Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I Know I Totally Didn't Sign Up for This!!!

Okay, so I'm back for some mandatory training that the USG thinks will make me a better person. (Obviously, they do not actually KNOW me, or they wouldn't be wasting everyone's time like this...) One of the things I'm "learning" is about leadership. Apparently (and I never have been and never will be in the military) leaders are supposed to "care" and "inspire" their subordinates and colleagues.

Did you guys know this?? Why wasn't I told in advance?? Why am I just finding this out now!?!?!

I am not positive, but I think my total aversion to people and listening to anything that any other person might have to say could potentially impact my ability to lead and/or inspire. But I'm just guessing here.... PLUS, these people (and clearly, they were crazy people) were yammering at me ALL DAY LONG about how I'm supposed to KNOW the people who work in my office (which I assume means I'm going to have to make an effort to learn their respective names). Apparently, calling everyone "other Steve" or "new lady I have never actually met" can be offensive to people.

Clearly, we have a generational problem at play here. Why back in my day, I was thankful to be called "purely decorative, no skills" by the senior partner at the law office. (Frankly, he kinda had a point.) Today's kids aren't simply thankful that someone is willing to pay them for showing up (like I am)! They expect their "leaders" to ask about their families, their hopes, dreams, and future career aspirations. And here is where it gets outrageous: We're not allowed to just nod and pretend to listen to what they have to say. We're supposed to actually DO something about it.

Today was obviously very upsetting for me. In addition to this leading and inspiring nonsense, I was also told that I was supposed to understand and be able to articulate what it is I say I do for the USG.

They said some other stuff too, but I pretty much stopped listening because it was simply becoming waaay too upsetting for me. There is NO WAY I can learn all these names and be expected to actually speak directly to these people!

What happened to the position where women were seen and not heard in the workplace?! When did that all go away? And, more importantly....which one of you F'd it up for the rest of us!?!??!

32 comments:

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

I sure didn't F anything up... no, not me. I'm waaaay in the back of the line... still.

Don't let them change you Michel, geez, you are already an amazing leader! I mean just look at all your followers! :o)

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

Holy Crap! I was actually first... Ha Ha!

darsden said...

Good Googly Moogly...!!! Michel I am sending you some xanex..I have had enough! LOL Dude you calling somebody hey new lady..I can't here it and every dude Steve...(slap my knee that is some funny chit-sooo true too I am sure)

We are all still waiting to find out what it is you do for our government too...please don't say it has anything to do with the red button.. you know the one YOUR NOT suppose to touch..please tell me that's not your job ;-)

Hit 40 said...

Fun to have you on our time schedule!!! More chocolate cake for dinner?

Teaching is kinda like this. I am also suppose to know their names, but I have a seating chart. I wonder if you could make a seating chart of their desks in the building to flip through while you walk?

Parents also seem to think that I should care personally for their little cherub??? REALLY!!! And, I should go see some of their games after school.

Heck - I don't even want to go to my own kids athletic junk. Why would I want to go to their sports?? And I rarely have much concern for my own 2 boys!!! How am I suppose to show concern for their kids?? I have a life too!!!

You did go to a fun outdoor kinda wrestling event in Sudan?? And, you go on road trips to try out new bathrooms. I think your doing your job.

darsden said...

HA beat ya Hit 40 YEah babee by a minute HA

otin said...

I hate having to talk to people that I don't feel like talking to! Why does every stranger that I pass always ask me how it's going? I could be terminally ill and some dumbass wants to know how it's going! Listen to the George Carlin routine on "Have a nice day"! LOL!

♥ Braja said...

So...you're meant to actually TALK to people when you work with them? I knew there was a reason I chose to live in a village on the Ganges....

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Don't look at me. I totally want to stay at home and bake peach pie for the mister.

CarrieAnn said...

I am completely anti-people. I hate talking to them. I, too, am in the wrong profession.

Susan said...

Trust me. I wore sexy short skirts and tried to get away with as little as possible. How can I help it if I'm now the Director of Something? Fortunately, I work from home and mostly on the computer and the computer remembers all of Steve's last names.

rxBambi said...

I think being anti-people is good when you are in Sudan. Doesn't every one in every other country hate americans anyway?
As far as learning names, just give them all nicknames and remember them that way. You know, Norm, Bambi, Otin, Michel...oh wait.

Anyway, just try to stay away from Fatty, Zitty, and Smelly.

Beth said...

When you can't remember a name just call them "Sport." That works for me when I am roaming the halls at school.

Hit40 may be on to something with the desk chart.

