Tuesday, June 23, 2009

So I've Been Thinking...

I kinda think I might wanna be a vegetarian. Okay, let me caveat that because I really seem to heart meat -- I think I might wanna be a vegetarian in the third world. Seriously. Because, ewweeeeee.

WTF is that? (Braja stop reading here....You've seen enough)

I have some basic (foundational) rules when it comes to food -- and believe me, I likes my food - but what I do not like is when my food looks like what it WAS previously, OR (and I never really considered this option before I got here) if it doesn't look like anything you recognize in nature!!

As it turns out, that is ALSO bad.

Sometimes I have a hard time with just plain roasted chicken, because it kinda looks like a little chicken sitting there - but then I remember back as a kid when I had to gather the eggs and those stupid ass chickens would always try to peck me, so I figured out that if I found an egg that was unattended in a nest and then threw it on the ground, all the other chickens would jump down to eat the egg. That place was all Silence of the Chickens up in there!!! Therefore, I don't really feel that sorry for them. Frankly, chickens got it coming.

However, remember that yucky paper sack of innards in the middle?? The one that either makes you gag because you can never get it out because its totally stuck up in there tight and/or the stupid damn paper thing rips and you're forced to go prospecting for shit you don't know why they even put it in there? DOES ANYONE USE THAT? (Anyone besides my dad??) Or, if you're like me - the paper sack of innards that you seem to always forget to take out and then just bake it in there for a tasty surprise of innardy goodness??

Well, here in Sudan, you would be thankful for that damn paper sack - because (and I truly never considered this) when it is not there, the innards are floating around up in that mother! *barf

AND (if you're not all vomitey by this point and still reading this informational post), there IS NO SUCH THING as a boneless chicken breast here. In fact, the part of the chicken that I think might by the breast - has some sort of midget leg (I call it the booblet) growing out of the side of it. So I thought to myself, you MUST be over-reacting, that must not be a boob; it's that other part and the chicken was just a midget - stop being so damn discriminatory! But then I see that there are two legs there.

So my conclusion is: Sudanese chickens have one boob, two legs and a booblet. Frankly, I shudder to think what the hell they look like running around. I will do some research via field work.

Stay tuned for more updates on this mystery.

27 comments:

Beth said...

I can't wait to see a picture of the chickens that live in Sudan!

Beth said...

I just realized something! You are probably NOT eating chicken. It is probably something that TASTES LIKE CHICKEN. Something like a lizard or some kind of howler monkey.

I'd quit eating meat in Sudan, too.

blognut said...

I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian, too. Only it's 'cause I'm just plain sick of meat most of the time. Except cheeseburgers. I totally love cheeseburgers. That's a problem for vegetarians, isn't it?

Medora said...

I love cows. Could never give them up. I drive by farms and am compelled to pull over and climb the fence to gnaw on cows. Pass the A1 sauce already!

Pastor Sharon said...

Booblets. . . hmmm. . .. could they be mutated "bufalo wings"? Maybe those chickens have a uniboob, like I do when I wear a sports bra. . . did I mention I hate that look? Yuck. . .it makes me look like a chicken from Sudan!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I'm off to google Sudanese chickens. Later!

otin said...

Are you sure that it was a chicken? You may be eating Buzzard! LOL! My Mom eats all that shit in the chicken bag. ewwww!

Hit 40 said...

Is it the penis??

I may "google image search" chicken penises just to find out.

How can I be the first to post this crude thought???

Hit 40 said...

OMG!!!! OTIN is here too!!!

Otin go back to your blog!!! Right now!!!!!!

Captain Dumbass said...

Are you SURE it's a chicken? Do you really want to know?

otin said...

Hit 40- PENIS!?! I never figured that you were into cockfighting! LOL!

Heidi said...

I need a picture, I just said a whole bunch of bad words aloud, with my kids listening. "Booblet"! LOL

Hit 40 said...

Otin - I'll take you out!!! Put them up dude!!

My neighbors up the street used to raise fighting roosters. I really lived in the sticks growing up. We had to get rid of a dog because it kept eating the roosters!!! This cost my parents $30 a rooster which was a lot in the '70's.

otin said...

I would definitely get rid of any dog that ate cock! LMFAO! Sorry Michel for the childish humor, but I could not help myself!!!!!!!

Hit 40 said...

Oh... Michel is sleeping. Do not worry about her!!!

Good cock point! They claim that the dog went to a farm. Yeah right!!! They still stick with the story!!!

Dig any good holes today??

otin said...

We are turning her blog into a chat site! WAKE UP MICHEL!!!!!! HIT 40 is being obnoxious! LOL!

Comedy Goddess said...

Sounds scary. Maybe there is a BBQ flavored Vodka to go along with the Bacon Vodka? That's got to count for a meal. And, we both know, Little Debbie never disappoints!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

After your description (and Otin and Hit 40's endless comments) I think I'd wanna be a vegetarian in the third world, too. ;)

Lyndsay said...

I think you've just coined what's wrong with my chest ... I have booblets ...

CarrieAnn said...

Vegetarians ROCK! (Yes, that's me.) I'm gagging so much after reading this blog and the comments, but I do want to see what that booblet looks like.

Fragrant Liar said...

You are totally making me want to become a vegeratarian (it is too a real word) with all this Sudaneezeeyuckmeat talk. In fact, let me just announce that I would prefer to be a RAW vegan because I don't like hurting the little veggies now either -- veggies have booblets too you know. Thanks, Michel.

Lola said...

Church's Fried Chicken used to sell fried gizzards, like a basketful. I don't know if they still do. They were good actually, but then, anything fried is.

♥ Braja said...

OK I did as I was told. Though I did scan down and see Silence of the Chickens...made me laugh but I have a feeling it wouldn't if I knew it's context :))

Baby, become a vegetarian, cos nothing has to die to fill our belly. And those animals? They have souls....

♥ Braja said...

Pleeeease?

♥ Braja said...

Oh go on. I'll send you discount drugs like I'm gonna do with Darlene :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I think I'd like to have a pet chicken with a booblet. I would DEFINITLY have something to talk about at even the lamest parties!!

Hallie

Gaston Studio said...

So Sudanese chickens have Egyptian cousins! I wondered about that little booblet thingie too at first.

Totally unrelated but I want to have cocktails with Otin and Hit40 to just sit back, listen and laugh my ass off.