Just try not to sweat, 'k?

tera said...

Well, if it makes you feel any better (which I know...it probably won't) I have to work 4th of July. What that means in my little corner of the world is that starting oh, probably Wednesday, everyone and their dog (yes, and their dog) will be calling 911 -24/7 telling us that there are fireworks going off (Caller: "There are fireworks going off down the street." Me: "Ya think?" My boss: "You shouldn't talk to the callers like that." Me: "Ya think?").
It gets worse on the actual 4th. It's non-stop, all day long.
Car accident. Fireworks. Heart attack. Fireworks. I tried to blow off my hand with fireworks and then I drank too much beer so I lit off more fireworks then my wife yelled at me so I went out and lit off MORE fireworks. Fireworks.
Anyway, I've bitched on your blog enough. Any more and I'll have to make my own post. :)

I'd send you hot dogs and beer, but by the time they got there?....yuck.

Pastor Sharon said...

Michel, forgo the make-up. Tammy Faye would say the same thing in that heat! Also, about the 4th of July, you are a brave and wonderful lady over there working for a good cause. I will make sure we celebrate you this 4th of July.
Also, Tell Josh, instead of offering card board boxes for that neighbor's extra wing on their house, you have given them the camping gear. It's an upgrade. I'm sure he will love your heart for the thought!
On second thought. . . maybe not! But who in their right mind camps in the desert?

mo.stoneskin said...

Just remember your "aimless chit chat" will save lives and make the world a safer place!

Beth said...

You just described Independence Day in South Georgia. Except we don't have that many foreigners (I think they have the good sense to move to cooler areas). And we usually have beer.

Personally, a date with the Kindle in the AC sounds like much more fun. You could set up the tent inside and have a little get-away weekend.

Medora said...

July Fourth is my favorite holiday - I can't imagine spending it outside of the country. I feel bad for you - terrorists suck! The U.S. rocks!

Kathy B! said...

I think the thing that I love most about you is your complete and total love for your job :)

Fragrant Liar said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'll be staying in the house. Too freakin' hot here. 105. Yes, 105. If I wanted this I'd have stayed in Phoenix or moved to Sudan. So I'm staying inside. With my Darvocet.

Valentine Game, Valentine Party said...

I don't actually hate the 4th of July because we don't have work and I can do what ever I want to do. I can go shopping, drink beer and have fun out there.
There's no time pressure and boring environment....
Or if you want, just stay at home, watch movies or listen your favorite music.. Just go out to your shell and have fun......

Happy Independence to all!!!!!!