I've Had a Lotta Time on My Hands

So today I had a lotta time on my hands - well, after I woke up at almost 2pm that is...a LOT of time - because I don't have any TV here in Sudan. You have no idea how bad it sucks to be sick and not be able to watch TV. (Plus, I'd like to send out a big F U to Hulu.com and abc.com and all you other "watch our tv episodes".com's who discriminate against me because I have a sudanese IP address. SCREW YOU! Who wanted to watch your stupid TV anyway. SNIFF SNIFF) No matter that I think the TV part is the part that heals you quicker. I'll just linger here in Sudan doing online research about stuff.

What could possibly go wrong?

So in my copious reserach, I came across this little tidbit that I was not aware of previously: APPARENTLY, I was supposed to have been checking inside my shoes before I put them on because SCORPIONS may have crawled inside them when I wasn't looking.

WTF?? Scorpions?! Those are just really big spiders with KNIVES!!

Now I'm all freaked out. I can only assume that I now have a little Hilton for Scorpions going on inside my closet because I have never checked! NOT. ONE. SINGLE. TIME.

Although, to be fair, most of the shoes I wear here are open toed -- and believe me, I had a really big internal (and external with Anna and Christina) debate here about whether or not I should actually be wearing open toed shoes. You know how Sudan has that damn worm that lives in the dirt and it gets into you if you're barefoot -- and open toed is pretty much bare footed here in Khartoum because the dirt is all over.

But then Christina rightly pointed out that if you wear enclosed toe shoes here then the dirt just fills up your shoe and can't get out! And then, you probably have even more chance of that worm getting you because at least with the open toe the dirt can fly right out again as you walk.

We went with the flying dirt out of the toe safety option. And frankly....who wouldn't!?!?!

So I then decided that maybe, just maybe I am not cut out to live in the third world. That maybe, this might not be for me. So I chatted with Liz on skype to discuss my options.

Michel: I think we may need to think about other options for us
Michel: i.e open a dog spa??
Liz: um....i don't know how to break this to you....but I'm not the crazy dog lover that you are
Michel: what?!?!?
Liz: we won't make any money because you'll be all loving on the dogs
Liz: not getting the grooming done
Michel: ewwee. no. I don't groom
Michel: I'm mangement
Liz: well....you're not so into being broke
Michel: damnitt liz. why must you crush my dreams like this?!
Liz: I was going to caveat it: you could be po, just not broke
Liz: I can totally see you in a housecoat fixin' tuna casserole
Liz: with those nasty house slippers
Michel: I DO love my slippers...
Michel: are there donuts?
Liz: Dooy!
Michel: Then I’m IN!
Liz: BUT, you're poor, so they have to be the kind from the 7 11
Michel: GASP
Michel: I'm not sure I like this dream
Liz: We should just go to work.

Shit. So now I have to find some non-scorpion infested shoes and go back to work.

Shit.