Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dear GSO,

I am in receipt of your email informing me that you have received my work request for the AC to be repaired in my office. I am also in receipt of the small desk fan you have left on my desk for the interim time until this weekend when the electricians will arrive to repair said AC units in the office.

I do believe we have been through this drill already in my house, and I believe that my behavior at that time was described as "patient, understanding, and deserving of Sainthood." Yes, I realize that description was given by myself, however, I think we can all agree that it all ended well and nobody was killed (that they can prove). Eventually, you even solved the issue in my residence (by moving me into a residence with both AC AND Asbestos).

Please also be advised that the small desk fan you provided to "cool" my office space in the interim has also stopped working. Further, it should be noted that the concrete office in which I work approximately 10 hours per day, when not air conditioned, gets very hot. Your small desk fan only serves as a reminder of how much I totally hate you right this minute. As an illustration, this afternoon Anna and I left a pizza on the marble counter area before we went to our meeting. Upon our return circa 40 minutes later, we had a nice lunch prepared for everyone.

While I cannot deny that our impromptu pizza oven experiment was a huge crowd pleaser for those who have air conditioning in their offices, when Anna pointed out the jumbo bag of peanut M&Ms had melted through its protective candy coating, the other Embassy officials were no longer amused and there is talk of a coup.

Now I understand that you have plans set aside to fix this issue no later than Sunday, assuming that you have the appropriate materials. Please be advised that I intend to burn the Embassy down no later than Wednesday afternoon if you do not come up with an alternative plan.

I would be willing to accept that you move Paul out of his office and put myself in there. I believe that would be a workable solution for all involved. You should probably get Paul a new desk fan. He is a section head.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in this regard.

Michel

19 comments:

Pastor Sharon said...

Ha! The first one here! Yes. . . .well Michel from the Pastor to the prisoner, it sounds like you have fallen through the cracks into hell. And not to worry about setting anything on fire, you it will consume itself in a blaze . . . if it doesn't cool off!

No really, If I send you a fan in the mail. . . will you get it? Cause seriously, I will.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

You are my hero, my sarcastic-witty-funny-blog mate.

Hit 40 said...

NO AC AGAIN!!!! WTF!!! I hate to tell you this ....

I have a list of items to say no for my boys...

Are you going to try drugs?
Are you going to have sex without a condom?
Are you going to join the military?

You make me glad that I do not encourage the military option. I hate to see the folks working for us mistreated in any way. Then, when they come home...

we have a friend who was injured in Iraq that has been waiting for paperwork to be completed for over a year for him to get free schooling for reassignment due to his injuries. He wants to get a computer degree.

Sorry :-(

otin said...

You know, with your luck, the embassy will burn down, and the FBI will find your blog and you will be charged with arson! HA!

ModernMom said...

Hit 40 was commenting on my blog and mentioned you! Had to come over and say hello:)
Great blog!

rubbish said...

Hi Michel,
Guess it's hot where you are! Strange place to end up, Sudan. Who did you upset to get that posting?

rxBambi said...

I was just thinking the same thing as Otin! haha hope you cool off soon. Try frozen peas behind your neck ;)

Fragrant Liar said...

Say it ain't so. The M&Ms melted? You are living in Satan not Sudan. As if that wasn't horrendous enough, just imagine the guerilla warfare that would break out if those M&Ms had been Little Debbies! My heart skips a beat just thinking about it.

And you're right. Tell Paul to take one for the team. It's his turn, considering his disgusting potty etiquette.

Hit 40 said...

WTF to do without Darsden???

I am at a loss here??

I think she is really just spending more time on her virtual farm instread of blogland. Another one of my cult also enjoys this fake farm!! Ilama Queen is her name. She was AWOL at her virtual farm awhile too!!

I think we may need to go burn down their crops!! I am seriously sending supersperm in to find them both. F runescape - he needs to farm.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Since you seem to break the ac wherever you go, please visit me only between the months, Nov-Mar. Just sayin.

tera said...

So, I guess what you're saying is that it would do no good whatsoever for me to send you ice cream in any form, including Daniel Craig shaped popsicles, which would just melt and become...ewww, Jabba the Hut, I guess.

Beth said...

M&Ms can melt throught their protective candy coating? Damn, girl. That is hot!

Beth said...

You know, while you are working on the sidewalk invention in Sudan, you might want to consider working on a portable AC unit. Possibly, you could roll that thing around like an oxygen tank. It might even qualify you for special parking places.

Gaston Studio said...

Okay, it won't be the FBI after your butt, it'll be the CIA and we all know they're way more serious about interrogation and punishment. Be careful when you light the fire dear and remember you're in a huge desert, more or less, and they say Jimmy Hoffa is buried in the desert.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

Shit...i just got cuaght up on all your posts. What's with everyone posting like 5 or 6 times since friday...I went away and therefore I expect everyone to wait until i come back to resume blogging. This is too much work catching up, but I'm afraid I might miss something "importatnt" if I don't read all the posts of every blog I follow. Can you just send me a summary of what I missed when I go on vacation in a little over a week?

Comedy Goddess said...

Since things seem to run counter intuitively in the gov't, why not send a letter asking for space heaters?

Heidi said...

Wow, I am just horrified about the M&M's! I hope they fix your AC fast.

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

You had me at melted M&Ms... peanut, no less.

How can you concentrate with no ac? How can you be funny and witty with no ac? Inquiring minds need to know.

blognut said...

So here I am catching up on blogs and making sure that the world did not come to a complete halt in my absence, and I find out that you've got no AC again.

I have to admit that I found it amusing at first. I'm sorry, but the whole idea of cooking pizza on the counter appeals to me just a little bit. I even found myself wondering if you could make popcorn right out in the open with no microwave. I almost laughed out loud.

Then you mentioned the melted M&M's and you know that shit's not funny!

Now I have run the full gamut of emotions. I've laughed, I cried, and I'm even thinking of sinking into a deep depressive state. Something must be done about your AC!