Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Reflections on 2009

Well, today marks the 1 year anniversary of my foray in the blog-world.  Why I remember (back in the day) when I had fours of followers and was excited when a 9th person showed up (Jane at Gaston Studios) and she actually commented on my blogs.  It was at that moment  that I realized that I had an audience who might actually LISTEN to what I was saying -- as opposed to my hubby who apprarently has learned to tune me out and hears Blah, blah, Blaaah, Blah blah blah, and responds to every statement with "yes dear"..or "that's interesting Dear." when what REALLY would have been applicable would have been, "Oooh! I'm soo sorry Dear.  I didn't realize that happened.  No really, it's my fault.  You're a saint.  I was wrong"  Or, I would even accept a "I'm sure it's Canada's fault.  Those bastards!"  Eventually, he'll learn. 

Don't be fooled you guys.  Haven't you ever wondered why Canadians are always SOOO quiet?? Why you never really hear about them?? It's because they're just waiting until we're not paying attention -- trying to lure us to look the other way with their fake bacon -- then, they're going to try to switch countries on us when we're not looking.  We'll all just wake up and be REALLY COLD and call everyone "hosers."   Oh, they'll do it. Mark my words: Canada would kill you if they could. 

So naturally, I decided to take a moment and look inward and reflect on all that I have accomplished over this past year and to try to determine how to be a better person in 2010.  

OMG! I couldn't even type that without bursting out laughing.  I didn't accomplish SHIT in 2009.  I think that has been documented -- time and time again. 

However, I thought it might be useful if I listed (briefly) what I did and did not accomplish this year:

*  I did not lose 25-72 lbs.  No matter how many times I drank full 8 oz glasses of Blue and/or White Nile water - not even filtering out the floatey stuff -- NADA!  Obviously, I am immune to any type of wasting disease - or, frankly, any other disease that would facilitate weight loss.   And along with this bullet, I did not "Eat Less, Move More" as my hubby likes to tell me.  (I think I might have gotten it backwards)...either way.  Africa and it's stupid diseases and starvation is dead to me.   That shit don't work.

* Almost immediately upon arrival I caught Poop Ear.  This is the inspiration for me to obtain my WebMD License to practice web-based medicine.  (I've since specialized in internal WebMD, and Jason (in our office, who does NOT currently have a blog, but who SHOULD) is our external webdoc).  (Post: Stink Eye)

*  Not long after I became a WebMD certified physician, I found my first skin cancer and wrote about it.  It's a very exciting story.  I was riveted.  Two thumbs up.  (Post: Hypochondria)

* I became a Travel Guide for Sudan's Tourism Industry - I even attached PHOTOS...although they haven't actually called me back yet.  Do you think 10 mos is too long to wait?? (EasterIII - Revenge of the Pyramids)

* I met my first Sudanese Bathroom.  (In all seriousness, I read this one again and I am STILL LAUGHING over this one (Josh is humiliated).  The only thing I can tell you is that I WISH this one was made up - it's totally not.  I have since been back to the house - and they have since changed the toilet and removed the sea shell.  (I am not sure if it was because of me...probably not. I mean, seriously...right??)  (Post: Well, I am Going to Have to Move...)

And then I insulted Jesus (in my last post).

SOOOO...that just about wraps up 2009 AND also my year of blogging.  I'm sure there were more - and I would like to tell you that I have been working really hard and have been trying to make myself a better person these last few days - however, in reality, I (a) have been trying to con anyone with access to booze into inviting me to their New Year's Eve Party; and (b) discovered facebook...and that shit is addicting. 

Let's just hope 2010 is a better year.  That I manage to accomplish a LOT more, and that I finally get that Adderall that I have been bitching about not having for the entire year of blog posts. 

What the hell, why not?!?!?  I'll just resolve to go the gym everyday.  I'll start a countdown....

(I give it 3 days.  Any bets?)


Fragrant Liar said...

Michel, I have been entertained by you pretty much all stinkin' year. I just wonder, if you ever leave Sudan, will you be as funny? I mean, Sudan is one funny place. So, I hope you never leave Sudan cuz I need funny in my life, and you're teetering at the top of my funny list (probably from the alcohol).

