Monday, December 7, 2009

Some Little-Known, Hidden Dangers of Going on Vacation

If you're like me -- and I can only assume you are because I tend to view the world from my limited optic and assume that it revolves around me and my issues (because they're clearly more interesting than listening to other people's stories about stuff that has nothing to do with me or my friends) -- then you probably would appreciate knowing some things that you should consider if you ever intend to take a surprise (to you) vacation in the near future.

Turns out, if you leave your trendy tupperware water bottle on your desk, half-filled with some flavor of Crystal Light (and I am unsure which flavors may have a stronger or weaker effect) sitting stagnant in it for a period of not less than 12 days straight, in temperatures of upwards of 100 degrees farenheit, said trendy tupperware water bottle may - repeat may - develop what medical doctors would call a mold-like substance on the inner section of said trendy tupperware water bottle.

Now, if the above did not shock and awe you, what you may not actually know is that it is possible that you might have needed to pay attention during your 6th grade science class.

I KNOW, RIGHT!?  Totally shocking and somewhat of a sensational statement!  However, it's true.  And I now have definitive proof. 

How you ask?? Well, let me tell you:  So remember when I told you about the trendy tupperware water bottle?  (If not, you really need to work on your reading retention/comprehension skills)   Well, I actually encountered this situation upon my return.  I also encountered too tight pants after a week of being fiscally responsible and ordering the less expensive pasta and wine combination for each meal.  Therefore, I decided to go the the gym (bad plan, FYI.  I cannot recommend it).  As such, I was forced to wash out that trendy tupperware water bottle so that I could refill it with a new flavor of Chrystal Light.  (I don't do plain "water," much like how I don't fly Coach. . .  We all have our crosses to bear.)

So I get to the gym and go to take a drink, and realize that the black substance I thought was Crystal Light residue, is in fact mold.  So now I'm back in Africa, I'm in a gym, pretending to work out on a treadmill, and I'm drinking mold.  (Will advise if this is my new-fangled weight loss plan.  I suspect it has potential).

So after I finish my mold and leave the gym to go home, I start thinking to myself that perhaps, it is not healthy to drink mold...that perhaps I should again try to wash out that yuckiness.  Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a dishwasher in Khartoum.  So using my keen intellect, I decide that I will boil water and sterilize the trendy tupperware water bottle.

So I wait until the water is boiling and then fill the trendy tupperware water bottle about half-way, seal the top, and shake vigorously. . .

Remember that really, really boring lecture in your 6th grade science class where the teacher blabbed on and on about the power of steam and how it can move trains?  No? Me neither.  

Turns out, it was important.  However, I contend that nobody could have known that Science, much like math would ever be useful and/or applicable in your life.  It was unknowable.  Someone really should have said something.

Dear Mrs. Dean:

Perhaps -  rather than talking about a stupid train that nobody likes but creepy train freaks -  if you had pointed out that steam has the potential to blow off the top of a trendy tupperware water bottle, spewing molten hot water all over your hands when you attempt to shake it, thereby covering your hand in 3rd degree burns - I might have paid attention in Science. 

Think about it.

Best regards,

Blistered in Khartoum


blognut said...

I almost hate to admit it, but I have done this thing that you've described here! Almost exactly this thing - only it wasn't Crystal Light or Tupperware. See how much alike this story is going to be?

I actually did it with Coffee and a plastic travel mug. I ended up throwing out the mug and wearing some sort of burn-y healing ointment for about 2 weeks.


rxBambi said...

You are a government employee, surely you make enough money to go buy yourself a NEW tupperware water bottle.

staceyjwarner said...

very funny and tragic...

much love

mo.stoneskin said...

I have always seen you as a trendy -Tuppaware-owning kind of girl. Always. In fact, in my head I envisage you surrounded by the things.

rubbish said...


Ivo Serentha and Friends said...

My compliment for your blog and pictures included,I encourage you to photoblog


Even week another photo album

Greetings from Italy,


tera said...

Ha ha hahah...I mean, oh you poor thing!

tera said...

I don't really recommend the "drink mold to lose weight" weight loss plan. Especially in Sudan where medical attention may not exactly be up to snuff.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you got burned...but are you sick? the girl i knew would have hurled at the thought of drinking mold........ seeing boggies when you blow your nose or if i did.
OMG what if it growing inside you gut and spreads... black mold it can be deadly.....

I thought that Mrs. Dean was your 4th grade teacher, and Mr. Sands and Mr. Getz was you 6th grade?