Monday, February 22, 2010

I was Swimmin with the Fishes, Yo!

So on the off chance anyone actually noticed that I was gone, I thought I would have an excuse readily prepared.  In fact, I have made the extra effort to actually GO somewhere and document said absence with photographic evidence.  Yes,THAT'S how far I will go to get out of work - clearly, I consider pretty much anything that requires movement or my participation to be "work"....these days. Hey! We all gots our priorities.  Don't judge me!

ANYWAY, we went to Port Sudan again this weekend, but this time we went DIVING!  I gotta to tell you: IT ROCKED.   If it weren't for the whole T"ravel Warning to Sudan"  that the USG insists on putting out all the time, I would TOTALLY recommend you do this trip as well.  However, since I'm technically still (unless they fired me today, can't really be sure yet) a USG employee, I'm (allegedly) not supposed to recommend you travel here. 

(But I do, because it was totally cool. )

(But I DON'T, because that would be wrong!!)

(No, I totally do.)   

(But with the caveat that the living conditions are "primitive" because Sudan has not discovered Egyptian cotton - which never ceases to amaze me because Egypt is their Next Door Neighbor...Ergo, scratchy sheets.  Buyer beware.  How's THAT for a useful  Travel Warning!?)

Okay, so my point...."No Shit There I Was..."  I know I have said that once or maybe 27 imes before, but this time I really WAS there (in the shit)!  But for reals this time!

Seriously, there were HAMMERHEADS yo!  Of course, I didn't get any pictures, because we're USG employees and are too poor to afford a REAL underwater camera; therefore, all my documentary evidence is above 30 feet and the hammerheads were not cooperative for my photo op. 

However, did I mention? HAMMERHEADS!  Are you listening here?? SHARKS!  In water.  Me.  In Water.  (It's got the makings of my book entitled "No Shit There I Was" written ALL over it!!)  I was fearless (if by fearless you mean that I started to hyperventilate into my regulator and then proceeded to simultaneously hide behind Josh's tank while I pushed him toward the approaching sharks...) 

(I mean...we barely know him right?? What's five years of marriage?? We're still in that "getting to know the "real" you (and finding a way to put the real you back in the box where you had it hidden for the last 4 years) stage...) 

So, to make a long, convoluted story you probably didn't want to hear in the first place, I give you PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF to excuse my absence:

Just a bunch o'coral reef pics..pretty much the only thing that turned out  on the photos.  We can just all agree that I do not have an alternate career in photography awaiting me....

other Joe

No.  I don't know what this is either.  At first I thought it was the reef shark we saw, but now I'm not so might be a grouper. Or my missing slipper.  Obviously, we can never be sure...


Tippy boat... welcome sea name was vomitey-girl.

Believe it or not, this is a clam.  Or was it something else.  I wasn't really listening.  But it would be waay cooler if this was a clam.  

This fish (whom I named Joe) refused to pose for a picture.  After 72 tries, I gave up on Joe's Jackassery.

Note to Self: Scuba gear is SERIOUSLY unflattering. 

This was the wreck of the Umbria.  Some Italian ship that sunk just before WWII.  It was cool.  Looks better up close....I swear I heard Celine Dion music playing down there.....

Joe's friend Joe-Jr, hanging out in one of the Umbria's stove pipe thingeys.

And Joe Sr.  (Joe had a lotta friends in the Red Sea frankly....)

I'm not sure what the hell this is... I assume there was water....

So there you have it.  Photographic proof I was otherwise detained!!!  Obviously, this means any of your absences will need to be excused as well.  I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules (I just throw off the curve). 


mo.stoneskin said...

Unless I'm greatly mistaken that last photo is of a cat wearing a hot water bottle.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Yes, scuba gear makes a mockery out of everyone.

Captain Dumbass said...

Mo is all wrong, that is obviously a dead owl.

franzi said...

i don't think you heard celine down there. must have been a shark trying to get your ass to freak out!


franzi said...

i don't think you heard celine down there. must have been a shark trying to get your ass to freak out!


Middle Aged Woman said...

That's not a Joe, that's a Dory! She's famous. Also, I wouldn't worry about the scuba gear. I'd be more concerned about the giant booger that appears to be sneaking up on you from behind.

SB said...

SCARY. I don't think I could ever do that! good on you!

Beth said...

I think that last picture is a vase. And by vase I mean it rhymes with base (I didn't want you to think I was all snooty).

injaynesworld said...

I kinda have a pact with sea life: I'll stay out of your home and you stay out of mine. Sharks?! Check, please! Thanks for diving so I don't have to and for sharing your adventure.

darsden said...

awesome, great I am sooo jealous! How deep did you dive? and where were the sharks again...bottom or top

blognut said...

Dude. Did you just shit something yellow into the water?

Man, that's gross.

You should not photograph that. :)

Paige said...

Now Im the most jealous of you I have ever been--diving is my thing, and I am still hunting the Hammerhead. Maybe this summer in Honduras. We shall see. I am also going shark cage diving this fall, if everything falls into place. i love me a big shark

Underwater photography is HARD. I got to rent a really good camera in Bonaire this year, and came home and pitched my shitty one. Not I got nada. That was dumb

McGillicutty said...

OFFS... I can't believe you swam in water with Hammerhead Sharks!!! that proves it.. you are a total nut and deserve to be banished to the Sudan.
What were you thinking????
I love love love the pics though.. very cool...can't wait for your book.

Susan said...

Umm, not to be nitpicky or anything but one of those Joe's is a Jane. Look closer.

Fragrant Liar said...

That last pic? Dude, those are fart bubbles. Who was down there last?

I hear Jaws music. Did you?

tera said...

If you write a book called "No Shit There I Was" I'm totally buying 10 copies just 'cause the name rocks!

Love the frilly blue "clam"! :)