Thursday, June 25, 2009

Summary of Life...

I'm kinda not feeling it today - so I'm going to post what My Daddy sent me to help cheer me up. You might have already seen it as it was one of the MANY forwarded emails My Daddy sends me.

SERIOUSLY DAD! Would it kill you to actually WRITE me a letter?? FYI - and back me up here people - FWD's DO NOT COUNT as email contact. Believe me, if they did, I'd totally be all over that!

Mark my words, the day I get some kind of virus that brings my computer down - everyone can blame my father!! He is the great forwarder!! (I Shit you not! As I was typing the preceeding, my damn computer crashed. He totally did it to me. Now my skype doesn't work. He's soooo gonna hear about this!!!)

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats...
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:


1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree...
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.




GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD


1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


SUCCESS:


At age 4 success is . . .. . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . ... . having money.
At age 70 success is . .... . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . .. having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants..

14 comments:

Pastor Sharon said...

How cute! I love this. Michel I've got your back! I have a cousin who thinks she is truly "keeping in touch" by forwarding crapola!
She gave my computer a virus that it couldn't take shots for!
Come on loved ones, use your fingers. . . . type us what is really going on in your lives!

Michel, I'm sorry your not feeling it. Sending hugs to you.

Amanda said...

Crap, I'm going to turn 35 next month and I'm not going to be successful.

Medora said...

I sure learned #2 on the first list the hard way . . . and #10 on that same list is surely the truth if I ever heard it. I miss my grandpa!

tera said...

Great lists! My dad forwards me stuff like this all the time. In fact, I think he has sent me most of these at some point or another. He does, however, also send me real emails and pictures from time to time, so it's all good.

Thinking of you today. Take it easy.

ps.
did you ever get your package??

Hit 40 said...

The comment about the haircut is good. I always tell my boys to sit still because if the barber cuts off their ear. I will be pissed at them and not the barber. And, I say this in front of the barber. He knows that I mean it.

rubbish said...

Sorry to read about your friend.

Great list from your Dad. Love the last one.

All the best.

blognut said...

Your daddy can forward emails to you all he wants, and you gotta let it count because he's your daddy and he said so. Now what are you going to do about that?

Feel better, 'k?

Beth said...

It may be wrong but I still excited about not piddling in my pants!

Your dad sounds great. Better to get forwards than nothing. Even if it does crash the computer from time to time.

lakeviewer said...

Totally worth a computer crash! Funny and wise, all of it. Michel, you know this stuff can be sold, don't you? Aren't you a speech writer or something for that attache?

Captain Dumbass said...

Some people should stick to paper and stamps.

Comedy Goddess said...

Your Dad and my Mom are on the same email chain.

Fiddle dee dee Scarlet, you will blog another day!

Fragrant Liar said...

This is so funny. My dad and mom just sent me this in an email too. I wonder if they know each other!

Gaston Studio said...

I'm telling you, I love your dad! These are such truths, some more than others, especially the 'success' one!

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