I'm kinda not feeling it today - so I'm going to post what My Daddy sent me to help cheer me up. You might have already seen it as it was one of the MANY forwarded emails My Daddy sends me.
SERIOUSLY DAD! Would it kill you to actually WRITE me a letter?? FYI - and back me up here people - FWD's DO NOT COUNT as email contact. Believe me, if they did, I'd totally be all over that!
Mark my words, the day I get some kind of virus that brings my computer down - everyone can blame my father!! He is the great forwarder!! (I Shit you not! As I was typing the preceeding, my damn computer crashed. He totally did it to me. Now my skype doesn't work. He's soooo gonna hear about this!!!)
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats...
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree...
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
At age 4 success is . . .. . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . ... . having money.
At age 70 success is . .... . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . .. having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants..
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
13 hours ago