Case in point: I received this extremely hurtful email from my mommy!
It appears to me (and thanks to CNN and all other news media--it has been broadcast to the WHOLE WORLD) that you have again missed the coveted Snow Day!
Why would that happen, Bear? It is time to look at your life, girl! Something is clearly very wrong, because -------it would more precise (linguistically) to say that you have been DENIED the. I mean, who could miss this blessing? Papa and I had two winters with due to 5 feet of snow--but you get nothing!
The entre East Coast and especially DC at this present moment has over 2 1/2 feet of snow and not much hope of plowing out (Perhaps we should allow ear marks/piggies --er, pork for DC--so they can actually buy (or rent) a! But then that would require budget approvals and you know how that goes. Government is supposed to be by the people, and I guess that means government must get the people to personally shovel! By my best guess, this Snow Day will translate into a SNOW WEEK for everyone--except you.
Now I ask you, Bear, WHATEVER DID YOU DO?--
It must have been huge (and I do have some ideas on what that might be) because clearly you have really upset the Almighty! I mean, you not only missed a snow day, you find yourself in a place far from DC (location of said snow day) and even farther from SNOW (good planning, Bear) --and even if snow were to fall in Sudan, no one in your official places would ever bother to declare a snow day!
I'm guessing there is not going to be a care package of Little Debbie Banana Moon Pies and Swiss Rolls winging my way anytime soon....I'm just guessing....
Maybe I should call my parents and make the hurting stop....