Well, today marks the 1 year anniversary of my foray in the blog-world. Why I remember (back in the day) when I had fours of followers and was excited when a 9th person showed up (Jane at Gaston Studios) and she actually commented on my blogs. It was at that moment that I realized that I had an audience who might actually LISTEN to what I was saying -- as opposed to my hubby who apprarently has learned to tune me out and hears Blah, blah, Blaaah, Blah blah blah, and responds to every statement with "yes dear"..or "that's interesting Dear." when what REALLY would have been applicable would have been, "Oooh! I'm soo sorry Dear. I didn't realize that happened. No really, it's my fault. You're a saint. I was wrong" Or, I would even accept a "I'm sure it's Canada's fault. Those bastards!" Eventually, he'll learn.
Don't be fooled you guys. Haven't you ever wondered why Canadians are always SOOO quiet?? Why you never really hear about them?? It's because they're just waiting until we're not paying attention -- trying to lure us to look the other way with their fake bacon -- then, they're going to try to switch countries on us when we're not looking. We'll all just wake up and be REALLY COLD and call everyone "hosers." Oh, they'll do it. Mark my words: Canada would kill you if they could.
So naturally, I decided to take a moment and look inward and reflect on all that I have accomplished over this past year and to try to determine how to be a better person in 2010.
OMG! I couldn't even type that without bursting out laughing. I didn't accomplish SHIT in 2009. I think that has been documented -- time and time again.
However, I thought it might be useful if I listed (briefly) what I did and did not accomplish this year:
* I did not lose 25-72 lbs. No matter how many times I drank full 8 oz glasses of Blue and/or White Nile water - not even filtering out the floatey stuff -- NADA! Obviously, I am immune to any type of wasting disease - or, frankly, any other disease that would facilitate weight loss. And along with this bullet, I did not "Eat Less, Move More" as my hubby likes to tell me. (I think I might have gotten it backwards)...either way. Africa and it's stupid diseases and starvation is dead to me. That shit don't work.
* Almost immediately upon arrival I caught Poop Ear. This is the inspiration for me to obtain my WebMD License to practice web-based medicine. (I've since specialized in internal WebMD, and Jason (in our office, who does NOT currently have a blog, but who SHOULD) is our external webdoc). (Post: Stink Eye)
* Not long after I became a WebMD certified physician, I found my first skin cancer and wrote about it. It's a very exciting story. I was riveted. Two thumbs up. (Post: Hypochondria)
* I became a Travel Guide for Sudan's Tourism Industry - I even attached PHOTOS...although they haven't actually called me back yet. Do you think 10 mos is too long to wait?? (EasterIII - Revenge of the Pyramids)
* I met my first Sudanese Bathroom. (In all seriousness, I read this one again and I am STILL LAUGHING over this one (Josh is humiliated). The only thing I can tell you is that I WISH this one was made up - it's totally not. I have since been back to the house - and they have since changed the toilet and removed the sea shell. (I am not sure if it was because of me...probably not. I mean, seriously...right??) (Post: Well, I am Going to Have to Move...)
And then I insulted Jesus (in my last post).
SOOOO...that just about wraps up 2009 AND also my year of blogging. I'm sure there were more - and I would like to tell you that I have been working really hard and have been trying to make myself a better person these last few days - however, in reality, I (a) have been trying to con anyone with access to booze into inviting me to their New Year's Eve Party; and (b) discovered facebook...and that shit is addicting.
Let's just hope 2010 is a better year. That I manage to accomplish a LOT more, and that I finally get that Adderall that I have been bitching about not having for the entire year of blog posts.
What the hell, why not?!?!? I'll just resolve to go the gym everyday. I'll start a countdown....
(I give it 3 days. Any bets?)
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
13 hours ago