Wednesday, July 22, 2009

We Interrupt This Training...

I've had a change of plans people!! Although it may delay my reunion with the Hubby on Friday night, it will DEFINITELY be worth it!!! Go see Comedy Goddess for more details!!! However, you may address me as Mrs. Ambassador!

Anyway, I just thought I would leave you with some key quotes (that I remembered and/or was awake for) during my briefings today because when taken out of context (of course) made me laugh:


"I've got four months until I'm eligible for retirement. Please direct any comments to the mistletoe stapled to my ass."

"The new generation of workers doesn't understand the need for PC regulations. They are the first color/gender/race-blind generation. So how the hell do you tell the 70 year old worker that two of the new people are homosexual? -- 'Two of them are gay! Go see if you can tell which ones?!' . . . the man was seriously confused, he just kept repeating, "but she's PRETTY! Why would she be gay?!"

"This job seriously sucks!"

"We often forget that technology is not normal for some of our workforce. An older gentleman dropped his cell phone into the toilet - after I contemplated (for a long while) exactly how or why that happened - I figured it wasn't so bad. -- Then I was told that he put it into the microwave to dry it out."

22 comments:

otin said...

LMAO! at the cellphone in the toilet!

Hit 40 said...

The old man wins!!! Sticking it into the microwave to dry it. Just classic. I have heard of dropping cell phones, ipods, pagers into the toilet. I guess they fall out of the back pocket when....

I bet he got some serious sparks from the microwave.

Hit 40 said...

Darsden, Blognut, and the rest of you!!! WE BEAT YOU!!!

Pastor Sharon said...

LOL. . . .You gotta love old people! I loved working around them in my past career. . you just never know what they will say or do next and the wisdom they have to offer is the best! well. . . except drying a cell phone in the microwave. . . .

Pastor Sharon said...

Regarding the post over at Comedy Goddess:
WOW. . . you girls go paint the town! If you get arrested. . . I am 3 hours away. . . I'll come and pose as your pastor and bail you out! Have fun!!!!!!t Comedy Goddess:

♥ Braja said...

I don't know where you're going or what you're doing but I hope it's (not) legal :) Come and say bye bye Michel.....
xxxx

Beth said...

My grandmother would have been up for that microwave trick. EVERTHING can go into the microwave. You don't want to know the horrors I've seen.

Drive south! It is hotter than hell....but we have peaches!

Reddirt Woman said...

Love the mistletoe (Okie state flower) being stapled to the ass... kind of like you canbury me face down and everyone can kiss my ass goodbye! Not going to say too much about the cellphone in the toilet after having to fish my checkbook out once... but that's another story altogether. I didn't have a microwave to put it in...

Helen

rxBambi said...

First I have to thank Reddirt for explaining the mistletoe thing, I had no clue. For the others, I'm with Otin LMAO. Funny stuff

lakeviewer said...

Somehow, you have learned to translate the mumbojumbo into straight talk. Those are unusual skills.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Quotes are always best when taken out of context. LOL

blognut said...

I'm 40 minutes away, so I'll totally bail you out if you get into trouble. How long are you going to be in Chicago?

And, oh yeah, I'm writhing in jealousy, too. ;)

dizzblnd said...

OMG!! Even IN context they are hilarious. Especially the old people ones

darsden said...

Oh my how funny I love the "mistletoe stapled to my ass." that is just genius there! Why do and how do men drop their phones in the toilet. My brother in law has done that a half of dozen times..WTF

Then the next winner is Pastor Sharon posing as your pastor...rotflmao.

People I have a life I can't always be on line to stand in line to be number one.. I am always number one in my eyes.. :-))

Heidi said...

I'm so jealous of you and Comedy Goddess!LOL
Your quotes are hilarious too.

Comedy Goddess said...

I've been waiting here at the Sky VIP lounge. Did Stephen finally get in touch with you? He's been trying for a few hours...

mo.stoneskin said...

The cellphone quote is perfect.

tera said...

I agree - LMAO at all of it!
I hope you have fun at BlogHer. I'm jealous!:)

Esmerelda said...

I love it. I will have to do one for my job soon, but this was definitely an early morning giggle-fest.

Medora said...

Mistletoe stapled to my ass - I like that one.

Gaston Studio said...

Blognut is WRITHING? She better watch out, Otin may be on the loose!

Out of context; best way to go, especially in a limo. Hey, did that rhyme? I'm a darn poet and watch out folks, I'm an old person too.

Kelly's Ideas said...

Love the Mistletoe comment - I'll have to use that one - the new catch phrase - "Direct any comments to the mistletoe on my ass?"

Thanks for another great laugh!
Kelly