An Educational Post

I decided I would give something back to the community. I realized that I might have been a tad bit self-centered lately. How did I realize this, you ask?? Well, let me tell you. As I unpacked my stuff, I came upon a pic of Josh and myself back in the day when we actually lived in the same country. Back when I spoke to him on a daily basis that wasn't over an instant messenger or skype that always had a bunch of background noise and randomly the stupid kitty would come up instead of my picture because I can't figure out how to fix that damn video function.

(Interruption: listen science, please -- AFTER you finish inventing the fat pill -- I would really appreciate it if you could invent some type of technology that could fix the damn computer based upon what I am screaming at it, i.e., when I scream FIX THE F'N CAMERA AND MAKE THAT DAMN TALKING KITTY (that is kinda creepy frankly) GO AWAY! The 'puter knows what I want and the kitty goes quietly into the night. End interruption.)

Anyway, I realized that I have not seen my hubby in almost 7 months. SEVEN months people. Wait... I can't do math. I saw him in January. WHATEVER - It's been a long time. So, before I see him, I wanted to kinda make myself a better person (not deep down inside, I don't have that kinda time here - I see him at the end of July people. I just want to APPEAR to be better! I'm not running for JESUS!)

AS SUCH, I decided that a simple (albeit not exactly effortless, because I have to TYPE this stuff) thing to do would be to educate you all about the potential dangers of international travel.

Begin Education:

Duty Free is not a good deal. I realize that many of us THINK that it is duty free, therefore, it is a bargain - and you know why we think this? Because nobody really knows what "duty" is; therefore, we assume, if there is no "duty" you're getting it for a steal. Frankly, the only reason we go to duty free is because you quickly realize you are bored as hell waiting for the connection - even when you are in the business class lounge. Depending on which country you are currently transiting - sometimes there are no english language papers except for stupid USA Today and what the hell is that? It's like the People Magazine of Newspapers.

DO NOT under any circumstances attempt to do your own conversion to US Dollars (or British Boops, Canadian Canuks, Dubai Dingos, etc)!! it is important to remember that just because you are in a foreign country, does not mean that you suddenly know how to do math and it is probably not a good idea to assume that everything is "around $7," because sometimes it is not. SOMETIMES it is "around "$70," and even though that little travel bag that comes with the lotion LOOKS so cute, it is not actually worth it to buy the lotion that you're not really sure what it does because you can't read the language, but you're sure you can eventually figure it out. I'm just saying, sometimes you can't.

Do NOT assume that just because your Hubby is not in the same country, that he will not be able to check the credit card statement. Damn online banking and its stupid JOINT access accounts. Frankly, while the Feds are regulating the banking system, they really need to add in a requirement that the bank notify you if your hubby checks the accounts (credit, OR checking) so that you have time to determine WHY you spent so much money at duty free for that lotion and perfume that kinda stunk so you gave it to your housekeeper and you bought that purse in that name brand store you would normally NEVER go into because you know you can't afford it, but it SEEMED like such a deal when presented to you in Dingos, but then you did your own conversion and you thought it was like $17, and it was DUTY FREE ....ummm....well, let's just say I'm going to need some time to prepare. Okay!?

THEREFORE, IN CONCLUSION, when traveling internationally it is important to remember to always have an excuse pre-prepared for when you go to Duty Free because let's face it, you are NEVER going to be able to NOT go in there!!

Oh, and FYI, also do not try to finish the entire big thing of Toblerone that you bought for the office, but just wanted to try (to make sure it was still good and not stale) but then realized that you ate too much of it and you pretty much needed to hide the evidence. Yeah, don't do that either.