Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Merry Eff-U Christmas.....

It has come to my attention that there is ton of snow in WDC and that they are predicting that the USG will close tomorrow for a Snow Day  (God's gift to good little federal employees) for the Washington Metropolitan Area.  Naturally, when I heard the words Snow Day uttered, I rushed to the window to see the "snow" that God sent the USG for a Merry Christmas....It was a Christmas Miracle!!!

Then, I noticed that there was no snow  here, because I was not in the WDC metropolitan area. 

So basically, we now have confirmation that God officially hates me. If I recall correctly (and I usually do not recall correctly, fyi), when I lived in DC, if it ever DID snow, it would snow on a Friday night, making sure to melt by Sunday evening so that I would always make it to work on time on Monday.  WTF!?  HATEFUL!

Damnitt!  Once again someone else is the recipient of something cool that I do not get.  So now, I sit here judging those who get the snow day.  YOU BETTER TREASURE YOUR CHRISTMAS MIRACLE YOU LUCKY USG-BASTARDS!

For a minute there I, too, thought that I was going to have a Christmas Miracle...how? you ask??  Let me tell you:  President Bashir declared 23-24 December as a National Holiday for Christmas in Sudan  (I was all set to get out my "I heart Bashir" t-shirt in honor of the occasion!!) ...However, because the Embassy obviously hates Jesus, they told us that we can take stupid "liberal leave" on the 23rd....excuse me...LIBERAL LEAVE!?  I'm not using my paid leave in Khartoum!  Eff that! 

Once again, I was robbed....so I will get up tomorrow morning, get dressed and walk out into the heat and dirt...(fyi, dirt does NOT make a good snowman...it will, however, make a nice dirt pile that you can name "Dirty the Dustman" though...however, it's kinda *akward* to place a top hat on his head and wait for him to dance around...the local guards don't know what the hell you're doing) and then GO TO STUPID WORK.  (sniff) (sniff) (SNORT!)  while you guys  (oh yes, you heard me....I said it...I'll say it again!! YOU PEOPLE!!!) snuggle up in your beds, drink your hot cocoa and probably finish up your stupid Christmas shopping.  (I hate YOU PEOPLE so much right now... )

Merry Eff-U Christmas YOU PEOPLE!

22 comments:

CarrieAnn said...

I'm in NC, and all I got was sleet and black ice while people 30 minutes from me got 6" of the pretty white stuff. Screw that. I'll come build Dirty the Dustman with you.

Juli Ryan said...

"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."

Elle said...

I am down on the east coast of Maryland, and we almost never get snow, but we did this time. I wish I could ship it to you 'cause I hate it.

Dirty the Dustman! You crack me up!! Merry Eff-U Christmas to you too. Bah Humbug!!

injaynesworld said...

Snow? I live in California. What is this "snow" of which you speak?

Fragrant Liar said...

Well, um, can you take Conservative Leave? At least then you'd keep your morals intact.

otin said...

I wish that we could switch places! You deal with all this Christmas shit and I will build a dirtman!!!

Brian Miller said...

oh you can have some of my snow...see i wished for it...and i got it in adundance...18 inches...cant go anywhere...but it does make a mean snow fort...and the snow ball fights are awesome...but you can still have some...

McGillicutty said...

Ohhh it is what it is... now you effin' hate me even more don't you. We don't have snow in South GA, but it is a little nipplish so it at least feels kinda Christmassy and I get Wednesday off... yay,, I'll think of you!!! xxx

rxBambi said...

I'm curious if Brian is talking about real inches or Man Inches...
If you were a part time internet pharmacist you could take off any day your little heart desired. And you wouldn't be in africa.

Jaime said...

please...take some of my snow. there's about 2 feet of it covering my car!

and you know that they closed the government because DC has no concept of how to deal with snow. it's really pathetic. they should have more than 1 plow for the entire city, don't you think ;)

Suburban Correspondent said...

Honey, we are totally, totally loving it - the snow, the messed-up roads, and the free day off! It only happens once every seven years or so, you know. I'm sure you'll be back here by 2016, and then you can have fun, too.

Captain Dumbass said...

Guess where all that snow comes from?

Heh heh heh.

Captain Dumbass said...

Hey, you could pretend your snowmen were snow vampires and they've all been staked.

Captain Dumbass said...

Die, Frosty, you blood sucking snow ball!

mo.stoneskin said...

Hey, could probably make a Dusty the Dustman every day of the year. How about that!?!?! Endless fun.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

"Dirty the Dustman" - shit, that's funny! I want photos of that one...

I've said it before, be thankful that you don't live in Canada like my sorry self...

tera said...

Oh Dumbass! "Die, Frosty, you blood sucking snow ball!" hahahahha!

We only have a little bit of old dirty snow left in spots from last week. Which I'm kinda ok with seeing as we had FOUR FEET last year!

ps. I hate Obama. You get the 23 and the 24th as holiday. We get 1/2 a day on the 24th. WTF?! Bush gave us a whole day three years in a row!
Of course, you are in Sudan...so I totally agree you should get extra. But still.

blognut said...

Damn, girl. Now I'm feeling kinda bad about writing that letter to Santa saying that you were complain-y and whiney this year. I'm sure that this whole thing is somehow my fault.

Oops. Sorry!

Jason, as himself said...

What? Sudan isn't snowy this time of year?

And Merry Eff-U Christmas to you, too! (In the best of ways!)

Pastor Sharon said...

That's it. . . you are coming home! First you don't get to use any snow days and now you have to use your paid time off to take a holiday that won't be considered one where you work........

So sorry honey, better pack your bags and get on home.

Mama Zen said...

What Juli said!

prashant said...

there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."
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