Saturday, August 22, 2009

Oh Canada, You Never Should Have Left....

So last night, we all went to the "pickwick" (which is British, for happy hour apparently) at the UK Embassy. Someone asked one of the British people what the hell a "pickwick" was, and he gave an explanation, but it was some sort of historical explanation and I was all worried that I was going to run out of gin and tonic -- and I believe I have already mentioned that tonic is very rare in Khartoum, so I was really focused on how I could either (a) run to the bar really quickly and stock up on my drink; and/or (b) con someone else into running to the bar to stock up on my drink -- so I missed it. Therefore, I can only assume it means something from Harry Potter that equals a large group of drunk people standing around a swimming pool.

Anyway, while I was there I noticed something. British people's accent makes them much more attractive. However, I feel I must caveat this statement, chicks only dig the PROPER british accent like the one from Love, Actually -- not the one from Oliver Twist or My Fair Lady before Mr. Higgins got ahold of her -- you know, that one. And, I'm really sorry to say this, I'm not so sure it transfers to Scotland. EVEN THOUGH you guys are part of the UK, I'm not really sure it works -- but it MIGHT, if you could speak in a way that others could understand. (which is somewhat rare).

However, the Irish accent....Never transfers. Just makes me giggle and blurt out, "They're always after me Lucky Charms" every time I hear it (I suspect I have some version of tourettes that is triggered by the Irish and Pirates.) I simply cannot stop myself.

Now before you guys get all offended and up on your high horses, remember this: I'm AMERICAN. We're rude and offensive. It is our way. You have to learn to tolerate cultural differences (like I have).

So anyway, my point is - Canada, you totally f'd that one up! You never should have left. (We HAD to go, we threw all our tea into the harbor and then stormed off in a huff. It's just waay too awkward to try to request our accent back at this point. )

What's that all Aboot?

(Seriously you guys, I LOVE mocking Canada! However, before you start feeling sorry for them, they've totally got it coming. They known what they did.)

The rest of the night was fun (I think) although I did notice that there were a bunch what appeared to be hookers at the happy hour and then was like, "WTF!? They have hookers in Sudan? SERIOUSLY?"

Turns out they were just aid-workers. Also turns out, they do not like to be called hookers. However, its just like my mother always used to say: If you don't want to be called a hooker, don't dress like a hooker!

Honestly, it's a good rule of thumb. You should all write that down.

26 comments:

jb said...

Eh!!!!!!!what aboot those hookers??? I sometimes think that maybe we should have not invited the Queen to sign our Declaration and instead invited M from MI-6 i think she makes a better Queen and she looks more proper(movie style eh!!!).....I like hookers....you got something to say aboot that eh!!!!!!

I like your new banner it's styling like you.

Love you eh!!
jbxoxo

Pastor Sharon said...

Well, this is a nice new look you've got going here!

You are right about the proper British accent.

I also, love to hear a German person speak proper English. It tickles my ears.

Gaston Studio said...

I'll take an Italian or French accent anyday!

The British sound too stuffy, the German too gutteral like Arabic... Sharon! What are you thinking? The Irish is just plain playful.

Vodka Mom said...

Wait, did you get a new outfit????


It looks like you lost weight. :-)

blognut said...

Well... I gotta tell ya' that I really don't like to listen to anyone speaking. Frankly, I wish everyone would just shut up and listen to me.

However, since I am one of those O'People, I kinda like the Irish accent if I really MUST listen to someone speak.

blognut said...

And, if I may ask, what color is your background supposed to be? 'Cause first it was white the other day, then blue, and today it is gray. Is this another one of your evil tricks to see who is paying attention?

Will this be on Jane's test Monday?

Mango Girl said...

LMAO on this post, especially the "hookers" comment...I will giggle about that all day. I love the line in Arthur when Dudley Moore shouts "are you a hooker?" hehehehahahahaha!!

CK Lunchbox said...

If you ever become Secretary of State can you make me Ambassador to Canada... here, you'll see:

http://clarkkentslunchbox.blogspot.com/2008/09/oh-no-canada.html

Mrs. K said...

first- LOVE your new header! cute!

second while in London I kept asking people stuff so that their answer would have scheduled on it...it sounds so cool and funny...chedule

CarrieAnn said...

I kinda like the Irish accent. I'm a sucker for any accent.

And I dig the new page. It's pretty darn rockin'.

darsden said...

gurl you should hear my southern accent.. if you really want to laugh. But it takes me a while to tell a story so you have to be patient!

bla bla bla your page...already commented I like it but why is your marshmellow blowing up

blognut said...

And now? It's purple. WTF?

Is it changing. Is it like a rainbow background?

Goose said...

I love British accents too...and I love the My Fair Lady comment...so true

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Um, as a Canadian, I have NO accent. Certainly not one that involves Aboot. Just one that involves beer-laced explitives.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Oh, and I love your new look!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love your take on things. Especially the line how we couldn't ask for our accent back after we threw all the tea in the harbor and got all huffy.

I'm with Jane. italian and French are the seiest accents.

Amy said...

I love british accents!! I also like to make fun of southern accents. . . I can say that because I have alot of southern people in my family. It just makes me laugh! British. . not so much funny. . . but sexy!!

Pastor Sharon said...

Blognut has a point! This is an ever changing color! I wasn't going to say anything because I thought maybe I was seeing things.

Jane, about that accent. . . you called me out for sure! What was I thinking? LOL

Oh and Michel, since this is your blog, looking good! These colors make you look thin!

otin said...

I love the scene in the Austin Powers movie when the Irish guy says that they are always after his lucky charms, it makes me laugh every time!

♥ Braja said...

You're so right; it's lovely, the British accent, and no other country in the UK does it. I do love the Italian though, like Gaston, though you can shove the French....too puffed up for words....annoying...slap-worthy, that's the word. Positively slap-worthy. And that, my dear, was a very British thing to say. I have a British passport if you care to check for my qualifications in all things say-able.
Love your new look. And yes...you're DEFINITELY looking thinner. Go to Dar's, there's a frozen margarita waiting, thanks to Suzy...love Hollywood.

Hit 40 said...

Did they have some shrimp appetizers at the pickwick for you?

darsden said...

LOL you probably wouldn't have the time or patience it would take to listen to one of my stories..LOL

But, hey I do like the purple it looks so good up against my purple heart :-))

darsden said...

uhmmm and I have drank them all...so don't come looking for a cocktail around here ;-)

mo.stoneskin said...

I have a posh English accent polluted by slang and laziness. Does that count?

Beth said...

But what about Southern accents? Does it make you want to look down to see if there are shoes on the feet?

I do love the new digs here! You are looking all important-ey now.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Scottish accents are sexy! What's wrong with you? And the word you were looking for is Cockney - Cockney accents are not sexy at all. We agree on that. A guy needs that high-class, clipped Oxfordian accent to make the women swoon.

Not that I've thought about this much, or anything...