Oh Canada, You Never Should Have Left....

So last night, we all went to the "pickwick" (which is British, for happy hour apparently) at the UK Embassy. Someone asked one of the British people what the hell a "pickwick" was, and he gave an explanation, but it was some sort of historical explanation and I was all worried that I was going to run out of gin and tonic -- and I believe I have already mentioned that tonic is very rare in Khartoum, so I was really focused on how I could either (a) run to the bar really quickly and stock up on my drink; and/or (b) con someone else into running to the bar to stock up on my drink -- so I missed it. Therefore, I can only assume it means something from Harry Potter that equals a large group of drunk people standing around a swimming pool.

Anyway, while I was there I noticed something. British people's accent makes them much more attractive. However, I feel I must caveat this statement, chicks only dig the PROPER british accent like the one from Love, Actually -- not the one from Oliver Twist or My Fair Lady before Mr. Higgins got ahold of her -- you know, that one. And, I'm really sorry to say this, I'm not so sure it transfers to Scotland. EVEN THOUGH you guys are part of the UK, I'm not really sure it works -- but it MIGHT, if you could speak in a way that others could understand. (which is somewhat rare).

However, the Irish accent....Never transfers. Just makes me giggle and blurt out, "They're always after me Lucky Charms" every time I hear it (I suspect I have some version of tourettes that is triggered by the Irish and Pirates.) I simply cannot stop myself.

Now before you guys get all offended and up on your high horses, remember this: I'm AMERICAN. We're rude and offensive. It is our way. You have to learn to tolerate cultural differences (like I have).

So anyway, my point is - Canada, you totally f'd that one up! You never should have left. (We HAD to go, we threw all our tea into the harbor and then stormed off in a huff. It's just waay too awkward to try to request our accent back at this point. )

What's that all Aboot?

(Seriously you guys, I LOVE mocking Canada! However, before you start feeling sorry for them, they've totally got it coming. They known what they did.)

The rest of the night was fun (I think) although I did notice that there were a bunch what appeared to be hookers at the happy hour and then was like, "WTF!? They have hookers in Sudan? SERIOUSLY?"

Turns out they were just aid-workers. Also turns out, they do not like to be called hookers. However, its just like my mother always used to say: If you don't want to be called a hooker, don't dress like a hooker!

Honestly, it's a good rule of thumb. You should all write that down.