Fine! I'll say it: Chef Boyardee...You are NOT a chef!! Your lasagna does NOT have any God-damned mozzarella in it, and WTF were you thinking with your "lunch sized" microwavable "meals."
FYI, that is (a) NOT a meal; rather, I believe it probably counts as one damn weight watchers point because there is approximately 2 bites in the damn can; and (b) that shit is DISGUSTING.
Now I'm all pissed because I was at Costco before I left the states, buying my "consumables" for 2 years in Sudan and thought to myself, "hmmm...I haven't had that in years! And Hey! it's only $12.99 -- why is EVERYTHING at Costco $12.99?? And, why do I always think that is a deal?" so I bought a CASE of it - assorted mind you - so I have no-cheese having disgusting lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs (that I haven't even opened and am frankly frighted at what I am going to find) and some beefaroni. What the hell is beefaroni? I have never seen that on a menu at an Italian restraunt!!
I suspect Chef Boyardee is not from Italy. Now all I have to do is prove it.
I said GOOD DAY! Boyardee!
However, I will tell you who DID like the lasagna! Little Pippy. She is adorable.
I opened my door -- and there's a little entryway in between the doors (not sure why, it just seems to be a pain in the ass, but the Sudanese might culturally demand an area where they can compose themselves before going through the second door - so I guess I just have to respect that!) ANYWAY, I must not have secured the outer door very well because I opened up the first door to go see if I could find some babies who had no idea that Lasagna should not be disgusting and/or contain mozzarella and, VIOLA! I had a pack of stray dingos in my foyer. I'm not sure that is precisely what the Sudanese were going for - but Hey! Now I've found a use for my extra space. Dingo Rest Area.
As I was trying to get the babies out of the foyer, a local guard was walking by and made a comment that the dogs sure liked my house. So naturally, (because I'm hilarious like that) I said, "A dingo ate my bay-bee" Clearly, the guy's never seen the movie beacuse he gave me a look like he was just a little bit frightened of me and hurried on his way to the back gate.
Whatever dude! that shit was funny!
Anyway, in between microwaving what I falsely assumed would be a culinary masterpiece, I have managed to (sorta) clean up the house. I didn't take a pic of Josh's man room that I filled up with everything I couldn't find a space for (read all the extra crap) because I think it would just make him too sad. However (avert your eyes from all the dust and stuff - we had a haboob and I haven't had THAT much time - baby steps people)...I actually have some stuff now. Not a lot, mind you - but some. Clearly, there will never be pics on the walls because they are all solid concrete. It's simply UNpossible for me to put them up. AND, I don't care enough - there is that too.
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
13 hours ago