Friday, July 10, 2009

Some Important Things to Consider....

when returning to the US from Sudan:

(1) You do not have diplomatic immunity. This is (apparently) key. When you're in the US you have to actually park where you are allowed and drive the posted speed limits. Further, you can't just walk up to the front of lines and stuff. But my question to you is: WHY!? WHY CAN'T I? To be perfectly honest, I've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and it is frankly cruel to cut me off cold turkey. I can't just go from being all important-ey and stuff to a big ole nobody!? I'm pretty sure the Geneva Convention covers this. (Someone should really look into this. I suspect I might have been wronged.)

(2) DC has about 472% humidity in the summer. Doing your hair is a waste of time. Sure, it may look all pretty(ish) when you leave your hotel room, but by the time you reach your car - you might have well just slept in. You will have the same hair-do that you had when you woke up. Remember why the pony-tail used to be your best friend.

(3) Work sucks. However, even though work sucks...if you love to shop (and I seriously heart shopping), it is very VERY important to keep in mind that you have to actually PAY for the stuff that you buy. Therefore, you should remember that you need to suck up to the people at work in case they figure out that you've been faking it for the last decade. (Before that, I was learning, that doesn't count.)

(4) It takes more than 8 minutes to get to work. It takes more than 8 minutes to get out of the hotel parking lot.

(5) It is not a good decision to re-find TV on a school night. You cannot be trusted to go to bed without Josh to tell you it is time to turn off the TV and go to bed.

28 comments:

darsden said...

dang your already back in sudan..wtf...
472 % humidity...rotflmao..my world all the time and why it is hotter here than there :-p

did you meet up with any fellow bloggers...am I confused...wouldn't be the first time!

darsden said...

how come there is no tv there?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

But you're having a great time, right? Got cheesecake?

♥ Braja said...

Oh look Dar is first, that's unusual :)))) Oh and Smarty 2nd? How divine....:)

I hope you're shopping for me. Just think: I'm deprived from real consumerism western-style. To ignore me is a smotable act...

otin said...

Did we meet and I did not know it or is Darsden just not paying attention? LOL! I thought Eileen was bad! HAHA!

Optimistic Pessimist said...

omg i would totally crack out on tv if i had to go super long without all my favorite shows. Hope you're having fun in DC and the next time you're there hopefully I can make it to the cheesecake factory with you.

darsden said...

whats this smack talk from Braja and Otin!

Comedy Goddess said...

Hey Michel, it's 8:51 pm, I've been waiting here at the Cheesecake Factory, oh wait, I'm in NY, not DC. Never mind.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Honey, what we are experiencing here the past few days is amazingly low humidity for this area. You ain't felt nothin' yet...

lakeviewer said...

Welcome back, Michel. Remember not to throw away your parking ticket either.

blognut said...

Damn. I'm writhing with jealousy. I should get to be at the Cheesecake Factory with the rest of you.

Although I'm not too sad that I'm missing out on 472% humidity 'cause that really makes my hair look like Krusty the Clown. Not a good look for me... ever.

Have fun!

Elle said...

Sorry about the humidity, but believe it or not, it has not been as bad as it usually is this time of year(I am on the eastern shore of MD). I think next week it is supposed to get worse. Hope you enjoy your stay as much as possible.

Quint said...

Arrrgh! I hate humidity!

Gaston Studio said...

Hey, I thought we were meeting at the Cheesecake Factory in Atlanta! Somebody should tell me and Comedy Goddess what the hell is going on!

Beth said...

Ha! You and my husband are just alike when it comes to the tv. He will stay up all night watching the stupidest shit.

Beth said...

And if the humidity is 472% in DC then is that times about a million in the southern part of Georgia. We have freaking misquitoes as big as my dog! That is just wrong.

Beth said...

Oh, and about the diplomatic immunity. It is still in place. Just act like you are from any country but the US and you are good to go!

rubbish said...

So, you haven't seen you Hubby in eons and you're spending your time in cheesecake factories, shopping and watching TV. He must be well pleased.
I think we need to hear Josh's point of view on all this.

mo.stoneskin said...

So you've been enjoying speeding about in Sudan? I did read about some crazy driver...

Captain Dumbass said...

Pony tails are sexy.

Mrs. K said...

When we went to DC- it was so hot and humid my butt was sweating- not a pretty picture. And that's when I finally decided to grow my hair back because this shit of being hot and not being able to put my hair up? not happening.

♥ Braja said...

Smack talk Dar?? SMACK TALK??!! Them's fightin' words, O Southerner...

darsden said...

Braja-YES, smack talk they don't have that in India...you are missing out..although you are dissing it out...LOL Bring it...just no smoting that's for Michel.

Kathy B! said...

My Josh is called Pat and I do all sorts of stupidity when he isn't there to reign me in :)

Enjoy.

And do penance.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Line cutting should be allowed everywhere...for me!!

I'd really like that. :)

Hallie

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Dagnabit!! I like Cheesecake.... :(

I guess my bloger gettogether invite was lost in the mail. :( Damn that postal service!!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . no day with hair is a "bad hair day" so quit whining about things like humidity.

And late night TV rocks.

Kaylen said...

Sometimes I get stuck watching crap tv for HOURS. And then I get up and wonder what just happened...like I was in a trash-tv-trance.

Humidity sucks big time.