Friday, December 11, 2009

A Khartoum Christmas Party

So tonight I'm going to a Christmas Party.  Yes, you heard me, a CHRISTMAS party.  So I'm all excited, right?  Because SHIT! I totally heart Christmas parties.  There are cookies, and booze and all kinds of snacky-snacks...

Then I remembered....I'm in Khartoum.

Now I'm all nervous to go, and will likely entitle my next post, "12 December, 9:14 pm....The date/time Christmas was OFFICIALLY RUINED."   Seriously, if you stop and think about it for just a minute, you'll totally understand my angst: 

Khartoum is not known for it's cookies, cakes and pies.  They're known for having FOREIGN cookies, cakes and pies, AND, I'm not really sure they know what "cake" means...I've seen some shit they had put out a tag that said "cake" in front of, and....well....I'm not sure what it was...but what I am sure of, is that it was NOT cake.  (trust me, I fall for it Every Time.); and

Khartoum is dry.  Granted, some people can get alcohol...it's like back in the day when i was a teen in Montana (which was technically a "dry" country when you're under 21), I totally managed to find and acquire booze. 

(WHAT!?  No mom...that was just joking. I did NOT.  That would be wrong.  Where do you come up with these things?!)

SOO, you can see why I am having a dilemma here.   PLUS, the invitation said "Formal Attire Required."

WTF does that mean in Sudan?? Do they mean a formal wrap-around blanket-thing with sparkles attached??  Or do they mean formal attire, like we mean formal attire... I NEED MORE CLARIFICATION!!! 

And, I need formal attire.  

I didn't actually pack any formal dresses.  I didn't think I would need them.  The best I can do is a dress...and lame, half-assed dress more suited for summer and the office. 

So now, not only am I likely going to be pissed that they are serving stupid fruit juice and those arab "sweets" that pretty much amount to some kinda mini-wheat type of material soaked in honey and sprinkled with pistachios....I'm going to look like a monster and might get kicked out for not wearing a sparkley blanket with matching scarf.

Nevermind.  I don't need a next post: 12 December 2009, 10:13 am.  The date/time Christmas was officially RUINED in Khartoum.

15 comments:

Brian Miller said...

yikes! sounds like a grand old time in the town tonight!

Frau said...

I can't even imagine..I thought I had it bad in Germany without Chocolate chips but we at least have German chocolate and beer! You might need to BYOB and BYOC! Have fun!

otin said...

How can you make the word "party" seem like torture!? Only you could do that! hahaha!

blognut said...

Let me help you, Michel:

Maybe you should drink your own booze at home before you go to the party.

I am a damn genius!! :)

Mrs. K said...

that would stress me out too much- how about just ordering from harry and david? that moose crunch (chocolate of course) is delicious!

CarrieAnn said...

I love cake, things that sparkle, and alcohol. I could never live in Khartoum.

Beth said...

Uh. Wait! Do the people in Khartoum celebrate Christmas? I'm all confused now. Don't worry. It is my perpetual state.

Beth said...

I have an idea! Do you have access to any birds? Feathers always make dresses seem formal. You could pluck some feathers and glue them on one of your office dresses and then you'd be all formal.

On the downside, you'd ruin that dress.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I'm confused with Beth. Who is throwing this Christmas party? Do they celebrate Christmas there?

injaynesworld said...

I soooooooo want to see photos.

rxBambi said...

pour vodka into your water bottle. No wait, pour a rose wine (DO NOT CONFUSE THIS WITH WHITE ZIN - THEY ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT) pour a rose wine into your crystal light container. Boom. alcohol. But seriously, no white zin.

Jason, as himself said...

Beth cracks me up.

And so do you. Christmas just isn't the same in other countries, is it? Especially not in Africa, as you so clearly explain here.

I'm glad you can think about it all with such a sense of humor.

Reddirt Woman said...

Isn't Christmas and Khartoum a bit of an oxymoron?

Helen

Fragrant Liar said...

What?!? Did you go to the partay? I didn't even get the wrap-up. Just some lame stuff about your hurtey finger. I mean, sorry about your finger . . . but how am I supposed to live internationally through you if you don't tell me how the partay went?

Geez.

Fragrant Liar said...

P.S. Didn't they make that Christmas song for Africa all those years ago? Like John Lennon and all his buddies? "And so this is Christmas . . ." ya know? What I'm saying is, therefore, Christmas should be Americanized in Sudan now, thanks to American and British pop artists. No?