Wait a minute... Don't you people have to wear name tags? I totally recommend them because you actually don't have to remember names that way.

Middle Aged Woman said...

I always thought the "glass ceiling" was so they could look up our skirts.

blognut said...

I think if you start barking from time to time, and sniffing at the air, most people will leave you alone. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm pretty sure it will work. Also? They won't even WANT you to remember their names if you become known as 'The Barking Lady.'

Pastor Sharon said...

LOL at you!!!! I am totally checked out of that whole professional customer service (CS) bit from my job! Not the pastoral job of course. However, that CS did pay off. It is. . . getting me into trouble with my family though. You know, it's not the same when I look at my son, at the supper table, and say, "So what brings you here?"
He looks at me like I've lost it and goes, "Ummmm, I'm hungry?"
I then say, "So, do you have concerns I can help you with? Are you happy with your living arrangements?"
And he looks at me like I am smoking crack and says, "Really? I'm concerned that I haven't done laundry in two weeks, and I was wondering do we have housekeeping? My bathroom needs help."
Then I wake up and smell the coffee and realise I no longer work in Senior Assisted Living and Condos. No, I am a stay at home Mom and a Pastor. So, I respond as politely to him as I can and say, "I fired the maid last week! You do your own laundry or you go to work naked. Your choice!"
He replys, "Cool. Pass the potatoes please."

Reddirt Woman said...

Shit... don't look at me. I can use a hammer but I sure didn't break that ceiling. If I had I would't be living in the middle of BFE.

Wear a really short skirt... wait...no...

Just talk to them like you talk to us, well, maybe not just like you talk to us...

You've got one hell of a dilemma, Michel.

Helen

tera said...

Ahhaha! I'm totally anti-social (with "real" people. Blog people are totally different. And that's not what I meant...), so I can relate. I know, I'm in the wrong job, but this way when I say I talked to nothing but idiots today, usually I'm right. I don't want to know anything about my co-workers, either. They talk to no one but idiots all day, either, and I don't want to be lumped in that catagory.

I guess that means I have no solution to your dilemma.
Maybe more Little Debbie?

tera said...

Oh, by the way, have you managed to get your hands on any of that Bakon Vodka yet? I'm just curious, 'cause there ain't no way I'm gonna try it but I want to know what it's like.

tera said...

OH! Maybe that's the solution to your problem! Bakon Vodka and lots of it!

tera said...

...and maybe that is what I meant...and I just didn't know it.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

How can they expect you to do all that AND keep track of your passport?? Asshats...all of them!!

Hallie

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That was one of the things that helped me decide that becoming a SAHM wouldn't be that bad when it came down to flipping a coin...then I wouldn't have to remember all the whatsername's names... ;)

Kathy B! said...

Reading this makes me appreciate all the crap I have to do at home today. I guess we've all get crap in different forms. How's that for profound :)

Medora said...

We had some seminar at work last year that focused on being nice to coworkers. Sorry, not my job. At that time, I was still downtown and hated just about everyone I worked with. I was nice to patrons, did a great job, etc. but my old boss said some people were "concerned" because I was "short" with them. I asked her if I was doing something wrong with my actual work, and she said no, so I told her to leave me alone. My new boss thinks my old boss is a moron, and never tells me that I have to act like I give a shit about my coworkers on a personal level. Love it.

Esmerelda said...

Pure genius. Optimistic Pessimist recommended your blog. Remind me to thank her.

Heidi said...

I've worked in the same hospital for 10 years and I still don't know half the people the new employees know.
My bosses don't give a rat's ass about anyone's personal life,unless it is theirs.
I was told in my last yearly evaluation that I am not bossy enough when I am the charge nurse.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Yeah, I don't get this whole get to know people and inspire thing either. So I guess I should stop calling all my male coworkers Sparky then huh? Who has time to get to know names?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You should see how much teenage and parental ass they make teachers kiss these days.

otin said...

Just trying to be the last commenter! LOL!

Fragrant Liar said...

Psshhtt. The hoops they make people jump through these days. Just cuz the economy's bad, they think they can take advantage and push their values on us. Who really needs leadership these days anyway? There are bazillions of us around the world. How many leaders can there be? Hmmm? One, that's how many. One leader and a bazillion followers. That's just the math I did, so you wouldn't have to. At least we followers are helpful. When we want to be. Pass the Cheetos, will ya?

darsden said...

hahaha your not otin

Snow White said...

I can be your subordinate. I definitely wouldn't mind being called a decoration! Some people are "decorated" others are just a "decoration"! I know my place and I'm okay with that. Plus, I hear you get "danger pay" over there?!?