Monday, June 8, 2009

And Then the List was Ruined....

Okay, so my list revision has been the topic of much MUCH discussion around the Embassy here (yes, you can rest easy... We're here on the front lines of democracy here!) And we ended up in a HUGE debate (and luckily Josh was not here for this as I am sure we would be in a ginormous fight right now - I'm already mad at him for the things I IMAGINED he would say if he were there....AND IT WAS NOT GOOD PEOPLE! Not good at all!

HOW DARE HE!?! The people in my head have totally talking about this ALL DAY!

So, anyway - the debate was on...there were those in the Daniel Craig camp - pointing out that you can't just throw away 5 mos of him being your Plan B because of a really bad movie - I conceded that Layer Cake was still an AWESOME movie and I would totally turn to drug dealing if I thought I could work with Daniel Craig....

However, (as I mentioned to one or two of you guys in my email comments) I have been harboring a long-standing infatuation with nerdy republican appearing men. Men like Bill Nye the Science Guy and Stephen Colbert.

I do love nerdy guys who look like they can do math. However, let me be perfectly clear on this point -- I don't ever want them to TALK about math or do math in my presence...this stipulation is a deal breaker -- Just look like you can do math. No less, no more.

But I digress...

So the discussion went kinda like this:

Man #1: I don't understand this "list" concept. What is the point? Those people will never like you. Why are we talking about this? I have a meeting to prepare for...

Me: This is IMPORTANT! Will you focus Please!?!? My God Man!

Paul: Madelyn Khan is on my list. Kate Winslet is also on my list.

Me: Paul! Madelyn Khan is dead. She is using up valuable list space. You need to redo your list.

Man #1: This is a trap. Don't fall for it.

Man #1's wife: I think you should keep Daniel Craig and just add Stephen Colbert. Stephen is not coming to Sudan. He never leaves NYC.

Man #1: I have to go to a meeting.

Me: What if I put Edward Cullen down and didn't tell Liz?? Would she find out? PAUL!?!?!

Man #1's Wife: Come on! It's not a trap!! It's fun. You just make a list and we both agree and it's fine.

Me: Josh agreed to my list - although technically, he has not approved Stephen Colbert. I will raise that with him tonight.

Man #1's Wife: (annoyed) Just PICK someone - this is fun!

Man #1: It's dumb. It's a trap.

Me: What about Hugh Jackman. He's kinda hot?

Paul: I am keeping Madelyn! I might meet her in Heaven and don't want her to think I dumped her. This will pay off in the long run, you'll see.

Man #1's wife: JUST PICK SOMEONE!

Man #1: FINE! I'll pick Sara, John's wife; your sister's friend from college..what was her name? and the lady who works for USAID, the new one whose husband is kinda weird. There! Happy Now!?

Me: Excuse me, I got a meeting. I'm late.

Paul: Is that my phone!?

21 comments:

Amanda said...

Oh dear FSM the man is up the creek. Just didn't catch onto the concept huh?

Comedy Goddess said...

Stephen Colbert is supposedly quite agile. Always a good thing in a guy.

This reminds of the time when my friend told me that both her parents thought I was sexy. Is that some kind of abuse?

tera said...

Ugh.

Michel said...

Amanda: I'm considering defecting to the British Embassy just so I don't have to go back there and potentially run into either of them.

CG: I think you can sue. And I would like to join in your lawsuit because I might be traumatized by that comment. They totally owe us.

Char said...

That is tooo funny! I'd like to see their faces when you see them later. You should've just stuck out your hand and intorduced yourself.

Pastor Sharon said...

Oops!!!! There goes years of married bliss! Do they need a Pastoral Care Counselor?

Man 1 tried to say it was a trap. . . I think maybe he wanted to be set free of the trap when he spilled the info. . . or maybe he didn't get the concept.

Pastor Sharon said...

P.S. I miss Darsden!

mo.stoneskin said...

I look like I can do maths, and being a computer programmer I ought to be able to do it, but it's all a farce, I'm completely clueless.

rubbish said...

Forget English, us Welsh are best. Steve Jones (not the one from the sex pistols), Ioan Gruffydd or Mike Phillips (scrum half for Wales and British Lions). Hope this helps.

Jersey Girl said...

I know that you're thinking of dropping Mr. Craig from your list, so you're probably not going to give a shit about this, but did you know that the aforementioned Mr. Craig, along with his good buddy, Mr. Jackman, are going to be appearing together on Broadway this fall:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/05272009/news/nationalnews/show_of_force_171122.htm

Hit 40 said...

You outted yourself for loving nerdy males!!!

I actually got to help someone with my math skills today!! My neighbor is trying to get his air conditioning license and needed to know what a real number was and when to flip the inequality symbol. I felt very special and powerful!!!

otin said...

I think it is funny that out of all the movies that Daniel Craig was in, the one that you bring up is "Layer Cake", I think you should dump Daniel Craig and stick with Betty Crocker LOL!

Fragrant Liar said...

I don't know about Stephen Colbert. I mean, think about sex. What are you going to grab onto? One ear? What's your other hand going to do? So you don't like Jacob. What about another Wolverine? I mean, Jackman. Another wolf with pecs of steel. Did you SEE him in Wolverine? There's no second place there. Josh would be lucky if you didn't dump him right away for Jackman's Wolverine.

Fragrant Liar said...

Holy shit! I just saw Jersey Girl's comment about Craig and Jackman together. On stage. In NYC. I've gotta get my tickets!

Hit 40 said...

How did we all miss the cake joke!!! Damn OTIN!! He is on fire!!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

So....when are the services for Man#1? Do you think he would have wanted flowers or a donation to the charity of his choice. You know......that one charity....what is it? Oh yeah! The Foundation for Stupid Men who don't know when to keep their Stupid Mouths shut! Yeah that's the one. Where's my checkbook?

rxBambi said...

I have to admit I've always had the hots for the smart nerdy math/science types. For a while I dated the motorcycle bad boys, but really they just smelled bad. Give me a big nerdy CFO and I'll make him cry for mama. Speaking of, I think my husband is calling...

bernthis said...

george clooney, george clooney, george clooney and if he dies, I'll be celibate.

Gaston Studio said...

I'm with bernthis!

Kathy B! said...

I'm with bernthis, too. Throw a little Brad Pitt in there for good measure, maybe...

kristine said...

HAHA! Love it.