Hugs and kisses,
Fragrant Liar

Fragrant Liar said...

P.S. I totally said teetering. I don't know where I come up with this stuff. You must inspire me.

injaynesworld said...

Congrats on the one-year anni... I agree with FL. I know I'd be a helluva lot funnier if I lived in Sudan.

joycelyn said...

oh, you want your readers to actually comment? And tell you how they check on your blog every single day in the hopes of more funny? Well here goes...
I found your blog before you moved and LAUGHED a lot so kept reading it and then Sudan hit and I laughed even more. I think you rock, plus we are both originally from Montana, so I had to keep reading out of montana-sisterhood or something like that.

Juli Ryan said...

I was trying to eat my toast when I got to the part about the Nile water and the floatey stuff. Thanks. And congrats on your blogoversary.

Anonymous said...

No matter what you accomplished or didn't you still had a pretty exciting and interesting year! And all that Sudan stuff makes for some great laughs!
So. . .keep it up!!!
Hope you find some good New Year's Party to go to. I want to hear more about beer pong and spinning beds.

blognut said...

I am eternally grateful to the forces of the world that brought me to your blog. You have provided me with blog fodder all year long because whenever I can't think of anything to write, I just make fun of you! THANK YOU, MICHEL!

Oh shit! I just realized that I might be a bully. I'm sorry.

Not really.

Yes I am.

No, I'm really not. I'm not only a bully, I am apparently also a liar. Heh.

ILY Michel!!! Happy Blogiversary!

Beth said...

I still miss the posts about the dogs. You haven't talked about them in a while and that is just an UNSPEAKABLE OUTRAGE! :)

It has been great getting to know you this past year.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Congrats on your one year anniversary. I've loved reading every single post. Even the ones I missed.

Jaime said...

if you can make it 2 weeks going to the gym, you'll be fine... it takes about that long to form a habit.

Linda said...

Congratulations on your one year anniversary. Forget about the gym, just make sure you keep blogging. I'm pretty sure typing counts as exercise, especially if you kind of bang the keys and have to back up a lot to fix typos. That's my story anyway, but you can use it too.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

happy blogoversay funny lady. i love your posts, your rants, all of it.

looking forward to another year.

Captain Dumbass said...

If it wasn't for Canada, you would have lost those 72 pounds.


Jane! said...

Wait. Is there no booze in Sudan?
If not, I think you might as well cross 'stay sane' off your list of resolutions.
Happy Blogiversary to You!

Gaston Studio said...

I'm so glad I found you just as you were moving to Sudan and trying to find a temp home for Kernel and Jack.
Your posts regularly make me spit coffee onto my screen! At times, I think: "She's going to run out of material soon" but you never do.
That's cause you're just a natural!

Oh, and congrats on your first blogaversary!


Pastor Sharon said...

I remember my first visit to your blog. I had just walked away from my 17 year career to return to school full time.
The day I came upon your blog was the same day I let go of tears and collasped into laughter.
You were the beginning of my stepping out of the KNOW ZONE into the zone of adventure.
I was able to find myself again. . . and because you have been able to get away with these wild and crazy stories all year long, I have been able to find the humorous side of myself again. . . after 12 long years.
I will love you forever for that. . .even if we never meet face to face.

Keep up the great work! I'm your number one fan. . . even if you do risk doing hard time in purgatory. . .LOL!!!!! just teasing you.

Anonymous said...

your year sounds way funner than mine...and by the way i moved to wordpress...so don't lose track! I still can't figure out the stupid thing and am wondering why i did this...oh well

mrs k

tera said...

Way to go!

Now your challenge is to find Adderall that either tastes like a) bacon or b) Little Debbie's and be able to get your hands on some Bakon vodka to wash 'em down with!

You so make me laugh! I seriously owe you mucho margaritas/martinis is you ever show your face in this neck of the woods again! :)

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

Happy blogiversary! Man there's a lot of you that began at the same time, coincidence??

I'm so glad my mom (Gaston Studio) kept telling me these crazy stories about you so that I finally visited your blog and have been entertained ever since. I, like my mother, sometimes will spit coffee on my computer screen. Must be a family thing. I now read your blog without coffee cup in hand :).

Happy new year to you girl, I look forward to many more riveting posts!

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