It has come to my attention that there is ton of snow in WDC and that they are predicting that the USG will close tomorrow for a Snow Day (God's gift to good little federal employees) for the Washington Metropolitan Area. Naturally, when I heard the words Snow Day uttered, I rushed to the window to see the "snow" that God sent the USG for a Merry Christmas....It was a Christmas Miracle!!!
Then, I noticed that there was no snow here, because I was not in the WDC metropolitan area.
So basically, we now have confirmation that God officially hates me. If I recall correctly (and I usually do not recall correctly, fyi), when I lived in DC, if it ever DID snow, it would snow on a Friday night, making sure to melt by Sunday evening so that I would always make it to work on time on Monday. WTF!? HATEFUL!
Damnitt! Once again someone else is the recipient of something cool that I do not get. So now, I sit here judging those who get the snow day. YOU BETTER TREASURE YOUR CHRISTMAS MIRACLE YOU LUCKY USG-BASTARDS!
For a minute there I, too, thought that I was going to have a Christmas Miracle...how? you ask?? Let me tell you: President Bashir declared 23-24 December as a National Holiday for Christmas in Sudan (I was all set to get out my "I heart Bashir" t-shirt in honor of the occasion!!) ...However, because the Embassy obviously hates Jesus, they told us that we can take stupid "liberal leave" on the 23rd....excuse me...LIBERAL LEAVE!? I'm not using my paid leave in Khartoum! Eff that!
Once again, I was robbed....so I will get up tomorrow morning, get dressed and walk out into the heat and dirt...(fyi, dirt does NOT make a good snowman...it will, however, make a nice dirt pile that you can name "Dirty the Dustman" though...however, it's kinda *akward* to place a top hat on his head and wait for him to dance around...the local guards don't know what the hell you're doing) and then GO TO STUPID WORK. (sniff) (sniff) (SNORT!) while you guys (oh yes, you heard me....I said it...I'll say it again!! YOU PEOPLE!!!) snuggle up in your beds, drink your hot cocoa and probably finish up your stupid Christmas shopping. (I hate YOU PEOPLE so much right now... )
Merry Eff-U Christmas YOU PEOPLE!!
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
13 hours ago