Et Tu Brute???

So I get this email from my Daddy, right?? And I'm all feeling guilty because I realize that I have not actually called my parents since .....carry the one......about Christmas....no wait...I might have missed Christmas...well, it's been a while now.... but in my defense, I have to use Skype, and then I have to actually TALK and think of things to say that are not sarcastic and bitter (which is quite difficult for me, you know...) and then (even worse) I'm apparently supposed to LISTEN to what they are saying to me...and sometimes its not about me, so my motivation to listen is impacted negatively.  I mean, you know...it's a LOTTA work. 

PLUS, when I'm on Skype making my call, I am technically on the internet.  And you know how when you're on the internet there are always distractions....I mean, there are videos of a kitty fighting off a bear for God's sake.  How am I supposed to continue to listen when a kitty is fighting off a bear! That's HUGE! 

So then when I'm watching the kitty-bear extravaganza, I realize (once again) that I am on Skype and think...oh oh! perhaps I need to insert a "uh, huh...yes.  indeed!"  but then I notice that there is silence on the line...."SHIT! THEY KNOW!"

And I realize that my parents  are also on Skype and are probably watching the video of the kitten riding the Roomba and attacking the pitbull (that shit was funny man!)   HOWEVER, I digress...the fact that kitties make good internet video fun was not my point...my point was...that I was feeling all guilty because I've been a half-assed daughter (but for the record I do a half-assed job at work too, it's not personal....I'm just lazy!)

But then I get to the end of the email and I read this statement:

"Josh keep her away from the little debbies, it is for her own good."

*GASP*  My own daddy!  So now, I'm on an emotional roller coaster of Betrayal, disappointment, and disillusionment.   I mean....MY GOD DADDY! How COULD you!?

So then (as if that were not bad enough), he ends the email with:

God Bless and Keep you both,
Love and Prayers

Mom and Dad

Hello!  Mockery much?? I'm sooo telling God, Daddy!   In fact, I don't think I even have to do so....He knows what you did.

"Thou Shalt Not Mock the Little Debbie"   It's right in there...I think it's commandment number 8 or something, the one people forget because they're all "did he really mean that I can't think Mr. Jennings is hot, I mean...Yeah, he's my neighbor's husband and all, but I have eyes man..." so people usually miss it.

But it's there.  Trust me.  It's there.