Monday, July 6, 2009

Remember When I Said Math was Hard??

So remember how excited I was to get to TDY back to the States and how I would see Josh at the end of July after my training? Remember how exciting that was??

Well, turns out Josh may not be able to make his onward flight to go see his parents and may have to stay at the hotel with me for the day and/or over night depending on flight availability.

Normally, I would say WHOO HOO...I get to see him earlier. However, it has recently come to my attention (when I thought about it) that I had PLANNED to lose 20 lbs before I saw josh - you know - remember when I had 7 mos to do so? WEEEEELLLLLLLLL, seems I now have about 5 days.

Anyone?!? ANYONE?!?! PHARMACIST?! I can't wait for Friday - I need help NOW!

I mean, who could have possibly seen this coming!? Seriously, just last week I had OODLES of time - I did the math - by my calculations I had about 5 mos left. AND, that one teen from the UK who was 464 lbs - she lost 205 pounds in about 11 months. THEREFORE, if you (carry the one, divide by 7 and times by the cosine) use that same mathmatical model I should be able to lose 29 pounds a week. I don't need to lose twenty NINE Pounds -- although, frankly maybe I should save up because we ARE going to Cheesecake on Sat...hmmm... oh wait, sorry.... RIGHT??

Who does math??? Someone check my work!!

Also, I fly out tomorrow night, but seem to have volunteered to host a dinner for about 15 people ...wait for it....tomorrow night. What the hell is wrong with me?? I haven't even packed! I guess I could just whip up some what?

Ah HAH! I've got a whole case of lunch sized beefaronis. I'll just put them all in one pan, sprinkle on some grated cheese and buy some of that arabic bread - and viola! Beefaroni rollups!

I should probably go tell the cook I'm gonna need dinner for 15 at seven, and bring some paper plates.


Medora said...

Oh, gross, Beefaroni!

Stop with the math already. I'm getting a migraine. Hey, where's Eileen? She's the math teacher, right?

mo.stoneskin said...

Can I use a calculator?

kristine said...

i dont know what beefaroni is. I am guessing i dont really want to know.

Anyway, handy hint: i just read in the paper that vinegar makes people lose weight. 20 pounds a week. For sure.

Hit 40 said...

I am off for the summer!! NO MATH FOR ME!!!

No pizza or chinese carry out in Sudan?? This stinks.

The man has not seen you in forever!!! If Josh can't rise to the occasion, the man is gay!!!!!!!

kristina said...

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Hit 40 said...

Obviously Kristina has not read your blog. Do you want to spend a few minutes doing anything but eating little debbies!!!

We need Kristina to visit Otin's blog. He likes door to door salemen.

Beth said...

I think your Math is spot on! You can totally lose 20 pounds in a couple of days. I'm not sure how but I've read in the National Enquirer that it has been done. So there!

Ha! Beefaroni! I haven't had that crap since I was in college.

Otin said...

Get that Miami diet liquid shit, if it is that important to you!

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

Michel, Michel, Michel. Don't you know Josh loves you and not what size you are?! If you even think about trying to lost 20 lbs. in a few days, it won't matter, because you'll be too weak to open your eyes and see Josh. But girl, you have more important things to worry about, like your dinner party. Are you crazy? Are you trying to put yourself over the edge, because believe me when I tell you, it doesn't look so good from over here, lol.
PS I've missed reading your crazy thoughts and escapades ;).

Fragrant Liar said...

Hmm, this calls for drastic action. What about a time warp? Ever think about that? Somebody here must know how to bend time, right? Beth? Elaine? Darden? Otin? And then you can maybe have a couple weeks to lose the 20 cuz time as we know it would be all fat and flabby, and nobody would be the wiser. Except us. And probably Josh, cuz he reads this right? Still, if you really want to lose weight before you see him, two words: time warp.

Quint said...

ARRRGH! many a night I lived on beefaroni!

Jaime said...

UGH! beefaroni! i haven't eaten that stuff since i was a kid. kinda glad about that one :) have a good trip

blognut said...

I would totally love what you're cooking. Beefaroni is a wonderful thing... as long as it's at room temperature and served straight out of the can.

Suburban Correspondent said...

I thought you liked to serve cat food when entertaining?

I really think our cheesecake date is not going to help matters much on the weight loss issue.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Monochromatic Black! (Wait, isn't that a oxymoron? Black isn't a color. ACK, you get the idea!) You'll look stunning. Tres chic and most of all thin. Black is the way to go. I have a closet full of the stuff. Stop by, you can borrow some.