Friday, July 3, 2009

SHIT! What Did I Miss!?!?!?

So I had some "issues" with my internet here at home - and by issues, I mean it reverted back to the days of dial up - when it would take 34 minutes to load an email. Naturally, because I'm waaay too lazy and impatient to wait around for that, I told everyone it was "broken" and demanded that GSO get over here IMMEDIATELY to fix it because I was without vital life support services in my home.

Apparently, GSO does not think my lack of internet service warrants a call in at 0300.

Also apparently, GSO can hold a grudge for over 4 days.

Well played GSO, well played.

So It's been a whirlwind week - I received a poster from Tera at Olive Hue Designs (Thanks TERA!) that she made of (what I assume is me because I clearly am all skinny like that..ahem...WHAT?) holding a bottle of Bakon Vodka and a cupcake - some of my obvious favorites)! I received postcards from Dar and I thought I would document this evidence for you all. Snaps to Hit 40 for selflessly giving her winnings up to me!!! haha



Then some other stuff happened. I was all fired up about it too - but now I kinda forget. But last night was our national day celebration at the Embassy. And, apparently, I should not be allowed to drink in public. I'm clearly out of practice.

I am just saying - going to the National day straight from work (where the only food you've eaten all day is a grilled cheese sandwich at noon) for a 7 pm function and standing directly next to the bar where your friend Jason is serving drinks might have been a bad call. It might also have been a bad call to eventually wander over to the (reportedly) life-sized cut out of Hillary Clinton with Christina (who was ALSO standing next to the bar with me) and proceeding to have a conversation with the cardboard cut out. And it probably didn't help that we accused the Brit of attempting to steal that cut out to put up in their Embassy. Turns out he was not "eyeing Hillary" as I accused, but simply eyeing us, wonder what the hell we were doing talking to the cut out.

It was an honest mistake. I officially apologize to Britain. I hope this little incident can blow over quietly. I will leave some of the tonic water I have been hoarding at your Embassy. Can't we all just get along??

So, let's just end this post by noting that Paul had to drive me home while I hiccuped in the car the whole way. And, I may or may not be banned from any more official Embassy functions here in Sudan.

Thank GOD it wasn't a school night!!!

22 comments:

darsden said...

LOL OMG too funny...conversations with cardboard...hummm don't think I have had the pleasure. Sound like a fun night...LOL The GSO has learned a lot from the teacher eh!

Congratulations on your poster when did you pose for that..now we really know where you have been!

By the way we need to talk about Jack and Kernel...those dudes are gonna get you in trouble..just running amuck around these here parts.

darsden said...

ps I love how your bullentin board actually has some type of work brochure or something buried on there..LOL...can't believe the flying rats made it on the wall...LOL

Hit 40 said...

Is Hilliary to chicken to come to Sudan in person??? Do you have a blow up doll of Obama too?? Do our government officials seriously think a cut out is a good idea in lieu of their presence at a government function?

Do you put different paper clothes on the Hilliary cut out for each function??? My God Woman!!! I would have to draw a mustache at least on her..... OK A DARKER MUSTACHE!!!

Hit 40 said...

I also see pictures from children on your bulletin board. WHO LETS YOU TALK TO THEIR CHILDREN?? I AM JUST SAYING@%^&

Beth said...

I love the poster of you with a cupcake and bacon vodka. Brilliant! It should be sold in stores.

And who doesn't talk to cardboard cutouts? Isn't that why they made them life sized? So we'd talk to them? Sheesh! The British are missing out.

dizzblnd said...

Drinking on an empty stomach in public IS a recipe for disaster. I talk to cardboard cutouts when I'm sober. Oh I probably shouldn't advertise that huh?

Fragrant Liar said...

Hillary, huh? We have a lifesize cardboard cutout of Captain Jack Sparrow in our office. Don't think we don't talk to THAT guy. Or sidle up real close. Even with Depp all swashbuckled in eyeliner, you can't look away. You can't not swoon. After all, PIRATE! Right?

Oh but, it's real nice you got to chat with Hillary.

Medora said...

Vodka and cupcakes - aka "The Dream Team."

Jack and Kernel said...

Bring the cut out of the bitch home for us to pee on!!!!

Pastor Sharon said...

Well, it's good to hear you had yourself a great night out with Hillary and company!!!!

Let me guess, you felt you had to get drunk just so you could talk to her, is that it?

And if you haven't noticed, Jack and Kernal are ready to throw down! Those boys have run amuck while you were missing and caused all of us to have histerical laughs and such. . . .

blognut said...

I was just having a conversation with the cardboard cut out of Spongebob Squarepants at the video store. Cheeky little fella', but he had a lot of nice things to say about me so we hung out for a while. And, yeah, I was totally sober. What of it?

By the way, your dogs have been pooping in my yard. When you come pick it up?

bearer of three said...

lmfao...too funny..lmao...omg i would of kicked you out for having the hiccups all the way home thats so annoying lol..and about GSO lmfao..yeah i dont think your internet problem was a crisis to them at all lol great post

rxBambi said...

Ummm, why exactly is there a life size cut out of Hilliary?? And I totally agree with Jack and Kernals idea. I personally wouldn't pee on her, but I wouldn't be opposed to having them do it. ;)

lakeviewer said...

Uh. Those stalkers that hang around here don't know that you're best friend with everyone. They don't know that unless they are drunk, they can't piss on anyone. And nobody is buying them drinks.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I feel your pain. I once had a conversation with a cardboard cut-out of Paula Deen. I just love her even if she is made of cardboard. She loves butter, mayonnaise and sour cream. I'm so thinkin we could make a cupcake outta that!

otin said...

I have a life size cut out of Jessica Alba, there is a hole in it though!? LOL!
I will go see Jack and Kernel now!

Hit 40 said...

Jack and Kernel need to visit Lakeviewer!!!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You are too too funny.

Medora said...

I want a life-sized cutout of the Hil for target practice!

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Gaston Studio said...

LOL, Jack and Kernel; best idea yet!

tera said...

Ok, so I am behind on my blog reading and...You finally got your poster!!! Yea! :)
I was afraid I was gonna have to send you another one!

As for the "party" sounds like you had fun, anyway, and quite frankly, the ONLY way I'd talk to Hillary is if she's cardboard. Oh wait, isn't she cardboard anyway?
Huh.

Your dogs are hilarious. They are so going to get you in trouble, though.