Saturday, June 6, 2009

True Confession!

We've been together since 2001; (before Josh and I even met) when you arrived at Post in Algiers, Algeria. I remember the first time we were in the same room. My infatuation was immediate. Our relationship began instantly, and we have never been apart.

We were together all through our posting in Algeria. We traveled back on the same flight to WDC in 2003 and then we again flew together to Iraq. We were even together at my wedding AND on my honeymoon. I simply couldn't leave you behind. You are simply that important to me.

Our relationship soon became a bone of contention between Josh and I (not as much as this blog, amazingly enough). He could not stand that I insisted on taking you everywhere --that I could not stand to be apart from you. He claimed you were an embarrassment and that I should be ashamed of myself. But I simply couldn't be without you.

I suspect Josh put Kernel up to the senseless attack in November 2005, but I cannot prove it. Kernel was clearly just a baby and he didn't know any better. It took time for me to repair my relationship with Kernel after that; however, I understood that he was just a baby and eventually, I learned to forgive. And to his credit, Kernel never tried to hurt you again. You were scarred and would never be the same, but our relationship remained strong.

I even brought you to Sudan.

Why can't I quit you??




I don't think you guys understand -- I SERIOUSLY love these slippers!!!! Yes, they are falling apart; Yes, there is a hole in the toe; and Yes, they leave little parts of slipper all over the house, but DAMNITT! These are the BEST SLIPPERS EVER!!!

When we went to Costa Rica (yes, they came with me) for our vacay, I was really upset because my toe started poking out of the top and I knew that it was only a matter of time before they totally fell apart. Josh sent me a new pair for Valentine's Day. They are a lighter grey and are similar, but are not the same. I cannot seem to part with these.

Every week, my Ethiopian housekeeper tries to hide them in the back of the closet and puts the shiny new pair up front for easy access -- even she hates them!

I get them out every week and wear them around.

Yesterday, Liz and I were chatting on the instant messenger. We were talking about how it sucks that we can't continue our monthly spa day hobby and Liz said, "Remember those damn slippers? The ones you used to wear out into public for our massage appointments?!"

Silence.

"OMG! You are not still wearing those, are you!?"

I look down at my feet.

Maybe.

"Please tell me you don't wear them outside in Sudan. Please tell me at least that."

Silence.

"MICHEL!"

But I love them.

"But they're hideous!"

But I love them.

"Josh is a saint."

I think we've already established that.

25 comments:

Hit 40 said...

OMG!!! I so understand. My favorite jeans blew a hole between the legs. If the hole was not in such a strategic place, I so would have kept them.

I wore them every day for the past year!! My friend Susie and I are going on a quest for another pair tonight. They are DKNY jeans and they were perfect!

Have you taken the slippers into bed with you and josh??

Hit 40 said...

HA HA DARSDEN AND BLOGNUTS!!!

IN YOUR FACE!!!

YOU WILL HAVE TO GET UP EARLIER ON THE WEEKENDS TO BEAT ME!!

expateek said...

Can totally relate. The funny thing about housekeepers too, is that they can never understand... why don't you want new ones?? I think part of it is moving all the time. You need some familiar things to hang onto. Ugly ol' slippers? The best!

You receive a special dispensation from me, which enables you to wear these forever. After they finally fall off your feet, make a little shrine to them with photos and candles and Mardi Gras beads and whatnot. They'll expect that kind of thing, you know!

Joyce and Dorothy said...

You want real action, girl, then get your sorry ass over to our porch where the alcohol and ammunition are free. Bring that Hit 40 girl, she's got spunk. And you won't need nothin' but those slippers....you can put your feet up on the rail and shoot at the neighbors.

WEll? You there yet?? Goddamn, you move slow....

♥ Braja said...

Yeah, where's Dar? Sloooooow man, slow.

Char said...

I'm loving those shoes. They would go so well with a pair of shorts I have that I cannot part with. I am gonna take a picture and blog it, because those shorts make your shoes look brand new!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Now that's a true comfort story.

otin said...

Maybe it is because they look so much like chocolate cake! :)

lakeviewer said...

Only an accident will part you two. Totally normal? Or, you have some secret camera in those shoes?

tera said...

I completely understand...I have a pair that are literally falling apart at the seams, have stains on the toes and the fluffy lining has disintegrated in parts. But they are comfy! And my grandma bought them for me!

Pastor Sharon said...

I have a favorite pair of shoes. Once I was working at a building and we had hired a housekeeper, who is mentally challenged. Can I just say I love her with all my heart!!!!!
She got on the elevator with me and 5 other people, took one look at my shoes and said, "Boy, Sharon, your shoes are old! Don't you make good money?"
She was serious as a heart attack! I never EVER wore those shoes outside of home again! And I miss them terribly!

Dedene said...

Throw those germ carriers out! Give them to a poor person, just get rid of them!!

Comedy Goddess said...

Just have them dipped in bronze so you can always admire them on your mantle.

Gaston Studio said...

Ooooo Wheeeee girl, those are clones of my favorite slippers you've got over there in desert land! Mine are beige and the insoles are totally in tatters, but I love those things and understand how you feel. Don't anyone come between you and those slippers and when you absolutely can't wear them anymore, do what CG said and bronze them suckers!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You're funny.

Jason, as himself said...

And there will never be a pair of slipper nearly as wonderful. This is a once in a lifetime thing. But you know that.

Fragrant Liar said...

It's a good thing you don't quit those puppies because if you did, they'd be drowning themselves in sorrow (aka, the darkest black shoe polish around). Don't be the reason they lose their soles to the drink!

Missy said...

Wow! Seek therapy now! LOL

dizzblnd said...

I know how it feels to love something as simple as that so much. I had a sundress that I wore for 18 years. I JUST recently threw it out.. I am so lost without it.. sadly a 16 year old koulat (or however it's spelled) is not far behind. You only live once.. hold on to everything near and dear as long as you can

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I totally understand. I used to have the same relationship with a headband. Odd I know. It wasn't for public appearances but to put on my make up and on those days when you come home and you just can't stand one piece of hair on your face one second longer. No, dammit, I'm not neurotic. I may or may not have worn it once to take my daughter to the school bus-stop. It mysteriously disappeared after that. I've never been the same since.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Otin and Hit 40 have been ranting and raving about you for some time now...so I couldn't resist the urge to come check you out...wait, that didn't sound right...(grin!)

I love this post! I have an old sweatshirt that's starting to get really holy...but it's my all time favorite layerable sweatshirt I live in in the wintertime - I can't part with it, no matter how holy it gets! Hubby just shakes his head... ;)

bernthis said...

Toss the shoes!!! Oh my God. This reminds me of the episode when Miranda's housekeeper rearranged what was inside her nightstand if you get my drift

Beth said...

I'm going to send you a gift certificate for some therapy. You can use it for Josh to help him with his feelings of jealousy.

CarrieAnn said...

Those slippers are HOT!!!

Mrs. K said...

Confession- I have a pair of 10 year old pajama pants I ADORE and can't part with...and how do I know they are 10 years old? they were with me BEFORE I got pregnant...so I totally understand where you are coming from- my husband calls me diarrhea butt when I wear them- enough said.